Forever Isn't Long Enough

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reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

liKE THIS SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS PPL

Respect

Posted this morning and is literally the only thing I can see on my dash today. Wow.

This is the sweetest thing!! 💗

Anyway the REAL question is how does this guy manage to look like young DiCaprio and Norman Reedus and Dwight from the office all at the same time

wow

geoff ramsey’s greatest freakout

Teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture. “No, we do not LICK water fountains. Perhaps that is acceptable on your planet, but here on earth we prefer to DRINK from water fountains.” “Physics might be a little different on your planet, but here when you throw things they typically fall and break.” “Grabbing people and shaking them violently is not considered a proper greeting on this planet.”

This is real.

you deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you and how beautiful you are all the time and i really hope you find that one day because you deserve to be loved

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

and here we see ray giving not giving a shit

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

These things were created by satan

I was working upstairs when I hear one of our baby leopard geckos start screaming. Normally they only scream when threatened, but this particular guy screams at almost everything. Turns out there was a small fly in his cage that was bothering him.

Yes the fly was removed afterwards.

First, a bit of background - I have lived with a girl for 4 years after putting an ad out online. She pays her bills and is never there at the weekends, while I’m rarely there during the week. However - she is unbelievably lazy, selfish and messy (imagine those shock images of student houses and you’re not far off).

I’ve spent 4 years getting petty revenge on my flat mate in the most passive aggressive ways possible. My objective is for her to never realise I’m responsible. Here is story number 1:

The Offence: Christmas 2014. I have bought 6 bottles of wine for my Nan at a cost of around £30/bottle. Before I can gift them, I return home one night to find she and her boyfriend have helped themselves to one of the bottles…

HER: “Oh I had one of your bottles of wine. I hope you don’t mind. I’ll replace it.

ME: “Errr… Ok. Right.”

Bottle is replaced with Sainsbury’s Basics Red Table Wine at approximately £3 in value. Was given the replacement the night before I was due to travel to my Nan’s leaving me with half a present and a disappointed grandmother.

Petty Revenge: For over 2 years now, I have been sealing all of her bottles and jars with gorilla glue before she opens them for the first time. Tomato ketchup? Gorilla glue. Laundry detergent? Gorilla glue. All those bottles of nail polish just left lying around on the hallway floor? Gorilla glue. I’m a regular maestro when it comes to gorilla gluing things without leaving any evidence.

I gorilla glued her light bulb in to its socket so when it blew, she needed to replace the whole lamp. I gorilla glued the windscreen washer fluid cap on to her car. I gorilla glued the caps on to all the pens she bought when she got in to that adult colouring-in phase.

So far she’s invested in 3 automatic jar openers to no avail and thrown away dozens of items. It’s never been mentioned to me and I assume she thinks she’s just weak and this is normal.

“This dad has a message for fathers everywhere—and it’s going viral. #LeanInTogether

As seen on the Lean In Facebook page

Exactly.

So, I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car,” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

“Ah, my fart cone.”

So anyway

This was a thrill from start to finish