[たかさくらべ]

yes charmander is the tallest starter of fire types

Why are my clients being arrested? Have they been read their rights? What are the charges?

Too real dude too real

This is amazing

Notes to Thirteen Year Old Girls

When your best friend tells you all she had for breakfast Was a packet of Splenda and a Diet Coke, And she tells you that she’ll stop after she loses five more pounds, Do not believe her. Tell her mother. It does not matter how angry your friend gets. The pain of that will always be preferable to the pain Of seeing your best friend in four years Weighing as much as she does now Half-dead in the hospital.

When your father sneaks into your bed in the dead of the night, And he tells you that this is how fathers love their daughters, Do not believe him. Tell your English teacher. She will have read millions of stories of girls like you. There is a one in six chance that she will be a girl like you. There is a five in six chance that she will know what to say to you. There is a six in six chance that she will help you.

When your veins whisper to you in the moonlight And say that there are so many nightmares inside you That could be free If you would just open your arms, Do not believe them. Tell your school’s guidance counselor, No matter how scared you are Because whispers are liars, And opening your arms will only open the passage For more nightmares to climb in.

And when the therapists say that you are better, Totally better, And you don’t need to worry about the sadness again, Do not believe them. Always be cautious, because sadness has a way Of sneaking up on you When you’re not looking. Be careful. Be careful.

Yesterday at the foster clinic there was a woman with a litter of tiny, tiny kittens, one of whom was a beautiful orange and white creamsicle.  I told her, “I love orange boy cats, they are all so stupid.” and the foster mom said to me, with tears of love in her eyes, face glowing with maternal pride, “He is only 6 days old and I can already tell that he’s going to be so stupid!”

i took a pic of me watching the pickle rick episode to piss people off but like somehow i managed to take the pic so that the frame on the tv was…. a different frame to the reflection on the desk?

cursed image

this is the most fucked up scenario that accurately depicts that movement of photons through space and time

Einstein would be so upset that you proved his theory in one moment, cause in his day it took fuckin months to setup an eclipse pic to prove relativity n you did it by accident, in ur living room. congrats.

Got this talk as an education major too. If you’re going into public service you serve all of the public.

Pretty convenient that a lot of American students never learn that Einstein was a Jew who came to America and started the nuclear research after fleeing from the Nazis and having most of his research lost in the book burnings. 

Or how much of his life and work was shaped by his autism, like how it was his biggest asset because it allowed him to think differently, but also his biggest hurtle because of all the abuse he received in school from teachers who labeled him as a dunce and told him he was stupid because of his disability. Which he proved wrong by discovering the theory of relativity because of his autism instead of in spite of it.

EVEN THOUGH THOSE ARE THE TWO MOST RELEVANT DETAILS OF HIS LIFE THAT EXPLAIN HOW AND WHY HE DID ALMOST EVERYTHING HE DID. But nah, Im sure diversity wasn’t relevant enough to be important in this situation.

Its almost like we have a biased school system that censors the accomplishments of marginalized groups to stop them from realizing that people like them have accomplished things.

He taught at Lincoln University after he was told black students couldn’t attend his lectures at other colleges and universities.

my cat figured out how to open the cabinets so he made a nest in his favorite one. he’ll only come out if he hears the fridge open.

oOH MY GOD

I too want to live in the kitchen cabinet and only come out when I hear the fridge open

Fucking called out.

here have some more nonsense.

this is after she gets back from the underworld. ;P

I JUST CHECKED THIS IS REAL IM SCREAMING

When you’ve spent 92 years on this earth with the name “Dick Van Dyke” and you’re only just now hearing the dumbest possible joke about it.

The only people allowed to approach me in public are dogs

obviously cats don’t need my fucking permission 

Thread on abortion. Men bear no responsibility. Women are expected to suffer. This is part of our patriarchal culture and it has to change.

John Mulaney Wins Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special for John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City

“Poverty charges interest ” holy hell. Ive never read$heard someone put it that way before. But its so friggen true.