Idiot

This might legitimately be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on this site

the resurgence of female separatism will be the fucking death us

SEPARATISM WILL NOT SAVE YOU !! ASSIMILATION WILL NOT SAVE YOU !! LIBERATION IS RIGHT HERE I AM BEGGING YOU GUYS

i do think any movement that says the only way to be liberated is to separate entirely from anyone who isnt like you will not only lead you to overlook bigotry and harm in your own communities but will also never create a space where those people can just exist. there will always be women in society with other people. there will always be gay and trans people in society with other people. there will always poc in society with everyone else. there will always be disabled people in society with everyone else. if one group separates they give people two choices: leave and stop fighting for a better life, or suffer where you already are. and that will not save us

i am literally always thinking about this collection of essays, there’s a free pdf here, because. no one else has summed it up so well.

separatists will always leave behind other marginalized folk. this will not save us

As an omnivore who likes vegan and vegetarian cooking I think the mistake a lot of people make when trying to convince meat eaters to go plant based is trying to convince them that something you’ve got will replace meat for them.

I like vegan nuggets and real chicken nuggets for different reasons. They taste different. They only taste identical to you because you haven’t eaten meat for five years.

When cooking for myself I only eat meat maybe like three times a week because vegetarian cooking is often cheaper and it tastes good.

Like just give people the actual recipes you use that aren’t pasta. Every time you ask what to eat on a meatless day people are like. Pasta. I don’t want pasta every day.

Point out the foods people already eat that are vegetarian. Like sweet potato fries, veggie chow mein, grilled mushrooms, mashed potatoes, black bean enchiladas, peanut butter sandwiches. Tell people what you microwave when you’re drunk at 3am. Show people that vegetables are so good they’ll want them in their diet.

Also some people are just never gonna go vegan. They’re just not. I’m certainly not, and I love vegan food. But since I’ve fallen in love with vegetarian cooking I eat meat much less and I’m much more careful about picking the meat I do eat. Doesn’t that align with a lot of your goals?

Impossible burger doesn’t taste like meat. But you know what tastes really good? A mushroom fajita taco. Falafel. Potato pancakes with applesauce. Smoky vegan collared greens. Hot potato salad with herbs. Palak paneer with rice. Tofu Pad Thai with extra peanuts. Some of my favorite foods of all time, and I’m a dirty rotten meat eater. Use THAT to get your foot in the door. And be more accepting of some half-assed victories. I’m on your side for the most part, believe it or not. But stop trying to claim certain things are just like meat. You and I both know you don’t plan most of your weeknight dinners around meat substitutes.

The fact that it took Fincher sending him a copy of the script to realize why his wife left him.

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

starting to think that some of you are actually gay for real

Straight girls in a gay bar

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.

then they started fighting Covid precautions.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.

now my parents think climate change is a myth.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.

then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.

now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.

you can guess who they voted for.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.

when did they forget?

Time to bring this back. Again.

Apparently this is evergreen. Dammit.

I remember adults telling me, as a kid that girls can be equal to boys in all fields including athletics. Now, they consider girls to be delicate flowers who could never hope to compete against boys.

elves are portrayed incorrectly in fantasy. if they knew about deforestation they'd straight up jack off to it

Can you stop making your ‘elves jacking off’ posts dude I recommended your blog to my aunt

who do you think keeps asking me to post these

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

You get bigger so you can store even MORE love and appreciation for the world inside of you

It means you'll be at the antique mall looking at a coffee table and thinking "blorbo and Squimbus would LOVE this coffee table"

in an interesting case of linguistic convergent evolution, the english words scale, scale, and scale are all false cognates of each other

scale as in „to climb“ comes from the latin scala, for ladder.

scale as in the measuring device comes from the old norse skal, for a drinking vessel sometimes used as a weighing device

scale as in the dermal plating on the skin of some fish and reptiles comes from the old french escale, for shell or husk.

Three languages enter, one language leaves.

hitting dorian gray with a car and he stands up completely fine meanwhile in his attic a painting flies off the wall and lands in a splintered heap

edging dorian grey and he stares completely blank-faced meanwhile in his attic a painting lays in a splintered heap oozing and spurting all over the ruined carpet

"there are only two sexes, it's literally third grade biology!" and pronouns are taught in kindergarten and you dont seem to understand those either

ok its literally this

this is why, when someone tells me "there are only two sexes, it's basic biology!" my favorite response is to ask "what, you never made it to advanced biology?" like don't load the gun and then hand it to me lmao

you. yes. you get it

Spaghetti bolognese with no parmesan is like getting head without your balls played with

Using a different simile would be like getting head without your balls played with

"we can survive without cities" cities have existed since the advent of agriculture and vastly improve the standard of living for their inhabitants. please drop this pastoralist nonsense and be serious, I'm begging

Cities fund the research that made your farming better and more productive

Same can be said for water sanitation and building materials research

Rural areas depend on cities and there's a fucking reason people are still moving to urban and suburban areas and away from small towns.

The funniest type of tumblr users are the ones who will see a post saying something like "I love smiling at strangers on the bus" and comment "not everyone has the ability to show kindness to others you fascist #ableism" and then you look at their blog and it's all 0 note posts about how miserable and alone they are

How many more posts do we need about how ableism is sooooo funny and its ridiculous to think anyone could possibly be ableist

Yep that's exactly what I said 👍