I'm Sorry Bud...

" Mostly because if men had all the painful stuff, they wouldn't be able to handle it." She chuckled, rubbing her back and rocking her like she was little again. Ash closed her eyes, taking deep, slow breaths. " I love you, Sophie. And I promise, it's not all painful."

It didn’t take long for Danny and Joey to return to the house, the elder of the two clearly having given the younger a severe talking to, judging by the redness in Joey’s eyes and the clear nerves evident on his face.

Danny grunted as he shuffled up behind his fiancée, who was facing away from him in bed that night. He moved in to spoon her, pulling her gently into his bare chest and pressing gentle kisses to the back of her neck.

“… hey… I know we made sure Soph is okay… but are you okay…?”

She’d been through this before with Clementine. But Clementine had been with her boyfriend for a year before they did anything, and it had been in private, fully safe, and when she was eighteen.

“… talk to me, buttface…”

Ash took a deep breath, leaning against him before letting it out slowly. " When my dad found out that I was having sex.... he got drunker than I'd ever seen him. He attacked me, tried to rape me and told me that I was nothing and if i wanted to be a whore then he'd show me." she had curled tighter into herself, taking a deep breath before rolling over. " I swore I would never do that to my kids. If I had any cause, I wasn't sure that I wanted any." She ran a hand over her face.

" I won't say that I wasn't angry or disappointed that they didn't wait. Or that Sophie didn't just come in here to get condoms. But I didn't do what my father did. I didn't rage at her, or make her uncomfortable about it for longer than she needed to be." She sighed. " I just wish she had waited until she was ready and sure. And that Joey had been smarter or more insistant about the condom." She sighed again. " But I really dont have room to talk."

Danny sighed and just nuzzled her head, holding her to his chest and opting to let her do whatever she needed to in order to let out whatever she felt.

“Considering I you looked like an overfilled Twinkie the first time we banged, we really don’t have any room to discipline ‘em on that front…” He agreed, letting out a quiet, sad chuckle. He looked down at her and bonked her forehead, offering a gentle smile of reassurance. “But you’re in your thirties… we’re both legal… And up until we started ‘not-not trying’ to get pregnant, we were pretty goddamn religious about using protection.“

He was right, of course. They had been almost military precision when it came to condoms or Plan-B.

He pulled her close again, hand trailing up her back. “You handled it so well… you’ve given her the tools and the knowledge to take care of herself. All you can do now is trust her to be smart, and to support her if anything goes wrong.”

‘Plus’— Danny thought with a smirk — ‘the videos of childbirth I made Joey watch will probably have him wrapping up twice to make sure they avoid it.’

She sighed, closing her eyes. " I know." She said, running a hand over her face. " I just want to protect her, and I swear, if Joey pulls some shit again, I'm going to beat him to within an inch of his life."

She cuddled into him, closing her eyes. " at least Lee wasn't here. I have no doubt he would have flipped his lid. Injuries or not."

Danny just flinched at that last comment.

It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable with her having an amicable relationship with her ex, but… it felt a little skeevy.

They were getting married soon, after all. Little over four months, all told. But still he couldn’t help but feel like an outsider of sorts — like as soon as Lee came home (something, again, he was so fucking happy for he could cry with relief) their relationship would become a lesser priority.

But he had to suck it up for her. He had to. After all wasn’t marriage about give and take?

He could put up with it. For her. For their family.

Unfortunately it was easier said than done. Surely enough, Lee pushed himself to get better quicker and their shorter time frame was something that came true against all odds.

Danny yawned lightly as he woke, only a month after Lee had come home, before turning to look at the woman beside him with a gentle smile.

He checked his watch, grimacing at the fact he’d woken up way too early for work but way too late to go back to sleep, before once again starting to smirk.

He grunted and scooted over, gently wrapping his arms around her waist and purposefully pulling her back to his chest, kissing at her neck.

Since Lee had come home it had been different to say the least. Their time revolved around nothing except the kids, Lee, and Work. The baby they’d been trying for had instantly gone onto the back burner, and their sex life was immediately ousted in place of getting as much sleep as possible.

He smirked, gently kissing at her neck and pressing himself to her, chest flush to her back and his… morning situation very much so evident.

He waited until he could feel her start stirring before continuing, leaving longer and hotter kisses to her skin. “I ever tell you how beautiful you are on a morning…?” He muttered against her.

" Mostly because if men had all the painful stuff, they wouldn't be able to handle it." She chuckled, rubbing her back and rocking her like she was little again. Ash closed her eyes, taking deep, slow breaths. " I love you, Sophie. And I promise, it's not all painful."

It didn’t take long for Danny and Joey to return to the house, the elder of the two clearly having given the younger a severe talking to, judging by the redness in Joey’s eyes and the clear nerves evident on his face.

Danny grunted as he shuffled up behind his fiancée, who was facing away from him in bed that night. He moved in to spoon her, pulling her gently into his bare chest and pressing gentle kisses to the back of her neck.

“… hey… I know we made sure Soph is okay… but are you okay…?”

She’d been through this before with Clementine. But Clementine had been with her boyfriend for a year before they did anything, and it had been in private, fully safe, and when she was eighteen.

“… talk to me, buttface…”

Ash took a deep breath, leaning against him before letting it out slowly. " When my dad found out that I was having sex.... he got drunker than I'd ever seen him. He attacked me, tried to rape me and told me that I was nothing and if i wanted to be a whore then he'd show me." she had curled tighter into herself, taking a deep breath before rolling over. " I swore I would never do that to my kids. If I had any cause, I wasn't sure that I wanted any." She ran a hand over her face.

" I won't say that I wasn't angry or disappointed that they didn't wait. Or that Sophie didn't just come in here to get condoms. But I didn't do what my father did. I didn't rage at her, or make her uncomfortable about it for longer than she needed to be." She sighed. " I just wish she had waited until she was ready and sure. And that Joey had been smarter or more insistant about the condom." She sighed again. " But I really dont have room to talk."

Danny sighed and just nuzzled her head, holding her to his chest and opting to let her do whatever she needed to in order to let out whatever she felt.

“Considering I you looked like an overfilled Twinkie the first time we banged, we really don’t have any room to discipline ‘em on that front…” He agreed, letting out a quiet, sad chuckle. He looked down at her and bonked her forehead, offering a gentle smile of reassurance. “But you’re in your thirties… we’re both legal… And up until we started ‘not-not trying’ to get pregnant, we were pretty goddamn religious about using protection.“

He was right, of course. They had been almost military precision when it came to condoms or Plan-B.

He pulled her close again, hand trailing up her back. “You handled it so well… you’ve given her the tools and the knowledge to take care of herself. All you can do now is trust her to be smart, and to support her if anything goes wrong.”

‘Plus’— Danny thought with a smirk — ‘the videos of childbirth I made Joey watch will probably have him wrapping up twice to make sure they avoid it.’

" Mostly because if men had all the painful stuff, they wouldn't be able to handle it." She chuckled, rubbing her back and rocking her like she was little again. Ash closed her eyes, taking deep, slow breaths. " I love you, Sophie. And I promise, it's not all painful."

It didn’t take long for Danny and Joey to return to the house, the elder of the two clearly having given the younger a severe talking to, judging by the redness in Joey’s eyes and the clear nerves evident on his face.

Danny grunted as he shuffled up behind his fiancée, who was facing away from him in bed that night. He moved in to spoon her, pulling her gently into his bare chest and pressing gentle kisses to the back of her neck.

“… hey… I know we made sure Soph is okay… but are you okay…?”

She’d been through this before with Clementine. But Clementine had been with her boyfriend for a year before they did anything, and it had been in private, fully safe, and when she was eighteen.

“… talk to me, buttface…”

" Youre not going to have a baby, sweetheart." she reached over and got the box of Plan B. She handed it to Sophie to read. " this is plan B. If you have unprotected sex or have the condom break, you can take one of these. It'll make you have a period, and nothing will happen. That's what I sent Danny and Joey to get."

She pulled her into a hug again. " I promise sweetheart. You're going to be fine. Maybe a little sore for a couple days, but you're going to be fine."

Sophie sniffled a little, once again cuddling into her mom and just being held, squeezing her as tight as she could for as long as she could.

“… why does being a woman suck…?” She eventually muttered, sniffling. She looked up at Ash, tears trailing down her face, before once again curling into her mom. “Guys get to do everything pain free, and we get all the painful bullshit…”

Ash gave a little laugh. " No, sweetheart. Not every time is going to be a life changing experience. It depends on a lot of factors. Whether you're nervous, or stressed. Since it was your first time, I'm going to chalk it up to the nervous part. But it also depends on your partner. If he's as inexperienced as you, then he might not have realized."

Ash chuckled again. " It is completely normal to have awful sex your first time. More than likely, those girls were fibbing about it. It takes time to learn what you like or what your partner might like. But it's normal, love."

Sophie could only not, brow furrowed and her discomfort clear on her face.

Then she leaned into Ash, her arms snaking around her waist and burying herself into her, almost like she would when she was a kid.

“… you’re not going to tell dad, are you…?”

She knew that as her parents, he’d probably find out anyway. But his recovery was going so fucking well, and no doubt if he got stressed… and if he found out his daughter had lost her virginity to an eighteen year old, he’d probably keel over in shock.

Then she looked up, clearly in a panic. “Fuck, I’m — I’m not gonna have a baby, right?! We didn’t — he didn’t— I don’t want a baby! I’m barely sixteen!”

" It's okay, my love." She said, pulling her into a hug. Ash held her gently for a few moments before taking a deep breath.

" But for future reference, the girls at your school are very naive about this. You can get pregnant your first time if you don't use any protection." She pulled back a moment before pulling her over to the bedside table. She opened the drawer and showed her. There was a box of plan B and a box of condoms. " I always keep the condoms in both bedside drawers. "

Ash pulled her down to sit beside her on the bed. She held her hand, and gave her a little smile. " Now, Sophie, this doesn't mean that I want you to have sex all the time. But if it happens, and I'm going to give you some to put in your purse just in case, at least be safe about it." She brushed her hair away from her face. " do you have any questions for me?"

Sophie gulped and sat down beside her mom, gently picking at the skin on her fingers and furrowing her brow.

“… is it always gonna be bad?”

The question came with a little hesitation but also every innocence of a teenager first exploring themselves.

“… like, it was okay. And I felt okay. It hurt a little at first, but not for long. And he did things for me before we, yknow, did it. But the actual sex was… kinda underwhelming… Is it always like that…?”

Of course, the girls at school had talked about this quite a lot — talked about how amazing it was and how amazing their boyfriends were in bed. But… she’s not had that experience. He’d not hurt her beyond the initial pain that everyone experienced. He’d not done anything wrong. But…

“Everything I’ve heard said it was supposed to be this amazing, mind-blowing thing… Is there something wrong with me? Is that why it wasn’t good?”

" I love you too. You take the same advice, alright?" She said, watching them go before giving a sigh.

She knew that this would happen eventually. Of course, she had hoped that it wouldn't happen for a few more years, but that was neither here nor there.

As she reached her bedroom, her mind flashed back to her own teenage years. To when her father had found out about her. That terrible night that she had finally ran away from everything she'd known and started her life with Lee.

She stopped, taking a few deep breaths before stepping inside. Ash held up her hand to pause her daughter. " I want to know two things before you start panicking because I caught you in bed with a boy." She walked closer to her and took Sophie's hands.

" Did he force himself on you, or was it consensual? And why didn't you come in here to get protection? You know I always keep some on hand." She asked, brushing a lock of hair from her face. " I'm not mad. I just want to know that you were being safe- or had thought about being safe at least."

Okay so maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.. her mom didn’t immediately blow up at her, and she didn’t pull out a chastity belt. So maybe… maybe she got away with it…?

No such luck.

Because despite not immediately being yelled at, the questions that followed were enough to have her skin darkening in a blush.

“No! No, it was — it was a mutual thing, we… I beat him on mariokart and then we were wrestling, and then…” Sophie trailed off, before gulping and looking away. “I thought about grabbing one, but I didn’t know where you kept them and I didn’t want to find anything, y’know, personal and stuff. He said he’d pull out and that it feels better without, so we’d be good. Plus, the girls at school said you can’t get pregnant your first time, so…”

She gulped, her jaw clenching and shame forming slowly across her expression. “I’m— I’m sorry, mom, I—“

Ash took a deep breath before she pushed the door open. Her hand covered her eyes, she didn't need to see what they were doing. She could tell that they were done when Joey spoke, and her blood ran cold.

" Sophie, when you get dressed, you are to go to my room and wait for me." Ash said, dropping her hand before she turned her gaze on Joey, her eyes piercing. " and you, you are going with Danny to buy a plan B. You will be paying for it, do you understand? Now get dressed. I expect you downstairs in two minutes."

Then she closed the door, walking downstairs to Danny. " They were doing it. Joey should be down here any moment if you'll take him to pick up some plan B and condoms. We haven't used any in so long I can't guarantee it's not expired."

A deer in headlights… both teens looked up as Ash entered, and in turn both scrambled to cover themselves up before Ash uncovered her eyes.

Sophie blushed and nodded, while Joey — being older and a little less awkward — just gulped, nodding and paling by the second.

And then she left, leaving the two of them to clean up and to get dressed as fast as they could.

Danny’s entire being went ice cold when Ash spoke, his body tingling with rage at his cousin, while his heart broke for his stepdaughter.

“I’m gonna — yeah, we can— we can do that. You gonna be okay talking to—“

Joey emerged from Sophie’s room and slowly made his way down the stairs, sheepish not even being close to a descriptor. Danny frowned, grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking his head as he pushed him towards the door.

Once Joey was outside and waiting by the car, Danny turned back to Ash, his hand reaching out for hers and squeezing gently. “Go easy on her… ‘Kay…? We all do dumb shit as teenagers…” He mumbled quietly, before leaning down for a kiss. “Back in an hour. I love you…”

———

Sophie gulped as she paced around her moms room, her legs still feeling funny and her stomach aching.

She gnawed gently at one of her nails, clearly crapping herself more and more by the second. Would her mom hate her, would she be in trouble? Would today finally be the day her mom disowned her? Would she be ousted by the family and be forced to live out her life in her car?

Her brain was interrupted from its tirade by the door opening, and she looked up, paling in complete fear. “M-mom, I…”

Ash chuckled and relaxed as they headed back to the house. It wasn't until they got inside that Ash got worried. It was obvious that the kids had played a game, and they had left a bit of money so they could get lunch.

" Maybe they went for pizza?" She suggested before hearing the thumps. She frowned even as her eyes went wide. " No... she wouldn't." Ash said automatically before heading up the stairs, then turned to Danny. " You stay here. Let me handle it."

Danny gulped, brown still furrowed as he followed her as far as the foot of the stairs, gripping the rail they’d installed for Clementine almost in a death grip.

“You really think they’d…?”

Oh they would. And they were.

Joey’s groaning was increasing in intensity as his end neared, Sophie’s slowly mingling with his as hers neared, too. His chest pressed to hers and his hips juddered, holding her down as he finished inside her, unaware and uncaring that the door opened behind them.

Of course, he’d promised Sophie he would pull out due to the fact they didn’t have protection, and because Sophie didn’t really want to go rooting around in her mothers bedroom — god knows what she’d find. But it had felt so good he didn’t want to.

He smirked, holding her in place as he rode out his end, looking down at her goofily. “I’d say I’m sorry for not pulling out, but…” He looked down between them and grinned. “Holy fuck that’s hot…”

Ash kissed his hand again as they started to move. " I'd like that. We haven't had a chance to get away for a while. And we probably won't have a chance to once Lee is home. But a chance to get away for a few days and recenter. That sounds amazing."

She leaned her head back and looked at him. " And so long as Jerome doesn't mind, I wouldn't mind spending a couple weekends at the apartment."

Danny could only smirk at that. The last time they’d stayed at his place they’d had nonstop sex for two days, to the point that he’d joked that he didn’t think Ash would ever stop leaking.

Jerome, of course, had immediately mocked them. But it had been in good humour. So he wouldn’t mind them bunking down in the slightest.

———

The house was quiet when they got home.

Danny furrowed his brow, looking around the living room at the remnants of what looked to be an intense gaming session. “Must’ve gone for a walk or somethin’…” He offered to Ash, smirking. “Want me to make us some coffee while you go get changed?”

Just as he spoke, a gentle, steady thumping started to reverberate through the house, stemming from what sounded like Sophie’s bedroom.

Danny’s brow furrowed, horror beginning to dawn on his expression.

And that horror — that fear — was 100% correct.

Joey groaned, his hips pumping furiously as he neared his end. “Fuck, Soph… I’m gonna—“ he gasped.

Ash squeezed his hand and gave him a smile. " It's not stupid, love. Your feelings aren't stupid." She ran her thumb over his knuckles. " I would like that. I haven't spent much time there. But I think some time fully alone would be good for us. I know we haven't had much time alone for a while."

She thought a moment. " Maybe Garrett can come help with Lee and give us a break. And maybe a date night."

He nodded in response, gently thumbing her knuckles in return.

This entire situation was fucked — royally so. But they were also doing what they could to keep things together. Hell, maybe some good could come from it! Maybe — just maybe — they could develop a healthy Coparenting relationship between the three of them with exposure therapy.

“Maybe we could take a weekend away before Lee comes home? Just for the two of us?” He suggested, as he merged onto the highway and relaxed in his seat. “Not just for a dirty weekend or whatever… but some time off from being mom and stepdad, and some time off from work and shit?”

Not that he disliked his role as stepfather. In fact it was the opposite. So much so they had to— prior to Lee waking up — been upping the intensity that they were trying to conceive. Those plans were on hold for the time being, though, now other priorities had arisen.

But as much as he loved being a dad, they also needed time to process and re-couple.

" Six weeks for the home visit, then a few weeks after that. I think. The adaptions are all listed in here." She said, climbing in and looking through the papers in her lap. She was reading a line, before reaching over to take his hand.

" I know this isn't a conventional situation." She sighed, leaning her head back. " Thank you for being understanding. I know it's going to be difficult, and I understand if you don't want anything to do with it."

And she did understand. They had a limited amount of time, and this was going to constrict it even more.

" But luckily, we have a lot of extended damily that will probably be willing to help out." She smiled, leaning closer to give his cheek a kiss.

Danny could only nod, threading his fingers with hers and grunting, getting comfortable for the drive.

He felt her leaning in to kiss him, and leaned into it, squeezing her hand and bringing it up to kiss the back of it.

“No, I mean, we’ve wanted this since day dot, right? I’m so fucking happy that he’s getting better, and he’s coming home. I just…” He sighed, shaking his head and screwing up his eyes a little to try and push away the small amount of jealousy building within him.

I’m scared you’ll fall back in love with him.

I’m scared you’ll fall out of love with me

I’m scared I won’t be enough for you anymore

He gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his neck and his brow furrowing. “… forget it. I’m… it’s stupid. We’ll get him back on his feet properly, get him back to fighting shape. Maybe once he’s stronger we can start spending a couple weekends at my old apartment. I’m sure Jerome won’t mind.”

" Alright. Let me know when you want to do the home visit so i can have the kids at someone else's house." She smiled, content that they were close to having him home. " Though between you and me, we both know that he's going to press himself to that one month mark. So it might be better to tell him two months."

Ash looked over the list of things they needed to double-check. Then she looked at Danny and Lee. She was glad that they were getting along so well.

The therapist just snorted, nodding a little and once again typing something out. "That is very true. So why don't we schedule that visit for six weeks. That way there's no pressure on anyone."

------

"So..." Danny grunted as he slipped into the car, buckling up and reaching under the console to flip the engine. "A month and a half? Two months?"

Now, don't get him wrong, Danny was happy that Lee was coming out of hospital. He really, really was. This had been the end goal all along, right? But... At the same time...

They already barely had time together. They already found themselves being pulled in every direction, at work and at home. So with her ex husband coming home, he could almost see their already meager amount of alone time being stripped from them.

He gulped and looked out at the parking lot, waiting patiently for his fiancee to strap up, before pushing into first gear and starting towards home.

"Did... Did she tell you what sort of adaptions need to be made? We still have all of Clem's but I don't mind putting a few more up around the place if he needs 'em?"

" yes, he's coming back to our house. We're going to figure out things more after that." Ash said, reading over everything. It was cheaper than she'd expected by Lee, who had good insurance. " I've already started to rearrange his room and make the house more accessible. "

Lee's therapist smiled, tapping her laptop keyboard as she made notes. "Considering the extent of his injury, and his coma being so long, his adaptations shouldn't be too intensive. Maybe a walk-in shower, if you don't already have one. Or bars if there are any steps leading to the important areas of the house."

Of course, Danny had already done this when Clementine had been in Physiotherapy -- adapting the house to ensure she could navigate it with complete ease.

She looked over her notes, smiling, before turning back to Ash, and closing her laptop. "Now... I'd say if he keeps going the way he's going -- god knows that man's as stubborn as a mule -- He'll be coming home in a month or two tops. I'll need to make a home visit to ensure the adaptions are in-line with his needs, but... all goes well, he's gonna be back home before you know it."

Ash looked at the set before asking a few questions to the attendant. Namely, if they could get a matching band made of silicone. Then everything went quickly. They filled out a few forms before they were leaving again.

" See. It wasn't so bad." She smiled, her hand gripped tightly in his.

Danny could only groan, a relieved breath leaving him as they finally left the store.

“Listen, man, some of us aren’t used to jewellery stores. Only time I’ve bought any type of jewellery was when I bought your engagement ring, and even then Garrett was the one who did a lot of the paperwork and stuff.” He replied, squeezing her hand in return.

He unlocked the car as they approached it, opening the door and leaning against it as if telling her to get inside. “Onwards to your ex husband’s physio appointment, huh?”

———

Physio was… actually not bad. In fact, Lee managed to walk by himself for a whole circuit of the track before his legs gave out; having been working on their strength since he’d woken up. He was still skinny — ridiculously so. But his strength and stubbornness was as obvious as it had ever been.

“Now, between us two while the boys are entertained…” the physio said with a smile, looking up from her notes. “Has there been any progress in regard to Lee’s housing arrangements once he’s been discharged from inpatient care?” The therapist asked, completely ignoring both Danny and Lee, who were goofing around behind her with a soccer ball, tossing it between them. “You mentioned last time that you were going to discuss it with your fiancé, and he could potentially come back to stay in your marital home. Have you had chance to talk yet, or…?”

Ash gripped his hand back, giving him as much support as she could. " Come on." She said, moving to one of the salespeople. Within a few moments, Ash had gotten them a sales pamphlet for custom wedding bands.

" Here, this will make it easier. Look at this, and we can figure things out." She smiled, opening the pamphlet for them to start looking. " And if you don't like any of these, we can always look online."

He could only nod at her as she took charge, offering her a slight smile that clearly screamed that he had no clue what he was doing, but also that he was excited, instead of being shit scared.

It took him a while to really look, but eventually pointed at one of them on the top right of the pamphlet — a his and hers set. His would be slightly thicker than hers, but both were made of dark metal.

“Those are nice… would go with the blue theme, too.”

Ash smiled when he walked out, her eyes brightening. " you look sharp." She said, moving closer and running her hand over his chest. " I think we should get it in blue or black. Unless you want to change our colors."

They talked it over before finally landing on green and either dark blue or black. In all honesty, they had decided a lot of things so far. She had decided not to get a traditional wedding dress, instead deciding to get a dress that would incorporate both of their colors.

" but otherwise, this is the nicest suit I've seen you in." She smiled again.

"The only suit you've seen me in," He replied with a smirk, cocking his eyebrow and resting his hands on her waist, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "And the only other time'll be my graduation, or when we get our kid baptised."

Thankfully, the store actually stocked the exact same suit in a dark blue, and paired it with a green tie and pocket square. They also made a note to put aside two childrens suits and another adult suit for the two boys and his brother, before putting down the base payment for the fitting service.

Wedding band shopping was a whole other thing...

"Dude, where do we even freaking start...?" He asked, looking into the window with a little trepidation. "I mean... Jesus..."

He knew he wanted a darker metal, and also a silicone replacement to wear when working. But he'd never even thought about this kind of thing. And there were so fucking many...

His hand gripped hers, and he turned to look at her, clearly overwhelmed.