ashlee 🌈💕

THAT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT

trigger warning: food, eating disorders, unhealthy eating habits

i am in tears and i don’t think they’re going to stop. taylor opening up about her unhealthy eating habits in the past just... means a lot. her behaviours with food in the past are almost exactly as mine are right now. they stem from a similar place, obviously hers was incredible heightened and she was in an environment that was a lot more unhealthy than what i experience but, it sounds like it’s born from the same insecurities. in the past year i’ve lost about nine and a half kilos, and i’m 5”2 and was a healthy weight to begin with. my dad recently has been screaming at me to eat because of how unhealthy i’ve become looking, but i can’t find the strength in myself to do it. but hearing how taylor, in her situation, got past those insecurities and learned not to use food as a way to stay in control but to enjoy food and try to retrain her mind to think of a little extra weight as a good thing... it makes me feel like maybe i can too. and i haven’t thought that in a while. i just really, really love her. thank you @taylorswift

@taylorswift

hey sunshine!!! i haven’t written you in a while, which makes me big sad.

i thought i’d give you a little update on my life!!! so, a month ago, my mum suffered a severe stroke. it really turned my life upside down. my mum is my best friend and i’ve never been that scared before. i’ve been really struggling with everything since then because all that’s ever on my mind is her and her recovery and making sure she remains healthy and doesn’t become part of a scary statistic about stroke victims. i’ve been, as always, relying really heavily on your music for strength and courage. i found it really hard to go to classes after it happened, but i’d listen to lover on my way and i passed every class with an a. i’m still terrified of what the outcome of all of this will be, and it’s been preventing me from being as active on instagram and tumblr which makes me sad because i miss you, but your music is definitely getting me through it. your amas performance & acceptance speeches made me smile bigger than i have in ages. thank you for having my back through this and through everything.

love always,

ashlee

definitely cried when i came home to see this waiting for me on my doorstep. @taylorswift thank you for letting me win the heart war!!!