idk who i am but i don’t like her

Wearing men’s deodorant and watching the straight girls I work with faces’ become Confused and Attracted because I smell like a Hot Guy™ (their words) is a bisexual power move and you can’t tell me otherwise.

Plus, for the first couple of days you also feel constantly Confused and Attracted and where is the Hot Guy™? And then you realize that the Hot Guy™ was you all along.

@boriqueers, showing me to a mouse enclosure at his PetSmart: “do you wanna see the guy that likes to fuck?”

Here he is, the guy who likes to fuck

completely unfunny on main

just totally blowing it

just embarrassing frankly on main

If you scroll pass this you don’t got ten dollars

Need my $10

Guys i literally just got tipped $10 at work

The Love, Simon trailer but instead of Simon writing “dear blue, I’m just like you” he goes “bitch me too. the fuck”

top: has a hoodie

bottom: 

Wasn’t this the plot of God’s own country??

*September arrives*

me: *puts on layered clothes, boots, and a scarf*

someone: it’s like 90 degrees outside–

me: it’s fall

Straight people: that relatable feel when you’re trying to break in to your partner’s phone so you can read all their messages am I right

Me, a normal person: ????????

There’s a big ass water snake living in my porch drain and I just want him to come out… Give him a smooch

LAD SPOTTED

Update: lad kisses camera

I’m gonna see if there’s anything on the other end of the drain

FJDHJDJSNDJD

ITS FREE REAL ESTATE

LOCAL BOY ACQUIRED

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

there is something about that person saying “Maybe so” in that popular gif that gives off the aura of this….. shakespearean swagger. you know what i mean? there’s something about it that’s so imbued with such elegant panache with the way this person looks when they say it. it’s impossible to replicate.