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Fuck Yeah Text Posts

@fuckyeahtxtposts / fuckyeahtxtposts.tumblr.com

hi there these are tumblr's funniest text posts all in one place yay
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Posts
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reblogged
laughcentre

me: can i go to the bathroom?

teacher: i don’t know. can you?

she’s got me. i haven’t evolved a standard animal digestive system. i continue to photosynthesize my energy

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laughcentre
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ahcalamity

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

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laughcentre
foxgraves

blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool

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laughcentre
les mis movie: *softly* do you hear-
me: *screaming* tHE PEOPLE SING SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN IT IS THE MUSIC OF THE PEOPLE WHO
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oknope
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maybenotboring

sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*

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laughcentre

I have a bath bomb from lush but no tub so I guess I’ll just have to eat it

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laughcentre
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wolfchasing

i can’t fucken believe that one of the main arguments against wind farms is that they’re an eyesore

do you know what’s an even bigger eyesore?

not having fuckin trees or coral reefs or glaciers or any number of incredible natural beauties because fossil fuels and pollution and global fuckin warming killed it all dead

“Why’d you let the planet die?”

“Aesthetic.”

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