it’s 1 am and no one would believe me if i didn’t record it

we really are living in the darkest timeline

forty dollars

Manufactured in China. 

When you realize the human is trying to bathe you. (via tintin45450721)

The damning mew of utter betrayal.

Top 10 Anime Betrayals

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

reasons I’m still on this hellsite:

1) nowhere else I could find posts this specifically relatable

omggggg

Me: wicker ball

Google: did you mean “wicker alligator”?

Me: …well I do now

u know when u watch a movie and afterward you’re like “god the score was so fucken good who composed it” and the answer is hans zimmer every time

he is just That Bitch

Wait weren’t they her shitty parents in Matilda?

Yep! It was right after filming it, actually.

What’s even better is that Maras mother LOVED the book Matilda. She loved it so much that she got her daughter the part, however she died before she got to see it. Or so Mara thought. Apparently just a few weeks before she died Danny Devito went in to the hospital with a rough first edit of the movie and got to let her watch it before she passed.

Awwwww

After everything that happened in Ragnarok, imagine Thor hearing about Steve and Tony’s fight and being like “Really?! Thats why you all stopped working together?! Just get over it! I did! I’m still friends with Loki and he’s betrayed me three times since breakfast! This petty mortal shit is nothing!”

Loki: “Can confirm, poisoning his mead right now.”

Thor: “Ha! I’ve built up an immunity.”

Now I feel I was cheated on Civil War

Steve: “Well, we disagreed about this big political thing, and I mean big - almost every country in the world was involved.” Thor: *nodding* “Right.” Steve: “So we started to fight, I mean really fight.  We each had about half a dozen friends backing us up.” Thor: *nodding* “Always best to bring your friends along” Steve: “And by the end, it was just me and Tony, and we… we really pounded each other…. no holding back.” Thor: *nodding* “The most honorable way to fight” Steve:  “So now we’re not friends anymore.” Thor: “… you lost me.”

good evening! what the fuck

the fact op is a sneeze fetish blog just makes this infinitely funnier

Strong opinions about his apples

he’s right tho

Reblog if you’d fuck the Apple man after jeopardy

maybe you MILLENIALS would be able to afford a house if you stopped spending your money at your local diner’s jukebox buying twenty one (21) plays of what’s new pussycat with one (1) play of it’s not unusual in the middle

Does everyone just inexplicably know this

The Collector

I’ve seen this several times but I haven’t seen it posted with Zoe’s retweet

she only needs one more before she becomes unstoppable

damn son why are all the funniest and best posts on here always made by deactivated people? who killed them and wh

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

please appreciate this masterpiece from facebook [OP]

Took me a while to figure out that OP meant original post not a comment on the sheer raw energy of this video