Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

Imagine wanting to spend billions on something so easily circumvented.

I guess lefties think that illegal aliens can walk on water.

Wow, you’re right. There’s a huge flaw in my post, I forgot that humans have no way to get across water. Thanks for pointing that out, I’ll get right on deleting this.

MY MOM SET A TOWEL ON THE COUNTER AND IT JUST FUCKING CAUGHT ON FIRE

THERE WAS NOTHING NEAR IT IT JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED

Is your mother Spencer Shay

He just gets slowly less concerned

destroy the idea that bunk beds are just for kids

especially the sort where the lower bunk is actually a desk or a couch

i mean

come on

tell me you don’t want one of these

i need it

I have always thought about this

When I get my studio apartment I’ll have one for sure

human brain: beds go on the floor

monkey brain: SAFER UP TREE

Oh my god is this a cat or a sheep?

a shat

Dont call it that please

Why is this so funny

Just flip ‘em!

Please do this for them if you find one… They are so completely harmless and just want to get back to cleaning the sea floor.  I love them so much :)

they’re literally just ocean roombas please be nice to them