I mostly don't sleep well, or easily. I spend a lot of my nights staring at my bedroom ceiling. There's a shadow on my ceiling, an elongated shape with a rounded end. In the daytime I don't know what casts it, but when the streetlight goes out around 2, I can see it clearly. My eyes are so tired that if I focus in on it, the edges seem ill-defined, like a charcoal sketch under a zoom lens. Continued observation makes it seem to swirl about within its borders. All of this is well and good, but it's only there some nights, not all.
The Signs as @_FloridaMan Tweets
Taurus: Florida Man Assaulted Girlfriend With Banana Because She Refused to Help Him Detoxify His Urine
Hey all, sorry ive been awol. Broken phone, broken laptop. Just so's ya know.
This is meathead. he’s disgusting and we love him.
“Hi, am I on the air?”…
ok i know the IM symbol is supposed to look like a speech bubble but i’m choosing to believe he’s a lil ghost baby
Ye babby dorve Margaret with a harvest bounty of millet! (Plz do not make fun of her scruffy appearance she is molting and very sensitive about it)
MARGERYT nay makea funs NOP she a tiny beauty light blub and I love!
Things I'm good at:
1. Trying to open the car door right as someone unlocks it causing them to have to lock it then unlock it again
2. Doing it a second time
I love when court cases are called things like person vs. state because I like to imagine a single person fighting a whole state on their own out of sheer rage
United States v. Article Consisting of 50,000 Cardboard Boxes More or Less, Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls United States v. One Tyrannosaurus Bataar Skeleton United States v. One Book Called Ulysses United States v. $124,700 in U.S. Currency United States v. 11 ¼ Dozen Packages of Articles Labeled in Part Mrs. Moffat’s Shoo-Fly Powders for Drunkenness
Y'all I'm so lonely
Now I understand why everyone is so up in arms about Starbucks
Why does this Hostess Zinger look exactly like Donald Trump
beep beep
how this cat go beep beep?
He did not even flinch