i always forget "fuck" is a bad word. it's like a brother to me

Gets a handjob but parries it flawlessly, shattering their wrist

why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

#girl… put 2 and 2 together

yeah they dropped a new love language. yeah a sixth one. its biting

i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem

the night is still young. i can do yoga and use my oil pastels. i can cut another fruit. i can write in my journal. i can make a poem. i can invite the figure outside my window in

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me

These two having a normal one in babymetal’s youtube comment section

Here I am hanging out with ketchup one of my best friends

what if i stood in your aoe. and we were both girls

love the people interpreting this as heal aoe. very good. however: i am currently taking so much damage and i am just standing there and everyone is yelling at me