H*melander is such a stupid rotten bitch for killing literally the only person on his team who remotely liked him such a fucking dumbass for having a shit father and he knows Black Noir is a rule follower and if they said don’t tell him then he’s not gonna tell him so just fucking gut punch him for being who he is which is simply a good employee oh shit wow this is totally unexpected im so happy Soldier Boy called him a weak pussy to his face

Honestly pissed

I know that officially Doctor Mario is just Mario dressed as a doctor, but I choose to believe that he’s Mario from an alternate timeline because it’s the option that lends itself to shenanigans.

Doctor Mario: Welp gotta head home. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we’ve got an early flight to Delfino we have to catch

Mario:

Doctor Mario: Y’know most people follow that up with a little, ‘hey, happy anniversary’ or-

Mario: You’re married??

Doctor Mario:

Doctor Mario: You’re not????

Mario: No!! Who are you married to?????

Doctor Mario: To Tony!!!

Mario:

Doctor Mario:

Mario: WHO’S TONY??????

Doctor Mario: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHO’S TONY’???????????

I had to visualize this conversation so that my soul could rest.

Okay while I’m still vibrating with joy a fun fact about this post that nobody asked for

I never chose the name Tony randomly. I specifically decided to name Dr. Mario’s husband after one of the bosses from NES Open Tournament Golf

Because I thought Mario paired well with a twink

Happy Anniversary

Mario Heritage Post

*sends this to all my extended family*

‘tis that time of year

Years Later

it's my 24th birthday and i'll stand haphazardly on a chair if I want to

yeah the us has a 2 party system its called team edward vs team jacob

nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing

I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?

yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate

I can’t with this

bae: babe come over me: can’t i’m training my ampharos bae: my parents aren’t home me:

movies are so weird people hang out like twice and theyre all like “im in love with you” calm down maybe

How vaccine works

Art💖

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

Fig and his pumpkins 🎃❤️

op: *knock knock*

them:

:V

:V :V :V :V :V

Guys I love Beedle please appreciate this hardworking, crop top wearing man that is only ever kind and deserves every beetle I ever find.