Things that work in fiction but not real life

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

HE'S BACK, BABY

EA-NASIR IS HERE FOR US, RIPPING OFF CAPITALISTS

AS PER MY LAST TABLET

Ea-nasir coming to be regarded as the new god of amusingly dishonest business practices is such a glorious illustration of human nature. I love it!

Tumblr Code.

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is horrifying weapon attack

The response will be collapsing into a bloody heap!

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one fells me with a single wicked blow now!

in such a beautiful and diverse world i'm so glad to see that one thing stands true across all cultures no matter the time period: getting really fucking worked up about sports

Ancient Scroll Shows Jews Tried to Hex Chariot Races in Turkey 1,500 Years Ago - Archaeology - Haaretz.com

Here's the article. I love ancient curse tablets.

And these tags:

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.

Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.

wow. really hope this isn't actually a norm taking hold with new users! this isn't facebook, you don't need to know people before following them

Follow anyone you think is neat, that's what the function is for. You're not like sitting in their house raiding their fridge, you're listening to them yell out of the window

I think the reason a lot of leftists struggle with disability justice is that they haven't moved past the concept that discrimination isn't bad because it's objectively "wrong." yes, sexists are objectively wrong when they try to claim women are dumber than men. yes, antisemites are objectively wrong that jewish people are inherently greedy and run the state. yes, racists are wrong when they try to claim that white people are the superior race. and so on.

but then with disabled people, there are a lot of objective truths to the discrimination we face. people with IDs/LDs do fall behind and struggle with certain concepts. physically disabled people are often weaker and less capable of performing demanding tasks than able bodied people. many of us with mental illnesses are more reckless and less responsible. a lot of us are dependent on others and do not contribute much "worth".

and guess what? disabled people still deserve a place in the world. disabled people still deserve the supports they need. because they are people, and that should be enough to support them and believe they deserve a place at the table.

if your only rebuttal against discrimination is its objective inaccuracies, you are meeting bigots where they are at. you are validating the very concept that if and when people are truly incapable of being equal to the majority, that means they are worth less. this causes some leftists to then try to deny the objective realities of disabled people and/or become ableist themselves.

your rallying behind marginalized groups should start and end with the fact that people are completely worthy of life and equity, because they are fellow human beings and that should, frankly, be enough.

“When white women are confronted with the possibility they can be perpetrators, and not only victims, of oppressive actions and they burst out crying, antiracist work grinds to a halt. A white woman sobs, and the room falls to her feet. These tears seemingly perform a self-baptism. They cleanse the sufferer of any past wrongs and invest her with a martyred authority flowing from the realm of allegedly indisputable truth: her own hurt feelings. Some of the sanctifying innocence widely afforded to white women when they cry can be traced back to an original wellspring: the inkpot of Harriet Beecher Stowe.

-Kyla Schuller, The Trouble with White Women

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

I actually think about this so much you have no idea.

I mourn every friend that's gone off somewhere

I actually

think about this so much you

have no idea.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

This is so wholesome

Update: he finally got the cat to the vet to see if she had a microchip

I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is

https://twitter.com/pariszarcilla?lang=en heres his twitter is here there is also additonal cat photos of his children. 

CAT DAD IS BACK

aww, the kids grow up so fast. ;-;

HHHHHHHH I LOVE CAT DAD!

This is, by far, the single most adorable fucking thing I have ever seen. 

update:

I love that he kept …. All of them.

I’ve reblogged the earlier part of this thread before, and the new stuff makes it even better.

This is the Tumblr equivalent of a warm hug on a cold day.

You’re welcome.

I remember this thread, but I never saw the grown-up pics ❤

@every-n-anything

All hail Catdad

I saw Catdad for the first time today, and my day instantly became exponentially better.

I’M CRYING!?

CATDAD HAS REVIVED MY WILL TO LIVE

I live for cat dad-

Cat dad has saved us all

CAT DAD!!

I had not seen the updates. I am so happy that the Cat Gods smiled upon this person and their new family :)

He’s got more recent pictures (and is also an INCREDIBLE artist), but this is the fam circa May 2020 :>

It’s been over a year? Where is cat dad? Where is he?

Fear not, CatDad is still happily with us:

Cat Dad 2022 pic.

It’s been far too long since I saw these guys. “Heartwarming” doesn’t begin to touch it. :)

*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

*the orange grows legs and skitters away*

Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*

*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*

“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*

Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.

The only valid response to this post.

We’re working up the complexity levels of fruit until we feel there is enough evidence to support the judicious placement of a volunteer twink

You sit down, we haven’t seen what’s happened to the pineapple

#this is tumblr we’ve all seen what’s happened to the pineapple

tags via @sylveondreams

The End Hedge Fund Control of American Homes Act would mandate that hedge funds, defined as corporations, partnerships or REITs that manage pooled funds for investors, to sell off all single-family homes over a ten-year-period, and eventually prevent them from holding those properties completely.

Once while I was at work a grown ass man told me "no matter how tough you act you'll never be a man, just like I'll never be a woman" and I know he MEANT like "I'm tougher than you because women are weak" but I heard it in Queer and went "Oh.... sweetheart" and he just completely recoiled it was insane

It was just the most out of pocket misogyny I've ever received, like why would he have said that

"You're a woman": Would be meaner if I wasn't in girl mode but okay good start

"Women are lesser": Heard it before, what else

"You'll never be a man": Bit weird but it tracks

"Just like I'll never be a woman": .... Why do I suddenly feel bad for you. Like you suck hot shit but I wanna give you a pep talk. You know you don't have to be a man if you don't want to be, right? I'm still kicking you out of this store, though. What the fuck is going on

You were the caretaker for the mythical beasts of the royal family. Yesterday they decided to replace you with some incompetent noble, before kicking you out of the castle. You then spent the night in a nearby forest. However today you were awakened by the beasts who chose to follow you.

I’m not good with people.

I never have been. I’ve tried, but I’ve never been good with people. I’m always saying the wrong thing, and usually I don’t know what the wrong thing was until a lot later, until I’m thinking about what I said. In the town I grew up in, I was known for being simple.

I don’t think I am, but I understand why they think that- I’m not good at making the words in my head match the words I say.

But I am good with animals. Always have been. Lots of people are, I’m not special, or anything. Mam taught me.

Animals speak their own language, and it’s a lot simpler to figure out. They’re not people, they don’t understand us. A lot of people who are bad at animals expect that. They think an animal should understand them perfectly. They think animals have human impulses, human urges, a human understanding of the world.

And they don’t.

people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good

it’s not about actually being gifted, it’s about an initial higher scoring on standardized testing that means little to nothing or being good at learning in the way elementary and middle school wants you to, so you get marked as ‘advanced’. in reality, maybe you had faster development in certain areas, but the issue with being a gifted kid isn’t that “everyone told me I was so cool and special for reading and then I actually wasn’t :(” it’s “I wasn’t properly taught to handle things not coming easily to me, but the adults around me were counting on me not being a ‘difficult’ child in school.”

people who use it as some weird bragging method or interpret it that way are ignoring the way a lot of school systems force certain roles on students to simplify the learning process. If your kid doesn’t need to take notes to understand a science concept bc they get it naturally, well that’s good, but now you’re not teaching them how to take notes and they’re not learning that important soft skill. but because ‘gifted’ kids are easy and don’t show that they’re falling behind in learning in other categories that are harder to quantify, they eventually fall behind after that catches up to them. It’s about the failures of a one size fits all school system trying to compensate in the worst way possible.

And also the thing where ‘gifted’ kids are super likely to also be neuroatypical, which they don’t get screened for because they appear to be doing well in school. Or “You can’t be ADHD/autistic/etc, because you’re doing so well in school!”. Or being shamed for developing mental health issues/generally not being able to keep up with school work later, because you USED TO BE able to do it just fine.

Or the assumption that just because you can read well or you like math class, you’re somehow more EMOTIONALLY mature than your little kid brain is actually capable of being.

Or gifted kids whose parents and teachers put immense pressure on them to Do Great Things and Save The World and you’re like. “I’m 10 and I have no idea how to do that, but everyone is saying that’s my job?”.

This is the best “gifted kid” post out there. I never took notes until college because I didn’t have to, snd when it got challenging I had to literally teach myself note taking at age 18. It also fucks with your perception of asking for help - you’re advanced, you’re competent, you should be able to understand every topic easily. Asking for help/going to office hours/asking for a tutor feels like failing when you were praised in your early years for not needing to do that.

Not sure about anyone else but I re-read all my favourite AO3 comments when I’ve had a rough day so if you’ve ever taken the time to write a deep, funny, or just kind comment, thank-you.

This also goes for Tumblr ,reblogs, comments, and tags.