april ludgate tbh

@wesleyschultzs / wesleyschultzs.tumblr.com

by day i am just a regular loser, by night i am the same loser only it's nighttime
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yeah social media sucks but there is something kinda fun about being able to share my thoughts with thousands of strangers whenever i feel like it. i can't shut up and i've decided to make it everyone's problem.

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Anonymous asked:

It’s based on another joke the second scientist usually says “I’ll have H2O too” but the waitress interprets it as “H2O2” and the second scientist dies because he drank hydrogen peroxide which is H2O2

OHHHHHH

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Anonymous asked:

Are you Aussie

no i just never sleep

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Two scientists walk into a restaurant. The first one says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll also have a glass of water. Why are you referring to it so strangely? We’re not at work anymore.”

The first chemist goes into the bathroom and cries. His assassination plot has failed.

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kiwi

I NEED A HIMBO

IM HOLDING OUT FOR A HIMBO TILL THE END OF THE NIGHT

hes gotta be strong

and hes gotta be fast

and hes gotta be dumb and polite

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