Dumpster fire.

women want me for my huge cock (silicone) and my huge tits (silicone) and my funny pointed wizard hat (silly cone)

I needed that second pic

(via @some-loser-called-jab )

So the new Vermintide 2 update has the most glorious of hats, a righteous couvre-chef for that most holy of men.

It’s a paid cosmetic though so I will only admire it from afar, which is good for avoiding heretical wordplay I guess.

EDIT: A friend bought the hat, confirming my suspicion. DO NOT BUY THIS HAT. If you buy it, you can’t actually see it in action because it sits on top of your head, where your eyeballs cannot see. Get your friend to buy it instead, and then you can watch him wade into the rat horde with his majestically flopping swine chapeau.

😏 smirk + 🥺 pleading

From Twitter

Inspired on this post by @superbonusround  , here are my Spyro 2 talismans gifs [Part. 1]

the funniest character headcanons are feral, homophobic and tax evader i dont accept constructive criticism and you cant change my mind

hates the irish, fucks to survive, war criminal

alignment chart

she does not FUCK

Top 10 posts on tumblr

i just wanted to share my favorite john boyega tweet on this fine new years eve:

oh fuck run

Whenever someone tries to claim that evolution is a lie, I send them a picture of platybelodon.

1. It’s an excellent example of transitional evolution.

2. It’s a mess who would intentionally do this and why

3. It makes them piss themselves a little.

“Evolution is just a theory-”

Oh good god

I couldn’t help but wonder what this absolute bastard of a skull would look like, and

I was not disappointed. But I was terrified.

OK but what is fucking killing me is that this whole argument, while brilliant, is this:

@cooolgnome

true performance art.

true incels are literally indistinguishable from satire bc they really all do talk Like That but once again, just to confirm:

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

I’m sorry what

you heard me

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

@genericrevenge

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

kinda, yeah

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

That logo looks familiar.

WHAT

OH MY GOD

We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time. 

If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.

This post just keeps going new places every reblog cycle.

today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car