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i’m going to be better. for myself.

@queerbitchdiaz-archived / queerbitchdiaz-archived.tumblr.com

Nie. 22. she/her. lesbian. buried in coursework and hyperfixations. currently buddie and the rest of the weewoo show.
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bogleech

The entire population of Sweden getting collectively called out on twitter is funny as hell so far because every single tweet by a Swedish person is either like “first of all being racist is my cultural heritage…” or it’s “god, finally, I’ve been trying to tell everyone for years that my country is full of assholes”

Oh I guess this didn’t spill over enough to tumblr so this is what happened:

  • There was a twitter thread asking people about their weirdest encounters with someone else’s cultural practices.
  • Someone said that when they were just a child, they visited with a Swedish family who made them stay in another room while they ate meals and didn’t offer them any food or snacks.
  • This picked up lots of responses like “wait, what? That happened to me too but I just thought this one family were freaks???”
  • I don’t need to tell most people why most reactions to this were positively aghast that anyone anywhere expects guests to either bring their own food or just suffer.
  • The thread truly exploded only when some Swedes not only admitted to it but got defensive about it, calling it selfish and childish to expect food as a guest. Yes even from personal friends and yes even as children, because you should apparently actually be grateful enough that you’re even allowed in someone else’s home at all.
  • Other Swedish citizens chimed in to say they feel like they’re in the minority for having any concept of sharing or giving in general and that their other Swedish friends keep track of every cent they owe them for every little thing.
  • Immigrant and racial minority Swedes began to add that the whole “be grateful you’re even allowed here” attitude is how they’re treated everywhere they go just for existing.
  • From there, a whole lot of discussion, again mostly from people living there, about how Sweden has a cutesy, harmless image to most of the world only because its leadership and media work so hard to downplay its true prevalence of active white supremacy and hardcore nationalism.
  • “#swedengate” starts trending.
  • Sweden is being cancelled like it’s a celebrity and every Swede who gets upset about it just immediately demonstrates exactly what was being criticized in the first place:

Actually this part in itself is not funny at all. It’s just funny how many of them had to lock or delete their accounts like they genuinely thought these were normal things to say.

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rereading my own writing is just a constant fluctuation between "damn, girl, you wrote this? (affectionate)" and "damn, girl, you wrote this? (derogatory)"

I am also “damn, girl, you wrote this? (forgetful)”

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maygrcnt

why do queer people have to justify shipping gay relationships? always having to lay out the proof that two characters have a close relationship, why does it matter? why are queer people not allowed to just ship two boys or two girls and have fun with it. why must it always be backed up with proof and thousands of words of analysis on why we aren’t delusional. why do straight ships get praised for existing while queer ships must prove their validity every single day.

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American Domestic Violence Hotlines

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pride is almost upon us, so I thought I’d send out a couple of reminders:

  • identity is complicated. 99.999% of the time, the right thing to do is to trust other people when it comes to what label is right for them
  • disabled people can be just as sure about their identity as abled people. trust disabled people when they say they’re queer
  • nobody is ever too old or too young to come out
  • nobody should ever pressure anybody else to come out. being closeted is not the same as lying
  • pride was started by the same kinds of people who are often rejected, even from the queer community. pride is about remembering them, not about shaming people for being “too much” or “too queer”

happy pride, everyone! stay safe out there!

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spaceeoddity

As a verdict is possibly hours away, a sense of dread has been building in my stomach for what it will mean for Amber’s future, as well as all victims of intimate partner violence (IPV), particularly as women’s basic rights continue to be under attack in the United States. Like many people who are following the case, I have personal experiences with abuse. Much of my research focuses on IPV, specifically, the disparities in resources and services that are available for survivors to leave their abusers, such as economic, social, geographical barriers. It’s a topic which is deeply tied to my own personal experiences and academic career.

I initially was ambivalent to Amber Heard. Before I began to research the case, I was firmly in the “they both suck” camp, having only briefly glanced through articles. I started to pay more attention to the media coverage over the past six weeks and was really staggered by how Heard was being portrayed as a lying, crazy, gold-digging woman through narratives that were not only going unchallenged, but were heavily perpetuated in the public discourse. Even worse, that the abuse she experienced had been capitalized on by “true crime” junkies and mocked in TikTok videos and Youtube compilations. So I began watching the trial live and found that there was far more evidence and far more substantial evidence which shows that JD was the perpetrator of abuse within their relationship.

The evidence collected through JD’s personal texts and emails show an early pattern of abuse. He exerted control over the clothes Amber wore and would become angry when she didn’t dress “conservatively”. He would consistently accuse her of having affairs with acquaintances, friends, and various co-stars, even with an openly gay director, Clive Barker. He didn’t like that she was ambitious and would scorn her when she took opportunities to advance her career. He would constantly refer to her with misogynistic language. He also referred to Amber, an openly bisexual woman, as a lesbian camp counsellor”. He messaged other men to discuss killing her through drowning and burning her, and then raping her burnt corpse to prove that she was truly dead. This all occurred while they were still dating. She was in her early 20s and he was in 50s. All of these coercive, paranoid, jealous, controlling behaviours are deeply and unequivocally abusive.

None of this includes the evidence which shows physical and sexual abuse. There are audio tapes in which he admits to headbutting her, so hard that she was concerned her nose was broken. In another recording, they discuss how her family and friends have seen her bruises, broken blood vessels, and bald spots from her hair being torn out of her scalp. In another one, she screams “stop hitting me!” Another shows him stating “I will smack the ugly c**t before I let her in.” A video shows him aggressively breaking and smashing furniture near her. One interaction reveals that Stephen Deuters, his assistant, begged her to come back to him after her assaulted her on a plane in front of his bodyguards, pleading to her that JD was remorseful for his actions. Heard also has stated he sexually assaulted her multiple times. Remember, he previously discussed violently raping her in those infamous messages to Paul Bettany.

As for witnesses, several testified to seeing bruises on her numerous times, including JD’s witnesses, such as their marriage counsellor. A makeup artist, Melanie Inglessis, testified to covering swelling on her lip and two black eyes. Raquel Pennington saw several injuries, including bloodied bald spots on her head, a swollen nose, and cut lip. She expressed fear JD would eventually kill Amber if she didn’t leave. Josh Drew also testified to seeing her with injuries, including black eyes, a swollen cheek, and a busted lip. iO Tillet Wright (who Depp misgenders throughout his testimony) recalled hearing JD assault Amber and scream “oh, you think I hit you? You think I fucking hit you? What if I peel your fucking hair back. iO then called 911. This was the incident which led Heard to file for a divorce and a restraining order, two days afterwards. It is worth noting that Pennington, Drew, and Wright all corroborated this incident in their depositions, as did iO’s 2016 essay.

Is she guilty of fighting back? Absolutely. She never lied about doing so, even dating back to her 2016 deposition. However, fighting back against a man who has beaten you, sexually assaulted you, controlled your career, finances, and who you can associate with does not equate to being an abuser. It’s simply surviving. And yes, I’ve heard those audio tapes, the in which she’s expresses her incredulity at him for stating their fights were fair when she feared he would kill her.

His case has relied upon deeply misogynistic narratives to discredit both her claims and her character. She was after his money all along, even though she refused the 30 million dollar fortune she was legally entitled to, as there was no prenup. She painted on bruises, even though a makeup artist testified to covering up her swollen lip and two black eyes. She cut off his finger, even though multiple texts and even an audio recording showcase him admitting to doing it in the midst of a bender. She didn’t donate her money, even though she and the organization created a 10 year plan for her to make yearly payments (in my personal opinion, what she does with her money either way is nobody’s fucking business). Also worth noting, an ACLU representative testified to her being ahead of schedule until Depp began suing her. She made up a hoax, because she documented her abuse - as we advise all people who are in abusive situations to do. She’s a liar, because women are inherently deceitful liars.

None of the evidence that JD’s attorneys presented has proven that she defamed him through her op-ed piece. That’s likely because their goal was never to prove that her article - which never explicitly references him or their relationship - impacted his career. Those who watched the trial will know, Tracy Jacobs, his agent of 30 years stated that it was his drug and alcohol abuse, anger issues, chronic lateness (7 or 8 hours late to set each day), and unprofessionalism that led to his career decline. Film crews grew tired of working around these problems, and eventually, so did Hollywood. Tina Newman, a Disney Corporate Representative who worked on POTC stated no one knew of Amber’s op-ed until Depp sued her. 

The trial was always meant to humiliate, shame, and terrorize her. We are witnessing in a powerful man terrorize his ex-wife through the legal system, all while the world makes TikToks of her sexual assault testimony. JD has a documented history of violence and is due for another court date after assaulting a crew member of the set of City of Lies. To quote his own words, “If I’m angry and I’ve got to lash out or hit somebody, I’m going to do it and I don’t care what the repercussions are. Anger doesn’t pay rent, it’s gotta go. It’s gotta be evicted.”

I don’t know whether Amber Heard will win her case. We’re witnessing a radical right-wing political swing to control and criminalize women’s bodies with Roe v. Wade under attack right now. To be blunt, I have very little faith in the justice system and that a jury - in Virginia of all places - will rule in favour of an abused woman over her charismatic, powerful ex-husband. However, I think it’s important to remember that Amber did everything right, that is, everything we tell women to do. She documented her abuse, left her abusive partner, and was granted a restraining order - and she’s continuing to be punished for doing so. If Amber, a privileged white woman with access to economic resources, is still struggling to escape her abuser, how can we expect women without those privileges to?

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dykefaggotry

honest to god can't stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it's such a good example of politically driven folk music.

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kaizykat

Lyrics:

Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, "I can give you anything you ask" "You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It's unlimited, just set me to the task."

Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, "I want houses, "I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start."

Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered 'round To admire the man whose wishes had come true

They said, "Let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he's been set so far apart." "Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff who has everything! 'Cause his wishes are only at the start."

Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, "Everybody's getting in my way." The genie smiled as before, "You've got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away."

Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet 'Til he finally said, "I have just one wish more." "I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore."

Well, the genie's eyes got big and sad and shiny 'Til she finally said, "Your wish is my command." And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again

So, let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff, who's got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart

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wordsmithic
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