Put a "∞" in my Ask Box and I'll shuffle my itunes and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

After Candy chapter: 2.

Dan has settled in the guess room, all his stuff his back , not as it used to be. I woke up and got up , went into the kitchen to start the coffee machine. Yes , I prepare the pot the night before , I have a dependence , coffee. “ Morning , Dot. ” Dan smiled. “ I started tbe coffee ” he got up and poured me a cup. “ thank you , how did you sleep ? ” I asked getting something to eat for breakfast . He took a sip and said “ fine , it would’ve been better with you ” I clenched the bread I had in my hand . “ How’s work ? ” I cleared my voice and set at the chair in front of him and spammed nutella on the bread. “ you should cook something they do sometimes , I love Chinese food ” nice , keep avoiding his eyes. Breath and remember what he did. “ no meat , you know - ” dan took a spoon of nutella “ I know , Dot. I’ll make you spaghetti rice and vegetables one of these days , they’ll be the best you’ve ever tasted . I’ll stop at the marked before work and I’ll make a nice dinner for you. ” he winked and got up . “ no egg-” he finished his coffee and walking to his room said “ no eggs or you’ll sit on the toilet all night , yes ! ” he laughed. I sighed. Why he has to be so damn perfect ! Be an asshole so I can kick you out and never see you again , because I know I’ll be broken heart very soon again.

I got home after my shift at the hospital. I stretch the muscles of my back and yawned, I feel so old. I heard two voices coming from the kitchen , deep and male voices. What the heck ? “ Johnny , what are you doing here ? ” I asked my boyfriend. “ Can’t I visit my girlfriend ? I haven’t seen you at all this week. ” Dan looked at me from his place fisrt he mad a face and then smirked. “ Yes , you can. But you know my turns , so I don’t understand why you’ve come when I was not home. ” I said bitterly. Dot calm down. “ I wanted this to be a surprise but I have the feeling you didn’t like it very much. ” Johnny took a step towards me and touched my arm. I have the same feeling. Shit. “ of course not , I liked the surprise. Sorry I am a little bit tired ” I said trying to sound calm. He kissed me and then turned to Dan. I cringed. I know Johnny is mad and when he is it never ends well. “ Dan my friend , do you want to dinner with us ?” What? No. “ No , thanks. I’m cooking Chinese today , I’ll stay here ” oh. “ why don’t we stay in Jo? Dan won’t feel lonely. ” he clenches his hand around my arm. I try to not show the pain. “ he said he’s making Chinese , you know I don’t like it. Let’s go out so we’ll spend together , what do you say Baby?” He then looked at me. I shuttered “ Y-yes , sure I’ll go getting ready , excuse me ”

The problem is that Johnny has hanger issues ,He didn’t show it the first months. On our first anniversary he slapped me when I accidentally broke a glass in his house. I didn’t react , I just said sorry and cleaned , he felt powerful. Since then he keeps beating me , in the part of my body that aren’t showing. I know I have to do something , I’ve tried , but he never let me go. after I dumpd him He would follow me home , call non stop , or sneak into my house and after force me to be with him again. Sometimes it was heaven , the other times hell.

I entered the house after my date with Johnny. Thankfully tomorrow is my free day and I have time to rest. I look like hell , how ironic. I’ve lost weight , I don’t feel like eating , I don’t feel like doing anything at all. I have bags under my eyes , which reminds me I need coffee. I checked myself in the mirror near the door and saw blood coming out my lips , and nose. I dropped my bag on the couch and looked around. Dan is not home. Good , I don’t want him to look at me right know , To ask questions , to give answers , and ask more. I took a cigarette from the drawer and lit it. I don’t like to think I am a smoker , I do it just after I see Johnny. Ah shit , I looked at the blood on the cigarette and took a napkin to clean the cuts. “ I didn’t know you smoke , can I have one ? ” shit , how can I pass him one without turning around ? How can I speak to him without turning around? Think. “ sure , take one they’re in the first drawer ” I said unsure then skipped to my room without looking at him. I’m sure I looked like a crazy woman , maybe I am. I have to get out , I need to leave , I feel my lungs deprived of air. I started breathing fast , I need to calm down. I stop in the hallway and crawl down the wall breathing hard. I’m chocking tears , and hug myself. Why am I like this , Dot breath. Calm down , think about unicorns , bunnies , babies falling ,happy thoughts. I try to breath normally , then Dan finds me on sitting on the ground and hugs me , caressing my hair and whispering comforting words. “ what did he do to you , Dot ? Oh , baby ” he whispered. I couldn’t hide it anymore and said “ why did you leave me , Dan ? Why? ”

mrmarchswife-blog reblogged

im-dead-wannahookup

televisionsgif

#Audrey Fucking Tindall WAS GOLD in 6x08

mrmarchswife-blog reblogged

After Candy

Chapter 1. He needs me. After everything we went trough , I still love him. I , strong woman , alone since I was 16 years old when Dan, knocked at my door I didn’t know what to do. I find it hard to take , my mind says NO. My heart open the damn door. He’s an opportunist , that’s what he is ! He left me for a prettier , stupid , stoner ,blond girl. Oh , Dot, stop ! Candy was not stupid , she was in love. Like you. Our relationship was , let’s say complicated. He’s an addicted , I am not. We made it thought , 5 years. I was 21 he 23. We started dating when I left my home , he was there , for me. “ Dot , it’s me . Please open the door. ” he whispers. Shit ,he knows you’re home. The car , genius. Don’t. Don’t. Open. here go nothing. I opened the door and leaned on the wall. I looked at him , waiting for him to talk. “ Hi, I have a job ” he said wearing his famous smile that won my heart all the time. Today’s no expectation. His eyes told a different story. They were crying a river. Dan and I didn’t talk or see for 2 years. But yet , I still knew him. He’s got a job. My heart is exploding. I opened my mouth to tell him how happy I am for him , but this came out. “ should I care ? ” stupid , right mind. He smirked and turned around , holding back tears. “ I guess not. Sorry , I ” he shuttered. “ you already said sorry. ” bitter. He turned and looked into my eyes. “ come in ” I said . Yes , and please don’t hurt me this time. I moved to let him in. He smiles and walks in , looking around. “ nothing has changed ” he observes. He stops in front of the shelf and takes the frame. “ you still have it . ” he looked at the picture of him and I 4 years ago. What a day. We were in our favorite restaurant , kissing , eating , telling stupid jokes , professing our love. I guess they were the stupid jokes. “ yes , I look good in it. ” I said smirking . “ Do you want something to drink ? And maybe tell me why you’re here? I have to go to work in an hour. ” selfless bitch , that’s what you are , my heart protested. “ a glass of water ,please.” He said and then sit on the couch. Holding his hands . I took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. Water ? Just a glass of water ? Ok. “ here you go ” I sit on the arm chair next to him and looked at him. I want answers. I have questions. I want questions. I need him to know I’ve been good , fine , after he left me. Broke me. “ Candy and I ” he started. “ look , if you’re here to talk about her ” I said coldly “or need money for the heroin, which would be weird since as you said now you’re working. I advice you to leave , now. ” Please , don’t. Tell me you’re back. Tell me you miss me , us. Please. “ No , listen, Candy and I broke up. Well ,I did. I thought we would’ve spend the rest of our life together , she wants to. But our relationship is not ok. It’s… unhealthy. I don’t do drugs anymore. I’m trying , it’s been a month ” he sighed . “ I need a place to stay ” he drinked some water then leaned back on the couch. “ I can’t have a place alone. I , I need someone to keep my feet on the ground. ” he then looked in my eyes , he looked so sincere . He needs me. “ are you fucking kidding me ? After two fucking years after you left me for a whore , you , came into my house and ask me to crush here ? ” I am out of my mind. He needs me. “ I would help you paying half of everything, please Dot ” he needs me. “ Dan , shit. Have you ever thought about me in these years ? Uh , have you ? Answer me. ” I said getting into his face. He needs me. He avoided my eyes. Sighed . “ I have. A lot , and I’m sorry I loved you , I really did. But Candy .. ” loved. He needs me. “ yeah , Candy. I guess she needed you. She needed your cock. She needed her heroin. ” I scoffed. And backed up. Turning around , now I was the one hiding tears. He needs me . “ all I needed was you. ” I whispered. “ but I’ve been good , I am. ” now tears are streaming down. “ listen , you can stay here , you’ll pay me from the next month. There’s just one problem. ” I said looking at him “ I have a boyfriend , hope you don’t mind ” I laughed sadly. “ you love him ,don’t you ? ” he asked me with something in his eyes that for the first time I couldn’t recognise. I thought I love him before you came here. Now I don’t know anymore. “ Yes , I do. ” he needs me. He got up and looked around. Then suddenly hugged me. I’ve been craving his arms around me since he become distant. I missed his smells. I hugged him back resting my head on his chest and my arms on his back. Just like we used to. “ Thank you ,Dot. I’ll prove you that I am changed. I will. I promise ” he barely whispered. “ ok , I have to go. ” I broke the hug. And get the spare keys. “ take these and you get the guess room , you know where it is. I’ll go change , see you later. ” is it really happening ? You fucking retarded. This is my brain. Hi, I know , I’ll be broken again. “ yes ,um , thank you so much , D. I can’t tell you how much I am grateful. Thank you. ” he kissed my cheek. “ keep it in your pants and both we will be happy. ” I said smirking. He laughed. And went off. This is crazy. Oh , he needs me.