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if i cannot move heaven, i will raise hell.

@poiisonedwine / poiisonedwine.tumblr.com

i'm courtney and i'm fucking cool. 21
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emmajaneex
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lynati
my brain, interrupting my daydream: this is poorly researched and the narrative is not compelling

Brain: “Do it again, take it from the top.”

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joshpeck

Accidentally coming out to my family

Uncle: are you texting a boy?Me: no
Uncle: why not??
Me: boys are gross
Uncle: *sarcastically* you a lesbian?
Me: *doesn't look up from phone* yeah
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acutext
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straightwhiteboystexting
Anonymous asked:

I just read the potato thing ("if you were a potato you'd be a sweet potato") and I'm considering sending that to my girlfriend (minus the weird creepy sex part) bc she often calls herself a potato in the negative sense, but I'm not sure whether she'll take it in the "you're sweet way" or the "you're a potato way" and I don't want it to be the second one but it could be bc I've never seen a sweet potato and I doubt she has which is weird because we come from Ireland like potatoes are our thing

straightwhiteboystexting answered:

You may be overthinking this a little bit 

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samhasham

I’m on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I’m driving–like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole he said “to the left,” and I just mumbled “take it back now y'all” and hit the pothole straight on

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ten-and-donna

Literally crying

this is my favorite post on this website

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samhasham
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ellsari

My bro has the cutest dog. I don’t know why she’s in the laundry basket and I don’t care because she is so freaking cute.

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fuckyeahloldemort

Dammit I forgot to bring my pineapple to class

Fun fact: One time in my English class, this dude walks in like 10 minutes late. He’s carrying a pineapple with him. I figure he needs it for something later on in the day so I don’t think anything of it. Well about 5 minutes after he sits down, this dude pulls out his pineapple, starts turning it around in his hands, stares at it, and STARTS EATING IT. SKIN AND EVERYTHING. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PINEAPPLE SKIN WAS EDIBLE. I don’t think I had ever been more confused in my life. I wish I still had the picture I took of it saved on my phone.

Oklahoma is a strange state

You have no idea

Reading that was an experience

i found the pictures

OH MY GOD

there are some stories on tumblr that are too weird or extreme sounding to be true. Sometimes there’s like, one picture, which could be something else out of context with an elaborate story tacked on.

but then there’s this shit and. there’s just. there is absolutely no way for there to be any contest over whether or not that man actually came to school and ate a whole pineapple. There it is. There he goes. There’s no way for anyone to argue this. That boy honest to god is just eating a fucking pineapple at school.

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sese24
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so fckn done with everyone tonight i cant even 

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“you’re so whipped it’s cute”

i aM NOT WHIPPED I WILL WHIP U IN THE FACE BOY 

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trust
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as-seenon-tv

I was in city today

I just want to imagine what people around you thought when they saw you holding a middle finger up to Trump building and photographing it with your phone.

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as-seenon-tv

actually it’s funny you say that bc there was a lady in a wheelchair going the opposite direction as me who legit turned to me and yelled “me too” so

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heart

i live by here and all my friends snapchat stories are basically this

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