❁ k i t t e n. ❁

That feeling when your body is requesting something but you're not sure what so you just start eating and drinking random stuff to try and figure it out

Me, eating a chocolate waffle at 7pm: Is this what you desire, oh prison of flesh?

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

you can literally say anything to men, it doesn’t matter

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

i made this post because i've got so many friends that think saying something wrong in a conversation is the end of the world. it isn't. you'll be okay. you don't have to be embarrassed about every little thing. you are alive and doing things and speaking to people. you will make mistakes and you will live.

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

new contender for best community note of all time

lotion is a substance that exists to make your skin not feel gross and dry by making your skin feel gross and wet <3

My cats, one of whom would kill a man for a few shreds of cheese, have memorized what food preparation steps usually lead to cheese being provided to them as a little treat. Tortillas? Probably gonna lead to cheese. Sandwiches? Probably gonna lead to cheese. Pasta? 50/50 chance of cheese.

Problem is, if I then make a version of a normally-produces-cheese-treats food, but I am not using cheese in that particular version of said food, I get loudly and extensively scolded.

Made pork and poblano tacos for the week and oh boy are the cats mad. Tortillas involved but no cheese? How dare I??? HOW DARE??!?

OP: There isn't any cheese this time babies?!

OP's Cats:

More accurately, the gray one wanted the cheese (and always wants the cheese), and the black one doesn't particularly like cheese but LOATHES her sister being given anything she is not also given. 😂

Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, how did you did that.

kill me three times, this time loop fucking sucks

learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally

it feels fake but your friends miss you sometimes

the reason you've been hanging out with your closest friends fairly regularly for the past 12+ years is because you have fun together

people who don't like you that much will not stay in your life for over a decade asking to hang out and inviting you to things and texting you

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins