@sucker-for-contrast / sucker-for-contrast.tumblr.com
Transcript:
I’m about to expose the men. Whenever you ask a man’s height, he’ll add an inch. So if he’s 6 foot, he’ll say he’s 6’1 and if he’s 6’2, he’ll say he’s 6’3.
Not me though. I subtract 4. I say I’m 5’9. Especially when there’s other men in the room. And then I just watch them panic. Not only have you exposed his lie, but now he thinks he’s 5’3.
What I do is not a crime, but it should be.
I don't know very much about myself but one thing I'm sure of is that I cannot be trusted to use a nail gun responsibly.
FALSE! there is no “wrong” way to use a nail gun. if it puts a nail in something with a cool KA-THUNKK noise then you have won at nail guns. end of story. (sometimes screaming may follow the cool kathunk noise but that is largely irrelevant to the fact that you have already won at nail guns and should collect your prize of more nails for your awesome nail gun)
Two things I'm sure of are that I cannot be trusted to use a nail gun properly and neither can Tumblr user arborealgargoyle.
Caesar, muttering to himself: They call me caesar cause I be dressin’
Courier, hiding in the shadows and about to assassinate him:
I don’t want to put this person on blast cause this is literally the funniest thing you could’ve tagged this as
I CANNOT stress enough to the history blogs innocently reblogging this post that it is NOT about historical figure julius caesar, it IS about a shitty dumbass bastard cosplayer in a wildass video game
For the last FUCKING time this ISN’T about HISTORICAL FIGURE Julius Caesar and GOD HELP ME when the ides of march hits again
a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal
I personally am declaring this to be a new International Holiday
Hi Neil, Huge fan of your combination of Mythology and fantasy, both Sandman and American Gods are almost once a year reads in this house and I adore all the others as well. The only person I've previously seen play with gods, humans and things in-between like that was Roger Zelazny. Roger passed when I was just a baby, but as an almost lifelong fan of both of you , can you tell me you favorite story of him?
I remember talking to Roger, in 1991, and I asked him about the short stories he wrote that feel like they are propelled by the weight of backstory.
"Some of my best short stories," he explained, "Were the last chapters of novels I didn't write. I just wrote the last chapter."
Pizza not the only thing "hot and ready ;)" at this Little Caesars
Hey uh, op? Yeah what the fuck does this mean?
That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?
25796323689432 feet you say?
This post turns 11 next month and it continues to be one of the funniest on this damn site
i love listening to my fiancée drawing
“no stop” “oh no i didn’t mean to do that” “wRONG LAYER” “wait go back” “what line is that?!” “cAN YOU– [irritated noises]” “oh you…bastard” “what..layer is that on??”
she’s so cute djksfh
A gift for your fiancee
oh my god dkfjdhgksdjk
happy 2023 my wife is currently making incoherent angry/confused noises because she painted on a layer somewhere several hours ago and now she can’t find which folder she put it into
they’re both right
A funny thing about the Greta Thunberg and Andrew Tate is the level of effort each put in. Greta probably spent less than a minute thinking up then writing that post whilst Andrew clearly spent hours on his video, getting his big cigars, putting on his silk robe and ordering a pizza all to prove how he, a 36 year old adult, was unfazed and totally not owned by a 19 year old. And it got him arrested.
This’ll go down in internet history, Greta ruined a sex trafficker life with a tweet.
i think about him.a regular amount
this shit got me so entertained like i was on the edge of my seat the whole way through
It is good to see that the new generation are continuing ancient internet animation traditions.
twitter reacts to greta thunberg destroying andrew tate
+ (what an absolute legend)
DISCUSS
