im going to start compiling all the shitty booktok videos i find except theyre on reels bc i suck

Why did they get put in the Panopticon

thought that was the funniest way to point them out

you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

happy birthday to weed

Remember, if you haven't felt the first edible in 5-10 minutes eat two or three more

op tryna make bees come outta ppls bones

Thank you for appreciating my image cropping

little german boy revisits the cave of blüntsmoken! Happy 4/20 ;)

Alien Covenant (behind the scenes)

She should be at the club

literally my favorite type of tweet

oh my god i have some of these saved 1 sec

he's on Tumblr!

@jayeazywhat

Hey My Fans Gave Me The F Word Pass Bit I Don’t Use It Lmaoo They Forgave Me For This And My Biggest Fan Was The Person I Tagged Wolfie Is The Goat There’s No Hate ❤️‍🔥

How’s it feel to be the funniest person on tumblr?

this mans enthisiasm and zest for life are both contagious and exemplary. keep it up king

"adults trying to stay "hip" and keep up with youth culture and being years late is so cringey"

adult secret: its all intentional. nothing will prepare you for how fun it is to watch a teenagers face as you dab at them. i will floss when they least expect it and I will love every second of their horror.

fond memories of how one my shipmates would very earnestly ask the youngest deckhand ‘was that yeet? was that a yeet?” every time he tossed docklines

Me, flossing terribly: Am I doing it?

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

behold, the default object!

basically the whole bible happens to me daily

Source

Source

That last fucking sentence.

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

It is really cool to look back on how young they are, though. It puts so much new context on the trials they endured and responsibilities they shouldered. I can appreciate how much they took on willingly and how much was forced onto them so much better now that I realize how young they were - and that feeling grows as I do. :)

he's built like an unsecured ikea bookshelf and brother, am i a toddler

is it too much to ask for

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.