"Do not destroy the landscape!" (Soviet Union, Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic, 1980s)

You can't cut soft cheese in thin slices or wedges because it just gets squished, but you can with hard cheese, cause the protein holds it together. Casein point:

Hey we saw you from across the glade and we really hate your vibe.

I just want to take the funny looking foal home. He's like the opposite of those overbred seahorse arabs.

And I'd let him grow a tail. Obviously.

I sent my childhood best friends the post about jay z being a loser possum that beyonce writes good songs about, whatever, which caused us to discuss possums eating ticks, and then I changed the subject and was like "men should dress like this still btw" and sent a pic of jack rackham and then added "I should be able to do that. and other men should" but due to the beauty of android to iphone communication, caitlin only received. the last part.

i imagine this is how remake part 3 is going to start.

>the goblin leaps to attack!

>the goblin misses!

>the goblin has scraped his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

Anyone wanna read a 500 year old Welsh poem about Pussy?

Cywydd y Cedor

By GWERFUL MECHAIN (fl. 1462-1500)

Translated from the Welsh by Jon Stone

Drunk with vainglory, idiocy or drink,

every male poet does it, ever to the (let’s be frank)

rolled eyes of educated women;

that is, trill blandishments in paean or sermon

endlessly mapping the female form.

It’s ‘your hair lay on the pillow like a sleepy golden storm’,

‘girl of the golden brow’ and ‘soft wet eyes’,

‘sweet rosy breasts’, something dancing like fireflies,

‘the dunes of her arms’ and ‘moonbeam legs’,

hands that are usually dainty and a smile that snags

the heart, their tongues all the time skirting round

the epicentre, where children are made and cocooned,

and its snug vestibule – so obviously awesome,

the bright broken loop of it, tender-plump blossom,

which I, for one, can rifle at my whim.

Gentlemen, I give you: the knicker-dwelling quim.

They are things of some strength, taking regular beatings,

meticulous courtyards, plumy as bulls’ tongues,

and yes, I’ll say it – every vulva is gorgeous,

with their full and cushiony lips, their deep gorges

outdoing the length of both sprawled hand and spoon

and their dark that engulfs all six inches of hard-on.

O, cunt which doth tarry near the swollen arse!

Thou art the desk on which ought be written verse,

and incarnadined sibling to poetry itself,

(I’d rather read about you than bloody Beowulf!)

And those saintly men, those poor innocent men

should really, whenever offered the chance, summon

the courage to document you thoroughly,

that the poets among them break out in a cacophony

of odes to the cunt, prize-winning epics that chart

your silk and subtle seam. Let’s have a Chanson de la Twat,

a Punanica, a Tale of the Grove Where I Knelt,

where the bard remarks: Such a feast beneath her belt !

Her fuzz was the fuzz of a first rate ballsack,

her welcoming knothole electric and sud-slick !

I say: let the silence end, and bless this bright circle,

this wonderful, shock-haired, sour-proud fuckhole.

Original Welsh version below:

House Front - Lake Cowichan 2018

Joshua Watts

and if you’re comfortable put in the tags how old you are

they're making me scan 80s kentucky fair stuff again and if i have to see the pig ad again my day will be irrevocably ruined

not even half an hour in

there's a massive cadre of people on here who can best be described by the phrase "be gay do war crimes"

#it's me#I'm that person

this is not intended to be a funny quirky joke meme phrase it's a description of american or otherwise western gays with deeply imperialist and racist tendencies, you do not want to say you're this person

Genuinely can you shut the fuck up. do you hear yourself rn

@clarissa39 are you sure you kicked the racism and imperialism? Cause it sure doesn't fucking seem like it

Yeah you're right, it's an ongoing process to correct my attitudes and it's going to take a lot of time and effort but is very much the right thing to do. What I mean here is what I have done and been complicit in in the past doesn't go away because I'm getting better and trying to correct my past errors.

Also because I was involved in the YPG in Syria as an irregular, so an illegal combatant...you know, a war criminal

Like very literally this is why I joke about it.

you could've led with that last part and saved everyone a lot of trouble but it is admittedly very funny that you didn't

So kh fans what’s the lore behind utada hikaru being able to dual wield two keyblades? Who had to seek refuge inside utada’s heart?

All of us when we heard Simple and Clean for the first time, that is who