- say the word and i’m already there

ALEXANDER SAGE OYEN January 19, 2013 at 54 Below

female awesome meme ♡ 20/20 ladies in a book allison reynolds (all for the game, nora sakavic)

• the key is in the ignition and no one gave you permission.
• i’m the girl who drove away.
• the line between the dream and you starts to blur.
• “my car.” “yeah.”
• what? you think it’s gonna bite?
• kelly and i… we were… 
• she believed in listening to the highway.
• “talk about what it felt like!” “what did it feel like?” “you remember.”
• tear up the atlas; don’t read the road signs.
• no college, no career, no screaming kids, no mortgage!
• there’s something buried within here, a lesson to keep. the impulse, the life-force, the diving in deep. i feel it, the chaos, i usually flee, if i hold on right here could i learn to just be?
• don’t talk about it. live it. don’t feel the loss of it, feel… it.
• trees blurring into nothing and i am nothing and… she is nothing.
• the leaves start to turn, it’s fall now.
• am i that girl anymore? that ordinary girl that i was before?
• and all at once i feel alive!
• “are you ready for the highway?” “yes!”
• not ready to face your demons?
• i didn’t stop to memorize the details. i didn’t know how much the night would matter.
• and it was april and chilly, or late march and warm.
• all alone, was i lost, or was i alive?
• no anchor, abandoned, i waited…
• don’t ask if you can, no, that’s the mistake girls make!
• cause those good old boys, they had their good old days! but now they’re gone, and their world is ours to take!
• we’re mad to go, mad to drive, mad to be alive.
• we’re chasing stars, a thousand suns.
• “stop saying can’t!” “stop telling me what to do!”
• but we didn’t go, didn’t go that night. did we?
• oh, but who let down who?
• if we’d only gone that night, then i wouldn’t be dead!
• now make that boy a lonely girl, and tell me she’s the same.
• the boy you call a rebel, the girl she’s running scared. cause any girl who’s on her own is out there unprepared.
• the game has been rigged, but i learned to play. 
• i’m not the enemy, i paved the way. i stood in my own mother’s kitchen! the door slammed behind me! i blink and i’m you again.
• freedom…
• a lone boy on the highway, you think that could be me. but you were born a woman and you’ll never be that free.
• but when a woman breaks the rules, the world’s not on her side.
• the wheels of change… they move so goddamn slow.
• but if i don’t pick up the phone, it’s sort of like it never happened.
• “i’m alive!” “you’re alive!”
• in our plain, dull, normal, good, simple, nothing-much, beautiful, ordinary… ordinary senior year.
• we say goodbye to high school, and face the world. though we don’t know what we’ll see there, we know that we’ll be there. together.
• if we’re gonna go, we gotta go tonight…
• she was sitting on the roof of her beat-up car. half singing, half laughing, half going too far.
• in the remix of memories, the loop of the… drum… or baseline… or was it… ?
• she was everything i’m not, my whole universe.
• without her there pushing, somehow i can’t move.
• so i sit in the car that she left behind.
• it’s too late and it’s just getting later.
• why did i say no?
• we had miles to go!
• you were mad to reach, mad to drive, mad, mad, and so alive.
• i reach, reach, but you’re not there!
• every word you said hangs like an unfinished rhyme.
• i unravel until i remember sitting on the roof of your beat-up car. when i was your orbit and you were my star.
• only if she hears him coming. only if she slows down just enough to look up. it takes two seconds.
• nothing woke me up. nothing moved me. except one thing. it was yesterday.
• don’t think. don’t swerve. don’t stop. drive.
• “kelly, stop.”
• “i can free you. i can make you feel alive.” “i can do it on my own!”
• maybe not today, maybe tomorrow. maybe…
• it’s as simple as that!
• what do i want? what do i need? it doesn’t matter if it’s a mistake. it doesn’t matter if i fail. i have to think big. i have to take control. even if i disappoint everyone, even if no one ever speaks to me again. i have to feel… something.
• i never dreamed of running away. but i do dream about the highway.
• i can’t stop til i feel alive again.
• and i wish i could say that you’re with me… but i know i’m alone.
• you’re scared. you should be. if you’re not, you’re not doing it right.
• you do it now, you do it for you, and you do it alone.
• you take the risk, you pay the cost, you drive… until you’re lost.
• “what did i always tell you?” “i don’t remember.” “yeah, you do.” “maps are for braindeads.” “that’s right.”
• sometimes you don’t get to say goodbye.
• “now that i’m gone…” “i’m moving on.”
• remember what you’ve learned and what you still don’t know!
• your hand might shake as the ignition lights.
• remember… freedom.