Everyone make a wish. I finished a long and short acting insulin pen at the same time.

You mean you haven't become a cyborg like the rest of us yet? You're missing out, man. I am literally plugged into the wall right now charging (this pump doesn't use batteries)

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

A++ addition

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

I LOVE THIS

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

I’m cackling at how wholesome this is

I love this my gods

DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don't do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!

Also do NOT append "12ft.io/" before a URL ! Typing an URL like this https://12ft.io/<URL> will redirect to a site that would break the display of the page by removing the paywall !

Honestly it's kind of prohibited to mash CTRL+P before some paywall windows can load in to get a PDF of the article. Really shouldn't be done tbh very dangerous🤷🏿‍♂️ ❌️

If you use Firefox, I definitely would NOT recommend looking up add-ons by magnolia1234 on a certain hub for gitting open-source software.

Add-ons from unverified sources are ALWAYS dangerous - you can't be certain what they're doing with your data.

If such add-ons were truly safe, Mozilla wouldn't have kicked them off their own site.

Combine your chinese zodiac and astrology sign to make your true fursona

i still hate this post so much. i’m an ox and a taurus. i’m a bull bull. i’m so fucking annoyed oh m y go d

SCORPION TIGER I WIN MUTHAFUCKAS PINCH PINCH STAB STAB

goat goat

bunny scorpion. Sick

t

twin horse...

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

OP there is an entire Broadway musical explaining why you don’t want that

THE GIRLS CALL ME BANJO KAZOOIE THE WAY I NEVER STAY FOR BREAKFAST I JUST NUTS AND BOLTS!!!

THE GIRLS CALL M,E BANJO KAZOOIE COS IM IN BED GOING oh eh uh eh ah ooh eh ee ah ooh uh eh

girls call me banjo kazooie the way they compplain about me in rhyming couplets

Girls can me banjo kazooie cause im fucking good

Reblog to have the most homoerotic year of your life 2024

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.

straight? gay? pan? no no no, my sexuality is emily blunt's performance as tempest shadow in the 2017 my little pony movie

my sexuality is the way the wings of lotor's ship rotate in the netflix reboot of voltron

my sexuality is shadow the hedgehog roundhouse kicking people in the head at every available opportunity

rivals by fate frenemies by choice

This man can't be fixed. I can fuck him though. Maybe that will calm him down.