whenever my dumbass misses “him” I like to refer back to all the old snap memories I have where im just crying and he doesn’t give a fuck

I try to reframe from saying too much at times but I’m pissed. My ex boyfriend continues to harass me regarding my Twitter post and it’s getting to me. We mutually have each other blocked. And whether it’s trauma or just my goldfish memory, I don’t know any of his handles post break up! I don’t look at his shit thru my finsta cause I don’t know nor want to know what he’s doing! He was obviously secretive in our relationship why would I care now that we don’t have one. But none the less, I go about and usually do my usual rounds of slander on the internet

“Malik Salam beats women” “Malik Salam is a woman beater”

Along those lines if you will. And I’m not gunna go posting my injuries cause I think that’s a bit too personal and embarrassing for me on my part. I really let this man whoop my ass and didn’t leave, a bitch is mortified with my previous actions, but also oh well. I feel like now it’s my civil duty to at least let the people know he ain’t shit.

But the thing that gets me is I’m not even saying anything else to provoke need to contact me. The whole point of blocking each other is we’re never supposed to contact each other again! Like damn you break up with someone and they’re literally dead in my mind. But no this bitch feels the need to obsess over me and whatever it is of my portraying of him. I’m not even airing out the worst or the worst. All I said was the cherry on top of his bumness.

I’m not sure. I like to do it on the off chance other girls are using the same tactics I was when I thought he was cheating. I literally would search his name on everything to see if anything from some other bitch would pop up. So if y’all happen to know Malik Salam from East Oakland, CA just a heads up he’s a dirt bag. Hell cheat, constantly ask you for money, be cheap af when it came to you ( cause god forbid he didn’t have AirPods), beats on women. It’s just the nicer things I can say without feeling like a dirtbag for actually airing out his laundry.

Fuck you Malik Salam from Oakland, CA. rot in hell

I’m not specifically going after someone. Not really tryna get my revenge on anyone. But a bitch wants to be honest with myself. So if that means saying shit out loud so be it.

MALIK SALAM beats women. Fit me on multiple occasions, and no my ass won’t shut up. He wants to act like a tough guy so go be it.

i dont even wanna have sex i just want a man to rub his boner on my pussy lips

a fucking mess

man guys it happened, i ran into my ex! and boy was it terrible. let me set the scene: im at the gas station and simultaneously pumping gas and recording a snapchat video like we do. and as im done pumping the gas and getting back into the car and watching back my video, he pops into my car window. completely caught me off guard. i cant remember all the shit he said but he did say stop "talking shit about me online". which i found to be annoying but whatever. i pulled away as fast as i could and parked down the street. i tried my best to not give a reaction or say a word and i didnt. i pulled over and cried for a bit like a fucking pussy, cause i couldnt handle it. my ass was so stressed. i dot know about yall but i dont ever expect to see an ex after a breakup unless its intentional. and the fact that he was just at my neighborhood arco was just a nightmare. officially never going there again.

im telling yall a breakup is different for everyone. we cope differently and its all good. a bitch will be revealing but just know that my book will but much better. and the focus isnt necessary my ex's but more so my life after blossoming into a woman if you will. a bitch hit a hundred bodies i feel like i got a story to tell. and 100 isnt a lot but in 3 years i give myself a pat on the back. theres just a lot of tales and unfortunate situations i got myself into.

malik is an ass. was an ass. i dont care for the terminology hes a menace and no im not gunna shut up about him to an extent. sometimes i remember that he used to hit me, sometimes i remember he used to be rude as fuck, i remember when he told me he had herpes and religiously blamed it on his last girlfriend. he was a big piece of shit and i just feel if someone wants to get involved with him they should know the indiscretion he omits.

Malik Salam shit list (from oakland in case you women are unaware)

-cheater (multiple times, im aware im the dumbass that took him back like 4 times for the same shit but imma still add it to my list cause a bitch was gaslight like a motherfucker till i saw shit for myself)((this is as in messaging/hooking up with master rochi/the white bitch im blanking on her name right now)

-has fucking herpes and reused to let anyone of his previous sexual partners know

-constantly asked to borrow money with and told me hed pay me back, blackmailed me by saying he woulnt pay me back if we broke up, and for the whole 3 years almost never paid back any of the money

im sorry the money always be pissing me off. like yall don understand when i get to the malik chapter of my book im gunna go off. he whole ass knew since december 2021 that his friend was getting married in vegas in october 2022. told me up and down i wasnt going. literally could have convos about how i was axed from those plans. and because hes cheap (or broke i didnt looked at his accounts) a month before he tells me i can suddenly go. "book the room and well split it" never got his half. paid for gas the whole way there. paid for the majority of meals. but dont worry he shared his weed.

actually at some point in the planning he uninvited me from the wedding and said "i could still come to vegas just not the wedding" so my ass didnt even have a fit for the wedding, we went shopping out there. just thinking about this shit is annoying. supposedly your best friend is getting married but you didnt put any money away for the whole event. spent the 4 days there watching squid games in his car, he did bring weed so we shared our weed too, and didnt really do shit. went to the hoover dam and the grand canyon, but not really the grand canyon cause e got there when it was dark and didnt see shit. but overall i spent a band on the trip and never got half of that.

gosh i hate shitting on someone cause obviously you loved them and thought well of them at some point so just know im ranting. this really is my space so my ass sometimes just wants to shit on the bitch i tried to really see the good in. like the basic consensus is i feel stupid as fuck and im not gunna go tell my homies exactly how big a shit head he was. i didnt while we were together and i aint finna start. so imma just write it out and shit on his ass on my tumblr like any healthy and coping young lady.

and his hair looks stupid so very much happy.

its crazy cause ive been thinking abut derrick lately (my og ex boyfriend) and then byrd hits me up to hang out (my og fuck buddy). the byrd thing isnt soo soo weid just cause i did hit him up like a week ago to say happy birthday. but his ass doesnt munch box so theres no point in hooking up.

however derrick...

man i aint seen him in like a over a year, his birthdays at the end of the month and i have a bit of a birthday message already in the works. hes gunna be 30 at the end of the month and it makes me remember our pact, said wed marry each other if we were still single. but last time i seen him i said "can we change our pact age to 40" 30 still young i still have time and plenty of fish still swimming around.

see that man is a muncher, not the best, but hes alright for the occasion. but its not the munching im there for its the wiener. see his wiener could have a whole chapter in my book too. i was obsessed with it and him. he just fucks hella good, im sorry im repetitive but damn that man works his wiener like a king. if i could have one last fuck it be him forsure. sometimes i can still feel it if i concentrate, and 100% will get goose bumps. sometimes i feel like hitting him up but he still has the same girlfriend, and last time we hooked up im sure it was some type of sneak off on his part, but thats exactly why im unlucky with love. i be fucking with this man and i dont know if hes single single. and he wasnt a good partner either, he cheated too and lied about that shit, except i actually left after the first time.

idk didnt mean to go off topic, sometimes i start spewing and shit gets all mixed together. lowkey i have had derrick on the brain so to see malik was just hella wild. im pretty sure he called me but last time i checked we didnt have shit to say to each other. i spent 3 years giving that amn all the opportunity to tell me wassup to spill his guts and truly im over it and if hes tickled that im "exposing" him for being a shitty boyfriend when in reality im just fucking telling my truth is obnoxious. he hit me he cheated on me he lied about all the shit he was doing and continued to even when confronted. like my ass is just hurt and im gunna let it out

there’s something about being an emotional wreck that just pulls me onto the site.

The ability to just kinda “talk” and think someone’s listening just does something to me.

I’m telling you y’all, no one tells you how break ups will go or how long they’ll last.

I haven’t heard nor seen from my ex in months and I pray it stays like that forever, but there’s still moments I think back to and just let myself cry. So that’s what I’m on right now. I’m suddenly caught in the thoughts, not even all that great ones today, and I cry to feel better.

Somehow the thought of our lack of physical intimacy pops into my head. He used to tell me his life was too stressful to think of sex or to be sexy. It was a huge burden to me but anytime I’d mention my issues I was made to seem like some sex fiend.

And somehow, there were always sexy text on his phone to other bitches. I was never the one and I forced myself onto that man for so long cause I wanted him to love me. I was there during the hard time I wanted the cool, funny, non nonchalant guy all the others girls got. Instead he was stressed, angry, asking for money all the damn time!!!! I get so frustrated with myself and the shit I let happen to me. How could I be so naive to the situation and still believe all the bullshit out his mouth.

My self confidence or lack of really just on display for everyone to see as he paraded me around town “look at this clown. She’s paying my bills and she doesn’t know I fuck around on her”

God it’s always the most embarrassing

currently in the thought process of writing a book. somewhat of a tell-all if you will. i just got a whole lot of pent up stories inside me, and i just want to release them on hard bound copies!

Today I’m feeling a bit off, just in general. I’m sitting here in this random ass parking lot just thinking over the last few years I’ve had and my romantic experiences. Not very many of you ask me. Some would argue and say the contrary but in terms of actual romance, I’ve only had a handful of partners. Just now I was thinking about my first boyfriend, a mere 8 month relationship, and still get a bit tear jerked by it. Not necessarily in the sense that I miss him, more so with the words he left with me. Right after we broke up he called me a slut. Said something about me just fucking anyone and everything. I’m not the kind of person to fight with someone when it’s pointless, I merely will stay quite and agree. No energy exerted, no satisfaction. But it stuck with me. I am just a slut, I will just fuck anyone. And for about a year or two I proved him right. Accumulating bodies just for the sake of smoking with a cute face. Giving myself up to dudes that only wanted pussy and I only wanted weed and penis. I was asking strangers to send dick pics to scope them out and then arranging to meet if it was worth the ride.

I’m not going to lie, I did have fun to an extent. Unfortunately it was only when I built a relationship, similar to a friendship with the men I fucked. I knew none of them were relationship worthy, but the ‘platonic’ nature of their likelihood made it addicting. I enjoyed the thought of having friends I could dump myself into. These friendships served as a way for me to express my feelings and worries, literally from the one relationship I had experienced. I was upset what can I say. I loved getting to retell my escapades to my homies. They indulged in them as much as I did. Men love to hear all the nitty gritty like the ladies do.

I do miss some of my old chums, one in particular. Had we’d been better about communicating ourselves maybe we’d still be cool. Has probably my most loyal rump buddy for the longest. I appreciated his honesty and vulnerability at times. He had his own difficulties in life, and was comfortable mentioning some with me. I saw him get his own place, move up the ladder in his work, get a new car. Most definitely he was a slut, but so was I. And I appreciated how free he was about it too. Had he not been a bitch I really do think we could have been some kind of friends. Just something to get off the chest for right now.

since I’ve been putting my business thought I’d give y’all the latest tea

i haven’t heard from my ex lately. So I was under the impression he found a new victim. Then suddenly I get a notification from my bank telling me I just paid an AAA membership. The kicker is I don’t have AAA. So my ass calls their 800 number and tell them my situation

I’m telling the lady ‘ hey i don’t have AAA is there anyway I can find out what account is using my debt card’. Eventually she tells me she’s confused cause I don’t pop up on any accounts and just asks if I know anyone with AAA. that’s when that dusty broke bitch pops into my head.

I tell her I suspect my ex, and she directs my call to someone who can verify the information. I get transferred to some man and he too investigates if I have an account or a neighbor using my card? Anyways i tell him I paid my ex’s bill once and he ask me the name of the account. There I go. He asks me to tell him my card info and BINGO ITS A DAMN MATCH this bum ass bitch is using my debt card to pay his bills

Someone tell him to get his head out his ass and get to work. How you don’t have $59.99 for a payment? Ridiculous i didn’t appreciate it at all.

Thankfully they removed my card, refunded the cash, and submitted a report. Thank gosh for swift justice.