Cass

Boy Where Me God Damn Body Warsh Is

military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps

enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it

whale fall side of tumblr you understand me

Does he mean anything to you

me after 3 hours sleep 

mother : are you all right? me :  

Me every time I have an episode

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

cheapy the cheapskate

I laughed more than I should’ve 💀

Ralph Breaks the Internet is already a horrible movie but I just can’t begin to imagine how bad it will age

Imagine 30 years from now having to explain to people that Disney was trying to do something DARING by exploring Internet World so they made an “emotional” scene where the main character reads mean comments about him by people who dont even know he’s a sentient creature and just consider him a dumb video game meme

This is so fucking innacurate bc if ralph were real people on twitter wouldnt be hateposting about him theyd be drawing his cock

How do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humor

I was wondering where this was going and lemme tell you I fell out of my chair

For those of you that are wondering, please have one of the fiest pieces of radio comedy ever:

A real, actual, I-am-not-fucking-lying-to-you-this-truly-happened moment from the Christmas special Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

ricky: great-grandma, you always know just what to say!

ricky’s great-grandma: dohuhohohwhehelghuhohokesynohehCHRISTMAS huahhahohoho

I thought of this while i was driving today and almost drove into my mailbox

TEA, A DRINK WITH JAM AND BREAD

heLP I DON’T KNOW WHICH TUNE TO SING IT IN

SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WEIDERSENG GOOD BYE.

LOOK DOWN, LOOK DOWN, YOU’RE HERE UNTIL YOU DIE.

when you stay up all night doing hw and the teacher doesn’t collect it

this is everything I look for in a man

@busbug

someone: have you seen breaking bad?

me, remembering this video: yeah it was amazing

got my full back tattoo done at Claire’s

had my birthday party in the sensory deprivation tank at Claire’s

Got circumcised at Claire’s

was buried in a shallow grave at Claire’s

Okay so I’m watching my friend’s cats while she’s away and she left me descriptions so I could tell who’s who

They’re pretty accurate 

oh god why is this me lol help

I’m so glad this came back into my life

ahahahahahahah omg