Cancer and my inability to sit still.

I haven’t posted on here in like 500 years. The only reason I am is because I know no one is gonna really read it. I took a break to focus on myself and my health and the rampant negativity that seemed to take over on the site. It was like watching a constant witch hunt. After feeling really sick and fatigued the last few months of 2017 and right into 2018 I finally made the decision to have every test imaginable. I figured I’d just been working too much and just did it as a precautionary measure. When my doctor called me in to discuss the results, I automatically knew something was very wrong. After tons of tests and painful biopsies I was told i had very early stage cervical cancer. All those cervical cancer commercials popped into my head. I could barely hear my doctor as my head started pounding. First the fucking brain tumor now this! I was angry and sunk into a very depressed state. I withdrew from most everyone. After a few weeks I decided plotting my own death was not the answer so I talked to my doctor about antidepressants. To my surprise starting my Wellbutrin regimen actually made me want to kill myself more. I sought comfort in my closest friends and we got through that stage. When I came out on the other end it was time to do something. I scheduled my surgery and changed my diet and lifestyle. I took up running and yoga. I dropped just under 20 lbs in the 6 weeks before my surgery. Last week I went in at the butt crack of dawn and had all the malignant tissue removed from my cervix. One day post op I was up and walking. 4 days post op i’m back to really light yoga. I’m a little sore and it’ll be a while before i’m running again but I feel good. Everyone wants me to sit down and rest but i feel like I’ve done enough of that. Through all of it I’ve had a lot of dissapointments. People who I thought were on my team, I learned the hard way they weren’t...including my father and stepmother but the people who have been here have really been my cheerleaders. I couldn’t have done this without them. Hell I wouldn’t have done it without them. I’m not 100% yet but I’m working on it. Once I’m better I will officially start living for me.