girlboss? no. girlunion. girlstrike.

girlworkers of the girlworld unite

imagine if we all just started ignoring celebrities tho

i cant stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kylie jenner posting a selfie n it gets 12 likes

When Harry becomes the DADA professor, kids constantly ask him for an autograph, but he refuses, saying the only thing he’ll autograph is a detention slip. Eventually, though, he starts carrying around a stack of autographed pictures of Ginny, which he gives out when people ask for an autograph. It gets really popular, so he starts mixing it up with autographs from other people, mostly Ron and Hermione. But the students love it, so he adds more. Soon he’s giving out autographs from like fifty different people, including all the teachers at Hogwarts, and a bunch of other random people like Luna, Lee Jordan, Oliver Wood, etc. He even has some fairly rare ones from Krum and Fleur. It becomes a game in Hogwarts to collect all the autographs, like chocolate frog cards. Some of them are more limited edition than others, like signatures from all the ghosts (though Harry won’t reveal how he managed to get those). George starts to offer a discount at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes (and a prize autograph from Peeves, who will only sign Bertie Bott’s scratch-and-sniff cards) to anyone who can prove they’ve collected the whole set. Harry provides him with up-to-date lists of autographs to check against. Every Hogsmeade weekend there’s a line of Hogwarts students in WWW’s Hogsmeade branch trying to get the discount.

At some point a seventh year comes up to Harry and asks for his autograph, but not as the Savior of the Wizarding World, but because they now have the autograph of every other Hogwarts teacher and want Professor Potter’s to go with them. Harry–trying not to tear up–agrees, but only in exchange for the student’s signature. He begins offering this deal to all departing seventh years, his autograph in exchange for theirs. He tells them it’s in case they ever get famous, so he can add it as a limited edition autograph, but really he keeps them all in a big binder just for himself, to remember all his students. (A couple times, though, when a students does become famous, he will contact them and ask if they’d like to be added to the game. So far no one has said no.)

When Teddy starts at Hogwarts he begins a black market autograph trade because he has access to a lot of the people Harry gets autographs from. Harry’s other three children proudly continue the trade when they get to Hogwarts. They’re all secretly aided by Ginny.

I love this incredibly much.

Captain Marvel (2019) dir. Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck

So many dudes are freaking out about this and it’s beyond funny because this is pretty much every woman’s fantasy reaction to creepy dudes being assholes from the age of like 10 on up. Like 80% of us would do this every time given the slightest chance of getting out of it alive

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

This episode aired in 1994 and was a direct response to Mattel issuing their first talking Barbie which said phrases like “Will we ever have enough clothes?” and “Math class is tough”

A group that dubbed itself the Barbie Liberation Organization tried to create awareness of gender stereotypes by switching the voice boxes of a few hundred Barbies with those of G.I. Joe dolls, which made G.I. Joes that said things like “What kind of wedding will you have?” and Barbies that said “Vengeance is mine”

I want a barbie that craves vengeance.

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

this is so fucking shallow and gross

Wanting to know how someone views the world and certain groups of people == shallow?

HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME BASED ON MY VALUES AND THE CONTENT OF MY CHARACTER???

Not wanting to be with someone because their views are incompatible with your own is *literally* the opposite of shallow but okay

me talking about my mental illness in front of my therapist: … i ,,, might have? some sadness… somewhere in me… but it’s? not bad… i’m just whiny… i don’t know i just… never sleep and … me in front of complete strangers: move greg i have depression and i want the pasta it’s an emergency

Keira Knightley was SEVENTEEN in the first pirates of the caribbean movie and now she’s THIRTY and she looks EXACTLY THE SAME. And by “exactly the same” I mean at seventeen she looked like she was in her mid twenties and possessed beauty and elegance too perfect for this world, like the physical manifestation of the word ethereal, and can anyone actually discern any sign of her aging in the last 13 years? has she honestly ever aged? will she ever? I’d say it’s witchcraft or aliens but I think the most reasonable explanation is that she’s Keira Knightley 

i don’t know how to tell yall that her being made to look like she was 25 when she was 17 isn’t something to praise lmao

some people think i learned braille for Cool Points but i actually learned it bc my medicine holder has the days printed in braille and i forget to take my medication a lot. i didnt feel like turning on a light one night just to see my medication so i learned braille out of spite. now everytime i go anywhere i have to read the braille signs and i have seen “woman” misspelled as “noman” SEVERAL times.

Tired Of Waking Up To Take Medication? Learn Braille

deer diary: today i got a death threat for learning a language

x-men’s inherent flaw in its storytelling is that it always has mutants with useful powers telling mutants with actual curses to be proud of their powers 

“you should embrace your gifts” says Orgasm Dude, the dude with the power to give anyone an orgasm

“yeah thanks” says Will Explode If He Gets A Boner Man 

Isn’t this literally the Rogue subplot of X-Men 3?

“Is it true, there’s a cure?” says Everyone I Touch Dies

“There’s nothing to cure” says Weather Lady Who Was Worshiped As a God

It’s not a flaw, it’s a reflection of real life, the way everything is in x men

It’s like a white gay man who lives in a liberal city telling a black trans woman in a deep red state that she should be proud and out of who she is despite that her life expectancy and safety are not the same as his

It’s like someone with mild autism telling someone with severe schizophrenia that they are fine the way they are and don’t need treatment

All marginalized groups are not the same, and all people are not the same, and Storm telling Rogue she doesn’t need to be fixed is referencing people who can get by with their minority standing telling people who will literally not survive how to feel and think just because they are also a minority

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

classic material

well yeah he did fuck that pig 

Wait this isn’t a black mirror thing

Black Mirror took inspiration from his story. David Cameron said it was a ritual from his school time, and he was forever known as the pig fucker who started up the dumpster fire known as Brexit before running away in panic like a coward.

Actually no. The black mirror episode came out far before it was revealed he was, in fact a pig fucker. In fact the episode aired originally in December of 2011, whereas “Piggate” happened in April of 2015. The writer has even denied knowing of the incident at the time of release. It was surprisingly, a massive coincidence.