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ExPlain the Awkward

@hidebehindthemonitor / hidebehindthemonitor.tumblr.com

All for a little INSPIRATION.
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I know it's late, and I should have posted this yesterday, but the computer this was being done on seriously crapped out on us! ANYWAY! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY @nightingalemillo ! I HOPE YOU ARE AWARE OF HOW MUCH YOU DOOFUS HUSBAND LOVES YOU!😍😁😚😙🙌❤

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i fucking hate dating nerds one single time i wore a star wars shirt to see a dude and he was like, “wow are u wearing that to impress me” and i said, “star wars episode 4 was seen by approximately 110 million people during its initial theatrical run in 1977”

Congratulations. You’re dating people who for the longest time have been putting up with bullying, mocking, and scorn for most of their lives. That kind of shit stays with people. So imagine their surprise when they see a member of the opposite sex, who I’m assuming is really attractive in comparison to most people, wear attire that reps nerd culture. Which even though is accepted by the masses (if you’re reasonably attractive) is still rare. Now I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to be scornful I’m just saying expect it and don’t be surprised when you hear it. Ok? OK.

why i dont date fucking nerds: exhibit B

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stele3

Bolded emphasis mine. Gross.

Stands on nearest chair: ATTENTION MALE NERDS. YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM A SHORTAGE OF FEMALE NERDS. THERE ARE VAST NUMBERS OF US, AND WE RARELY HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING EACH OTHER. YOU ARE WITHOUT FEMALE COMPANY BECAUSE YOU ARE WHINEY ASSBABIES WHO THINK YOU OWN THINGS BECAUSE YOU LIKE THEM, AND BECAUSE YOU SOMEHOW THINK YOU SUFFER BULLYING WHEREAS GIRL NERDS SOMEHOW NEVER DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU GET TO BE ASSHOLES BECAUSE YOU HAVE A “TRAGIC PAST” OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE. IF YOU THINK GIRL NERDS DON’T GET BULLIED IT’S LIKELY BECAUSE THOSE GIRLS DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BECAUSE OF THIS SORT OF ATTITUDE.

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wizardshark

also: fucking no one mocks nerds anymore. Game of thrones is the most watched show on tv, everyone and their mom is playing video games, dungeons and dragons is more popular than it’s ever been.

To conclude

i’m obligated to reblog the Critical Whale

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peashooter85

Who would you chose for a family baby sitter?

Megan

—Honor roll student

— 2 years babysitting and childcare experience

— 1st chair clarinet player

— Wants to go to college to be a pediatrician

Sandy

—Star high school Athlete

—Plays Volleyball and Basketball

—Recommended by neighbors

—Gold Award Girl Scout

Rasputin

—Claims to be able to heal diseases and predict the future with magic powers.

— Immune to poison and resistant to bullets

— Favorite pastimes include orgies and alcoholism

— Might have sex with your wife

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