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now is the time when i must try hard

@brumalbreeze / brumalbreeze.tumblr.com

I cry easily and my special skill is napping.
Sometimes I draw and write. I'm also on Twitter and AO3.
(She/Her)
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closet-keys

My brother was diagnosed with depression years before I was, and because of that he started therapy years before I did.

I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”

He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral

And even though that was years and years ago, I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m reading discourse on the idea of getting so attached to mental illness as an identity that you don’t want to improve things because you feel safe in it and don’t know who you are without it

I always think of that line “I miss the comfort of being sad” and my brother’s warning

Omg….

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algidwind

Q :極清光x安定と清光x極安定、どっちは大変ですね〜? それとも極清光x極安定? 審 :うちの二振りはもう修行に行って帰ったから、本当にめんどくさいです。

Q: Between Kiwame!Kiyomitsu/Yasusada and Kiyomitsu/Kiwame!Yasusada,  which is more troublesome? Or is Kiwame!Kiyomitsu/Kiwame!Yasusada the hardest to deal with? S: They’ve both gone through their kiwame training already, so both of them are a real handful.

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algidwind

Q: 安定を誰かが好きになっちゃったで、清光はどうするの? K: 「殺す」とか言わせたかったんだろ?悪いけどあいつ、俺に夢中だから他のやつを好きになるなんてありえない…

Q: What would Kiyomitsu do if Yasusada fell in love with someone else? K: “Kill them,” is what you wanted me to say, right? Sorry to break it to you, but that guy’s head over heels with me, so that won’t happen.

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algidwind

Q:清光て、安定の何かが好きですか? 清:まぁ、瞳が綺麗だし、ホクロが魅力的で、笑顔も結構可愛いね。大食いだけど、食べるときの顔は可愛いから許す。ドジっ子だけど、それもあいつのチャームポイントの一つかな。頑固で短気だと言っても真面目に頑張ってるから、それも好き。戦いに夢中になったらめんどくさいけど、それ以外は大丈夫って感じかな?あんなになっても、根は思いやりのある、優しいやつなんだ。簡単に纏めたら、あいつの「全部」が好き…

かな?(笑)

Q: Kiyomitsu, what do you like about Yasusada?

K: Well, his eyes are nice, his beauty mark is charming, and his smile is pretty cute. He’s a glutton, but his face is adorable when he eats, so I’ll let that slide. He’s clumsy, but I guess that’s another thing that makes him cute. He's stubborn and short-tempered, but he works hard, and I like that too. He’s a handful when he loses himself in a battle, but other than that, he's alright. Even if he gets like that, he’s a considerate and kind guy at heart. To put it simply, I guess I like…

“everything.” Hehe.

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algidwind

Q :安定くんは毎日清光くんをキスした? :するよ!忙しいときはあんまりできないけど、おはようとおやすみのキスを毎日しないとなんか落ち着かないから、絶対にする!

Q: Yasusada-kun, do you kiss Kiyomitsu-kun every day? Y: Yes! We can’t do it as often when we’re busy, but it feels weird if we don’t kiss each other “good morning” and “good night,” so we always do!

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algidwind

Q: What does Yasusada usually say to elicit the best/cutest reaction from Kiyomitsu? <33 Y: He gets really happy when I notice his new nail polishes or accessories, so I always try to pay attention!

Q: 清光から可愛い反応が貰えるように、安定は通常彼に何を言いますか? 安:新しい爪江かアクセサリーを気づいたら、あいつすごい喜ぶからいつも頑張って気を使ってるよ!

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algidwind

Got questions or requests for us? We’ll do our best to answer them, so send some in! NSFW questions are accepted, but they’ll be put under Read Mores. Help spread the word by sharing this! You can ask stuff about Aruji too.

俺たちに質問とかあるの?主が気軽に送ってくださいって言ったから、俺たち頑張って答えてみるね!質問以外、リクエストも大丈夫だよ!成人向けの質問もいいけど、それは全部伏せるよ。 主に質問してもいいそうだ。 シェアしてくれば、嬉しいよ! 

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algidwind

Tipping Point - KiyoYasu (NSFW)

Title: Tipping Point Fandom: Touken Ranbu Pairing(s): Kiyomitsu/Yasusada Rating: E Length: 8,157 words

Despite the fact that it was well past midnight, the main hall of the citadel was still filled with light. Almost everyone had gathered in the social area that night for a drinking party, and the festivities had gone on for hours. Things were starting to wind down, though spots of raucous laughter and activity remained here and there. Kiyomitsu was sitting at a table with the other Shinsengumi swords. He hadn’t felt like getting too drunk so, although he was feeling a little fuzzy, he was still upright and mostly clear-headed. The same could not be said about Izuminokami, who was currently hanging off of and harassing Hachisuka loudly. He chuckled and sipped from his sake cup while he watched Nagasone and Horikawa try to pry Izuminokami off the poor guy. He poured another cup of sake and was about to drink it when an obnoxious voice approached him from behind. “Ki—yomichuuu!” “Wha—t?” he asked in the same lilting tone. He glanced behind him and raised an alarmed cry. Hastily, he set down his cup and bottle, barely making it in time before Yasusada tripped and collapsed on him.

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algidwind

Days Without Meaning (KiyoYasu)

Title: Days Without Meaning Fandom: Touken Ranbu Pairing(s): Kiyomitsu/Yasusada Rating: G Length: 2,554 words

“Hmmm….” Kiyomitsu was walking down the hallway when he heard a disgruntled hum float out from the open doors of their master’s room. He went over and peered in to see what the matter was. Their master was sitting at their low table with a deep crease between their brows, poring over an alarming amount of documents and books. A slow arc of papers spilled from the surface of the table and onto the floor, surrounding them like a messy barrier of information. “Aruji?” he asked, standing tentatively at the entrance. “Are you alright?” They were so preoccupied that it didn’t seem like they noticed Kiyomitsu was there until he spoke up. “Ah, Kashuu-san,” they said with a strained smile. “I’m fine, thank you. I was just thinking about some things.”

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