The GOP debate, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter

He tripped out

She literally said something in feline. She had to have

This certainly got my cats’ attention.

it looks so betrayed “i thought we were friends human”

She really must say something crazy, cause my two kitties came running towards my notebook and were searching for the source crazily.

Oh my god, I played this video and my cat looked at me SO FUCKING SHOCKED AND HE IS STILL STARING AT ME LIKE I SAID SOMETHING OFFENSIVE

LISTEN UP YALLS

•If you say “meh” high pitched it would mean “help”. Kittens use it a lot to get their mother’s attention before they open their eyes.

•If you do a tongue roll with a sharp “reah” at the end it would mean “come here”. My sister and I use it to call upon stray cats.

•body language is hard to describe. You usually need a tired and relaxed look to seem calm and purrsuasive (lol).

•tongue rolls with a slightly closed mouth can resemble purring in a way that helps attract cats.

•what the person used, or said, was a “help” and “I love you”. The cats body language dictates that it is surprised that a human could use this ability.

•we can’t fully communicate without tails and whiskers.

GO SAVE CATS NOW

Today I fucked up...by trusting a “hot local single in my area” on a dating app

Greatest/worst thing ever just happened to me, so buckle up folks..it’s story time:

Girl on a dating app tells me in the first few messages that I’m really cute (true) and interesting (also true) and asks me to meet her at 1140am for coffee at a random McDonald’s. When I ask if she’s a 45 year old man trying to harvest my organs, she proceeds to send me 15 pictures in a row that look like they’re straight from Facebook. Because that’s how you convince somebody you’re real (not true).

Now normally I don’t accept propositions like this because I’m thinking “what’s the catch?” Well, I decide to live a little on the YOLO side…and since it’s right next to a Subway Sandwich shop I think that the worst that could happen is it’s a 45 year old lonely man, I give him a big hug because I know the feeling as a 25 year old lonely man, get a tasty sandwich, then go home. Apparently that was NOT the worst thing that could happen.

I show up. She shows up. She’s real. I’m surprised. I buy her coffee because I subscribe to traditional gender roles unless requested otherwise. She uses her McCafe frequent buyers card so she gets stamps. Its cute. While the guy is making her drink, she tells me to go find a table outside in the sun. I go outside and find the perfect goddamn table because I’m a romantic at heart. 5 minutes later. 10 minutes later. 15 minutes later. No girl. I text her the typical guy message “lol u get lost???”. No response. Turns out she took the coffee and left.

So I’m not saying it’s bad to leave a date if you feel uncomfortable or aren’t attracted to them. It’s totally your decision. But I don’t think that’s the case…I think this girl is a serial McCafe dater. And I don’t think this was her first time. It was too professional. Too clean. It was the perfect McHeist. And I’m starting to think I’m not even mad…she didn’t steal my credit card, or my organs. Just a few euros.

And my heart.

you mcfreakin lost her

LOLOL

(photos via recklessjay)

growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money

it would be fucked up if sex were real

wtf are you talking about

i was just saying that like if sex were real that would be fucked up

chill it’s cos your rare

the entire female population of east asia is rare?

homie ur about to be cooked medium rare and sacrificed

Omg

It got better

I left the library at 6am and have no memory of making this video and I don’t understand it but this is why you don’t pull all-nighters kids

College kids be like

Native American Saying (via psych-facts)

Destroy the idea that trans boys must have short hair

Destroy the idea that non-binary/agender people must have short hair

Destroy the idea that the length of someone’s hair defines their gender

There is real evil in this world, you can’t legislate it away, you can’t ignore it away, and you can’t wish it away, evil is evil and the only thing evil understands is good people with the means to eradicate its very existence. This is f***ing despicable.

Dear Cis People:

I don’t give a fuck if I “look so good as girl”. I’d look better not loathing my body and having panic attacks in public because of being misgendered.

Gay Person: I’m gay

Straight Person: I don’t care as long as you don’t hit on me [forced laughter]

Gay Person: Don’t worry about that, you’re not really my type anyway.

Straight Person:

Straight Person:

Straight Person: wat the fcuk did u just say

To all the straight people reblogging/laughing at this: this actually happens, word for word.

hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to apologize to every single person ive talked to like im really sorry