:^)

I think being a shapeshifter would fix me

flat fuck friday

you know what day it is

queued this because I did NOT want to miss another Flat Fuck Friday

Can you imagine suing Boeing and coming home to find Boeing's faulty plane parts washed up in your backyard?

this is like a haunting modern art piece to me

The remake reboot prequel sequel industrial complex is killing me but the good thing is I don't have to watch any of that. I can just think "that sounds boring or otherwise doesn't interest me in any way" and do something other than watch it

"They're making a willy wonka origin story with timothee chalamet," you might say to me. "They're doing a live action the last airbender again, didn't you love avatar?" I don't find it necessary. This is nothing to me

#my ability to not watch something is unparalleled

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

Go a little fart

be ded

Me & the other drivers were really impressed when you swerved around all of us at high speeds & got to the red light before anyone else

A general reminder—periodic cicadas pose no threat to anyone and their plant damage is limited to nipping off the ends of twigs. Please do not hose them with pesticide. They are slow and clumsy and confused and only want to make friends with other cicadas and eventually die of sexual exhaustion.

Yes, the screaming is a lot, but they’ve been extremely quiet neighbors for thirteen years, cut them some slack as they go through the most fraught time of their lives.

please stop destroying my horny mutuals blogs youre killing the ecosystem

Today's Seal Is: Unlimited Scraggliness