I’M CRAZY.

Crazy as hell. I decided to move Luxifer AGAIN to another site. Now Luxifer has a WordPress home. I was bouncing in between sites because nothing has been working. I don’t know why I didn’t do this first but I guess I got overwhelmed and lost my mind in a colorful abyss of disorganization. 

I will be moving all posts to Wordpress and leaving the remainder posts here. 

Bambina Lambo

When I first signed to Lux Records back in 1997, I was seventeen years young. I changed my birth name Octavia Jackson, to the stage name, “Bambina Lambo’. I was nicknamed the “First Lady of Lux” since I was the first female and the fourth artist signed to Lux Records. Elliot Hunter and Markus Blak loved that I had a sick flow that was very masculine but at the same time sexy in a feminine way because of my raspy voice. The way I attacked the mic was always like I ready to fight. And it was because I was angry enough inside as a teen. Because of the trouble I was going through as a teen, I once thought that Lux ‘saved my life’. Once.

I was crazy happy when I got signed but my family wasn’t. My family was deep in the Baptist church and the Christian community of Camden, NJ. They forbade us from listening to secular music, watching TV shows with cursing or bathroom humor and wearing skirts above the knees. One night, my mother caught me listening to Salt N’ Pepa and she beat my ass and sent me to bed without dinner. When my mother wasn’t beating me, she was tearing me down. She criticized everything that I did from even when I was a baby. She criticized my hair, my clothes, my grades, and the way I talked. She criticized me for not reading the bible enough or saying my blessings long enough before a meal. She criticized and complained about me to other people. Nothing was ever good enough for that woman. My father, on the other hand, was pleased with me and my flaws but he treated my older sister the way my mother treated me. But when he found out that I wanted to be a rapper, his entire view of me changed. He ultimately thought that I was going to end up a hooker and a drug addict because I wanted to be a rapper.

After my parents expressed their disgust with my music career goals, I started rebelling against them. I would stay out past curfew and sneak back home around three in the morning. My parents would catch me crawling through the windows and they would slap me around afterwards. But I would continue to stay out on late nights with older boys, smoking, drinking and sexing. When I got pregnant at 16, instead of helping me cope with my crisis, my parents threw me out of the house. I dropped out of school and I went to go live with the boyfriend who got me pregnant. He was taking good care of me and we planned to be a family. He was 18 with a job at a plant that was paying him decent. But two months after being pregnant, I had a miscarriage. It was, like, after that happened, I lost my mind. All I could focus on was a music career. Nothing else mattered to me but music and getting discovered. Nothing mattered—not even my boyfriend. If I weren’t focus on music and chasing fame, then I was drinking, partying at the clubs, fighting some chick in the streets or contemplating suicide.

I was discovered by Markus Blak, co-founder of Lux, when I performed at a club in Atlantic City. He was performing at a famous nightclub in Atlantic City. So, I planned to go to a nearby club on the same day, hoping he would show up. It was completely crazy to even assume that back then. But it happened. Hell, I couldn’t believe it even happened!

 Before signing to Lux, I first met Elliot at a listening party for rapper IKONIK’s second album. The listening party was at a somewhat grimy club in Brooklyn. But, see, this was in 1997, before Lux even became a huge empire. Elliot only had a net worth of, about, $1 million, so they were unable to afford luxurious hosting spots like they do now.

One thing about Elliot, though, was that he was more polished than the company he had around him. He always managed to look less street and more urban chic. He enjoyed wearing his suits or button-down shirts with jeans. His pants never sagged off of his butt. He always had a sleek style and a devious look in his eyes. And those eyes would always be on me every time I were around. His eyes practically undressed me whenever I sat in front of him to talk business. At social events, he would lean back in his chair, with his cigar or blunt in his mouth, blowing smoke as he stared dead at me. He just seemed so weird and creepy to me at first. I would always think to myself, “why won’t this nigga stop staring at me?” Yes, he was sexy. But he was just so creepy.

On the day I signed with Lux, Elliot invited me to go to dinner with him to celebrate. “Alone” I asked him? He nodded. And he told me to meet him at this restaurant on Park Avenue at seven in the evening and wear something nice. I was so excited and happy about being signed that I went out and bought a new outfit—a black, long-sleeved dress and some designer heels. I probably spent all of the money that I had but I was too excited about where my life was headed. When I showed up at the restaurant, he was waiting for me with a bouquet of lilacs. He gave me a hug and congratulated me as he handed me the bouquet. Then, he opened the restaurant door for me and, inside, we were walked to a reserved table in the back. I was really nervous. I was not used to such surroundings—crystal chandeliers, people in expensive clothes, maître d’s with foreign accents. Elliot was super comfortable using the different forks to eat his salad and seafood and ordering expensive champagne. And there I was—this little girl from the ghetto of Camden who dropped out of high school because she was pregnant—scared to pick up the wrong fork because I was afraid of what the white folks across from us would think. But Elliot told me that I looked beautiful and that helped my nerves a bit. During the dinner, he opened up about how he was in college, part-time, studying business and running a record label at the same time. He discussed the things that he learned in his business courses like trends, statistics, and finance. I pretended to understand him even though I felt too stupid to understand any of it. He even talked about things that he read in the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Black Enterprise and other business and economy magazines. He was a real Chatty Patty. But my view of him really change. I was so turned on by his intelligence, ambition and his knowledge of things that I was used to seeing old white men on Nightline talk about. By the end of the dinner, I wanted him. I was only seventeen and he was twenty-seven, so he was way too old for me.

However, age was not a factor to Elliot. He liked them young, dumb with everything perky on their bodies. He liked them younger than 40 but no younger than 14. He liked big booties, nice breasts and pretty feet. I had all three and they were good enough to lure him away from his woman. The more Elliot and I talked intimately, I soon learned that he was financing his label with his ‘side hustling’. That was only a nice term for ‘selling drugs’. Rumor had it, Elliot was a ruthless drug dealer with blood on his hands and Markus Blak was his partner in all of this hustlin’ business. He has shot some men and even killed one, according to rumors. Or, at least, had a man murdered. I don’t know if the rumors were one-hundred percent true but it was highly possible. He didn’t mention these rumors to me. He didn’t even go into detail about his experiences with dealing. But he started out selling cocaine and weed to finance his business. Allegedly, he quit doing it after he gain enough money and success. As dangerous as he was, the fact that he was both highly intelligent and intimidating was a turn on to me. God was with me the whole time I was with Lux, because anything could have happened to me. But the dangers of being associated with Lux was thrilling to me. It was even more thrilling that I was sleeping with the King of Lux—even though he had a woman.  

As Elliot started climbing up the ladder in the entertainment industry, his sexual desires started to get weirder and weirder. Elliot got into these weird religions including one focused on sex magic. He didn’t really talk much about it but sometimes he would travel different places to attend sex magic rituals. He was a high ranking “sex magician” and very respected in the sex magic community. I could not believe my ears when I found this stuff out. All I could chalk it up to was him being a big freak. Elliot’s first cousin, Lamont, was the creative director of Lux. He was deep into this sex religion that Elliot was into. In fact, they both dabble in a bunch of strange, dark religions that I don’t remember the names of. One of the religions, which started with a letter T, was one that he was extremely active in and even had a high rank in.

Elliot would invite some Lux artists to swinger’s parties and sex parties that were hosted by wealthy rich white socialites in NYC. Later, he started hosting his own sex parties in his Manhattan penthouse. His sex parties were very ritualistic. I don’t know why he liked them to be like an elaborate religious ritual but it just showed that Elliot had a very eccentric side. There was a bronze statue of a naked woman with a goat head in his living room. He had the medium-sized statue placed on what looked like a voodoo altar on his fireplace. It was surrounded by red flowers and candles and other kinds of symbolic objects. Everyone who came in would kiss the statue and laugh while doing it. The party guests had to get butt naked once they walked through the door. They would strip, give their clothes to somebody and have their hanger number written on their arms with a Sharpie pen. The guests had to wear blindfolds, black face masks or a black veil and walk a red carpet to the living room where the sex activities were taking place. Every sex toy you could think of was available at the party and people shared them. There were drugs from cocaine to psychedelic ancient mushrooms provided to guests that wanted to take them. Men and women had sex in body positions that would make contortionists jealous. Women were having sex with other. Men were having sex with each other. And Lamont, Elliot’s cousin, were one of the people who screwed both women and men. When I saw that, I was hoping that Elliot wasn’t getting it right up the booty like his cousin.

There was a special activity that every woman had to partake in with Elliot at these parties. Every girl at the party had to have perform oral sex on Elliot. The one unlucky girl had to have anal sex with him. Unfortunately, I was one of those girls chosen on one of those nights for anal sex. He performed it on me and I had to perform it on him­—with a strap-on. He performed it in the middle of a circle formed by the ten naked, drugged-up girls. Looking back, I can’t even keep a straight face thinking about how dark and seedy that room was where eleven girls lined up to perform oral sex on this weird nigga who was dressed in a red hooded robe with his thang sticking out. If people weren’t doing each other all over the penthouse, then they were spaced out on drugs, rolling around the floors, chanting, singing, and dancing.

I attended six of these disgusting sex parties but the last and very final one I attended was the Halloween sex party. That party was the darkest, scariest, most disturbing, and satanic event in my life. After doing their ritualistic meditation and chants, which would bring a scary energy into the place every time, the lights went off and only the candles glowed. And that party was the last party that I attended. Nothing about that party was Halloween themed except for the amount of blood being passed around from menstruating women and reckless anal intercourse. The reason why it was the last party for me is because blood and semen started to mix with urine and feces between these people. I remember running out, grabbing my clothes, and vomiting in the elevator on the way down. If Elliot were any kind of high-ranking anything, he really lowered his rank with those straight-up foul and trifling parties.

I side-eye myself for even being romantically linked with Elliot while attending these sex parties. This was a man who wine-and-dined me and bought me a luxury sports car, diamond jewelry and boxes of roses but shared me with other men and women at sex parties. I was so into this man, so I overlooked his dark side. Sometimes, he would berate me and even make me feel like shit afterwards when I challenged his views. I let him treat me like a slave in the studio and in the bedroom. He pimped me out for money and even pimped me out to other rappers who he wanted to sign. The rappers would have sex with me as a ‘prize’ for getting signed because so many of them wanted me. Elliot would make it up to me with an expensive gifts or some good sex. But he always had the last say and won every fight because his money and his sex was just too good.

After my three-album contract with Lux, I had to leave for my own sake. The energy at that label was so dark and the kind of stuff that Elliot and Markus were into was just disturbing. I don’t think Markus was into the same spiritual stuff as Elliot, but he sure had his fun at those sex parties. Markus was a huge hoe and when he settled down with Fanaye, it surprised me. They took the best of me and learned to control all of me and suck every bit of light out of me. I eventually left Lux, went back to school to get my GED and went on to college to get my Bachelors in Communications. Now, I’m saved, married to a man who is very active in the church and hosting my own radio station. I don’t even have 25% of what I used to make when I was a rap star. But I prefer it this way over a million dollars. 

Elliot needed darkness because it fueled his mind and spirit. He engaged in God’s light when it came to manipulating the good girls and the naïve boys. That is why when he signed that little girl, Alimah, I was scared for that child’s soul. She was fifteen signed onto that label, with her father as her manager until she turned 18, fired him and hired Elliot as her manager. Elliot was obsessed with Alimah. This man invested tens of millions of dollars into that girl, more than he has invested into any artist on Lux. She had the biggest, most beautiful eyes that made her look so innocent and vulnerable. All I could think about was how she was nothing but fresh meat under the control of Elliot.

Starting out, Alimah was this spunky teenage girl, so full of energy in her colorful tutus, hip-hop dookie chains and curly hair. She channeled Left Eye from TLC, Monie Love, and Jodi Watley and was so cute during her debut days. She was the voice of the young people—colorful and rebellious in a lovable way. Three years later, after her second album dropped, her image took a complete one-eighty. When she turned 18, she changed completely into rock after doing some rock-like features in her debut days. And the rock was dark just like her clothes, her hair and her image. She went from looking like a cute, feminine old school hip-hop Brooklyn teen to a semi-gothic, black leather jacket wearing, heroin chic, angry, sad, depressed young woman. One thing I did like about her was that she never sold sex and never showed ass-and-titties (even though she flaunted her six-pack stomach and thighs a lot on stage). But that didn’t mean much because she became a foul mouth, down-right demonic coke head. Really demonic. I remember seeing a music video of her performing with her band. They were performing a song from her second album, which was the introduction of her darker image. They were all dressed in black suits and ties performing in front of a flag with a weird symbol on it. Towards the end of the video she closed her eyes, opened them back up and they were all-black like a demon’s eyes. That’s when I said to myself, ‘They got her.’

Alimah also gave out major lesbian vibes, too. There were rumors of her being lesbian and bisexual. She never confirmed them but it seem like she was enjoying them. I remember when she took a photograph for a fashion magazine. In the photo, she had one eye closed while sticking her tongue out between her two fingers. I just assumed that she did whatever she felt that she needed to do to seem cool. She probably didn’t even know that that gesture represented “licking coochie”. And she did it a couple of other times during her performances. In fact, her tongue stuck out a lot of times with her eyes bucked like a lunatic on stage. As the years passed, she started to look more demon possessed on stage. Her large eyes would sometimes roll in the back of her head and expand. I never seen someone who could roll their eyes up so far in their head like Alimah. That is when I knew something unnatural was happening to that chick’s soul. Her facial expressions were downright psycho at times as she performed. Her eyes would widen as she run and jump all over stage. Some of her performances were just psychotic like her having a bucket of animal blood fall on her like she was that girl in the movie Carrie. 

Alimah was wild on stage but off stage, sad, quiet, and angry or just acting downright ignorant. The Devil was with that girl at every concert. She had to have been possessed with his demons before going on that stage. Most of her performances needed holy water and an exorcist.

Even though I am not a fan of rock music, I followed Alimah’s career. Every time I watched her interviews, my heart wept for her. There was barely anything positive that came out of her mouth. She always talked about feeling alone, missing her relationship with her father, her emotionally and physically abusive mother, people that she didn’t like—everything was negative. Except for when she spoke about her music, art and charity work. She loved doing charity. I have never seen someone that loved doing charity that much, not even in my own church. And there have been rumors about her going broke because she was giving so much money away trying to help her family and children in need.

Having said all of this, this news about Elliot raping Alimah don’t surprise me. Alimah may have been to some of those sex parties and got too comfortable with Elliot. Then, there may have been a period where she stopped going and it bothered Elliot. Or Alimah and Elliot may have had a private relationship that turned abusive. He was so close to her, so enamored by her, there is no doubt in my mind that she was once his sex slave. It still would not mean that she deserved to be raped, if it really did happen.

I wrote a letter to Alimah this past weekend. I wanted her to know that the former ‘First Lady of Lux’ was by her side. So I wrote to her:

           Dear Alimah,

           I know you are scared. I know people are calling you all kinds of names for coming out with that news. But I believe you. You know why? ‘Cause Elliot and I have a much longer history than you have with him. I have seen the darkest sides of that man and it does not sound farfetched that he did what he did to you. Sweetie, people are going to drag you through the mud for this one. But you are doing something for the women in this industry. Regardless of what happened between the two of you, you are doing what few women in this industry do. You are speaking up, you are defending your body, and you are maintaining your dignity. Most women let the industry eat them up and they lose themselves, get plastic surgery, get on drugs, turn to porn, or end up dead. I know you battled drugs and tried to commit suicide. It’s not worth it, sweetie.  

           These next few weeks, months and maybe years are going to be painful. Just focus on your music. Pray every night and ask God for strength. My husband is a deacon at the church and we both counsel people. I counseled a girl who just left the industry. Her label dropped her and she turned to drugs, prostitution and porn. Right now, she’s okay. She’s living in a sober home but she still struggles with her mental problems. She comes to our church every Wednesday for bible study and every Sunday for service. I have been where you were and I think you may know already. I sold my soul to the devil and got nothing but remorse in return. This is why I returned to my Christian roots and I advise you do the same. I know it’s in you. You are just in a very, dark and lonely place and I know that place all too well.

           I also have a satellite radio show. You may have heard it – The Bambina Show. It’s a talk radio show. I have all kinds of guests on it. If you want to come onto my show and speak out, I would love it. It don’t matter how risky it is, people need to hear you.

If you ever want to call me, feel free to: 201-555-6609.

Much love,

Octavia

*Photo courtesy of Warner Bros.; scene from “Eyes Wide Shut” (1999)

“One Touch” by Alimah

(Verse 1)

Three o'clock in the morning,

What the hell should I do?

Beg and plead for his presence,

Or succumb to solitude.

And when I wait to see him,

Time's too slow for the world.

Should I mask my loneliness?

Or give it all up for just one…

just one touch…

 (chorus)

One touch, One touch, One touch,

One touch, One touch, One touch

from my baby,

I wanna be close to my baby. (x2)

 (Verse 2)

Torn between two loves,

Only one I could marry,

If I give one up for the other,

I'll still be a fool,

What the hell should I do?

God help me, I'm trying

To risk the pain of no expression,

For no days of loneliness.

But at the end of the day,

He can be taken away,

And my music is hear to stay.

 (chorus x2)

 (instrumental interlude)

 (Bridge)

I'm just a young woman,

With life before her,

She taken the high road,

Yet keep looking back,

Is this for me?

True love or creating a fantasy,

When it's all said and done,

I'm still a lonely woman.

 (chorus: instrumental)

 (repeat bridge until fade)

Remi Jones

           Elliot? A rapist?

           I did not know how to react to the news.

           What could have triggered Alimah to do this? She has never been publicly open about sex (even though she associated herself with sex through the actions of others, like her drummer who would run on stage naked at times). But when it came to sex, Alimah did some things in the dark that the public never knew. She was an open book about her crazy family, drug use, mental illness, naivety and vulnerability. She was notorious as the rich kid that exposed her dysfunctional childhood as being proof that “all that glitters is not gold”. People loved her for that because she made poor people feel good. She made them feel that she was a rich kid with the fucked up life who understood the struggles of the common man because of it. I felt it was a pathetic attempt at winning fans and making money. Yeah, her family was fucked up. So what? At least they didn’t give her up to the state.

           I remember the first time I met Alimah. It was back in 2003. Elliot was interested in signing this girl to Lux Records. We met at a party for Lux Records; Alimah just seemed like she didn’t fit. Everyone on the Lux roster were aggressively confident and independent. We were like family. We shared the common life stories of coming up from troubled homes and/or poverty (except for Elliot who came from a father who had money from being a big time drug dealer). My story was about a little girl from Detroit named Loremi Jones, who was born to a father mixed with African-American, Native American and white and a mother mixed with Lebanese and Irish. Neither parents wanted this mutt so they gave her up and she lived in different foster homes until her mother took her back at the age of 14. After discovering that the daughter that she refused to take care of for fourteen years had musical talent, she decided to pimp her daughter out like a circus act for money. This little girl eventually got signed to Lux Records at the age of 16 after DJ’ing for Elliot Hunter’s birthday party. However, Elliot did not think the name “Loremi” was marketable, so he encouraged the young girl to change her stage name to Remi Jones.

           I’m Remi Jones—the pop and dance-electronica extraordinaire, singer-songwriter, dancer and DJ turntable artist that Lux dropped after my third album failed to chart. Elliot and Markus could have given me another chance since my first two albums did well. But when they brought in Alimah as the new “It Girl” they saw my third album’s failure as an opportunity to get rid of me and replace me with her. It was fucking foul how they did me.

           I will give credit where it’s due and say that Alimah is a phenomenal musician. She created a sound that only dreams were made of. That is why a year after being dropped from Lux, I collaborated on a song with her. She agreed to work with me on it. It was a remixed version of one of her popular songs “Stigmata”. She combined her rock and soul with my DJ’ing skills and we made a hit. But it wasn’t always that fun working with this girl. I couldn’t stand that bitch at first. I remember when she was doing backing guitar for a track on my first album. That day in the studio with her was probably one of the worst studio sessions I ever had. When we tried to discuss ideas for the track, she would talk over me. She gloated about her musical knowledge and Elliot let her do it! She was only a rookie and he let her talk over me. I remember giving that fool a look like ‘are you gonna let this newbie talk to me like she owns Lux?’ But Elliot threw the whole, ‘She’s a child prodigy—she knows music well’ line at me. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. He was more than likely kissing Alimah’s ass because her father is kind of a jazz legend. After the recording session, I confronted her and nicely told her that I felt uncomfortable with her talking over me. Alimah sneered, looking me up and down, and said, “Your music isn’t good, so you’re lucky I worked with you.” I wanted to tear a fistful of her hair out her scalp but all I did was go into the restroom, call my boyfriend and vent. When I told Markus what she said, Alimah lied and told that I was wrong when he questioned her. In fact, she told him that she praised me and that she was talking over me because she gets very talkative when she is excited. Markus told Elliot about the drama between us and Elliot did nothing about it. Alimah did the same with other artists that she worked with yet I was the one who got dropped after her. She loved playing the victim role whenever she got in trouble. Even when she was caught doing cocaine, she talked about how her mother did coke and it traumatized her. When she got into fist-fights with people, she talked about how she was bullied in school by some of the white kids and had to fight them.

Alimah’s father was her manager when she first sign. He made his daughter think she was God’s gift to music. What was so ironic was that she mentioned how he would yell at her and punish her when her ego got out of hand. What was interesting about her was how she seem to exaggerate her self-worth but then became so desperate to be accepted. How could a girl who came from a rich dad who spoiled her be so desperate to belong to a record label family? It was like when she was dating her boyfriend Jason Riggs. She was obsessed with him. I won’t lie, Jason was one sexy dude. He looked so good in his plaid shirts, jeans and fitted caps looking like the NYC urban hipster type. He favored a young, light-skinned LL Cool J but with a keener nose and thicker eyebrows. And when she was with him, she attached herself to his tall, athletic body like a parasite to a host. It was nauseating how clingy she was to him.

Alimah was so hardcore about not selling sex and not displaying her lady parts like a lot of us female artists. Her musical genius made up for it but she was not that innocent. She went around telling people that she was a virgin but was found fucking her ex-boyfriend Jason in a dressing room backstage before a performance. And there were also rumors scattered around of her other unique ‘skill’. If you ever want to witness it, get her drunk and give her a large banana.

Everyone who knows, knows that Alimah was a huge freak. I personally know that she’s a freak because we did some freak shit together. It happened when we were working on the single together. After recording the album, we went out for a late night dinner. Afterwards, we went to the hotel room that I was staying in to light up some blunts and chat a bit. She was crying to me about men (because then she was on an emotional rollercoaster over some white actor she had a fling with) and acting all needy and vulnerable. One thing led to another and we were making out. Alimah is gorgeous; there’s no denying that and she was very desirable despite being standoffish and always stuck in her head. I had a chance to look past that and noticed how beautiful her big eyes were and how sexy her full lips were. And she had the nicest, roundest, fullest titties and booty—in fact her D-cups and apple booty were the best assets below her beautiful face. I wanted to go down on her but she was too shy about it. So we fell asleep together in our underwear. The next morning, she told me that she would pretend that what we did never happened. She really and truly felt ashamed of it. I couldn’t understand why. Humans have needs regardless of sexual orientation.

Someone once told me that Alimah had crushes on both Markus Blak and Elliot Hunter when she was a kid. Imagine having a crush on a superstar, finally getting to meet that star and becoming close with them all while having the libido of a wild animal? Yes, they are both really good looking guys but Elliot always got me hot in the pants. I was obsessed with that man to the point when he signed me to his label, it was a surreal experience that couldn’t be described to the fullest. He was so handsome and so powerful. He looked so good in his Italian cut-suits and so commanding in his sleek office that overlooked the Brooklyn Bridge. And unlike most powerful men in the industry, he was super easy on the eyes. When I first signed to Lux at the age of 16, he was engaged to a Nigerian supermodel who he proposed to in Paris on top of the Eiffel Tower. He gave her a fairytale proposal and probably a host of STDs from other women. And I was one of those women who he gave the dick to. Except I wasn’t a woman when he first gave it to me. I was only 17. He was 31. He groomed me until he got me to the point where I was comfortable to have sex with him. I was willing. I found him sexy. When he first discovered Alimah, before sogning her, I remember him telling me about her. She was only 14, but he gushed over how pretty and talented she was. Then he asked me out of nowhere if I would have a threesome with him and her. I was 18 when he asked me this, mind you. But he was almost 32 wanting to fuck an 18- and 14-year old?! That’s when he started weirding me out and I stopped fucking him. Fourteen was just way too damn young.

I remember when Alimah was like a princess when Elliot escorted her to her senior prom in a white Rolls-Royce. It was in the celebrity news and even featured in a magazine. He purchased a one-of-a-kind designer gown for her. He even got her a diamond necklace. He wanted that girl in a way that she was unaware of. After leaving Lux, I realized how close she and Elliot became in the public eye. Elliot has never paraded around a female artist signed to Lux like he did Alimah. She was like his pride-and-joy. Anybody could have thought the worst and suspect that Alimah slept with him, even though she used to publicly say that Elliot was “the big brother” she never had.

           I wonder if they did have a thing going on and Alimah became scorned by something and is fighting back. She’s having problems with her contract and she is not getting her way. She is reacting in a way that is not surprising. But Elliot was fucking teenage girls; that is predatory behavior. I can say that now as an adult woman with better sense. To me, a man that preys on underaged girls is highly capable of raping a woman.

Alimah’s Letter to her Ex (Pt. 1)

March 12, 2008

 Dear Jason,

I’m sending this from my Hotmail account because my Gmail account is compromised. Someone got into my Gmail account. How it happened is beyond me. But I think it was Elliot. If the son-of-a-bitch can tap my phone and listen to our phone conversations, then it isn’t too farfetched to think that the freak has something to do with my email account being hacked into.  And no, this isn’t my psychotic depression talking.

               Last week, I tried to kill myself. Again.

I had to let that out first.

               I just left the mental hospital yesterday. It went okay but the doctor advised that I consider leaving the industry altogether. I may just do that because this is an environment filled with empty souls.

               Everybody who loves Elliot hates me. All because people don’t believe that Elliot raped me. He sent his people out there to do the dirty work for him and destroy my image. I let the smear campaign—my abortion being exposed, lies about me being racist towards Hispanics and lies about me being homophobic—get the best of me. I lost fans. I lost money. Worst of all, I lost my father’s respect. My aunt was the only one who forgave me about the abortion but my father pretty much disowned me. My sister, Desta, was the only one who did not judge me. I expected nothing more or less from her because she has been my better half through so much of my career. But she is not by my side anymore because she went away to Harvard. So, I have no one. I feel vulnerable and I wish you were back in my life.

               I know you probably hate me now that the world knows I aborted our baby. So, if you don’t respond to this email then I will understand. Just so you now, your enraged screams have haunted me in sleep for the past few nights since our last phone conversation. Your anger about this secret of ours being exposed resonated with me. The amount of fiery red and orange in your tone burned my spirit like ether. You have never been that furious with me in my life. I never imagined you ever being that furious with me. You may hate me, but I still love you. I just want you to know that.

Sweetie, I didn’t mean for our business to get out. Please don’t be angry at me. This is all the works of Elliot. I want to leave Lux. I feel like God is punishing me for doing drugs, being stupid, playing around with evil spirits and speaking ill of my family in the public eye. I feel like He is punishing me by making it difficult for me to get out of my contract with Lux.

Elliot frightens me. He is the Devil.

I HATE THAT MAN SO VIOLENTLY! I WISH HE WOULD DIE!

Jason, why do people let paper with numbers on it and faux idol worship turn them into monsters? When we die, none of this shit is going with us! We may leave a legacy to those who survive us but what good is that if some people learn about the dirt you have done to create that legacy? I never worship money. But I craved power. I craved feeling like a god on stage. I craved the energy from hot, fiery spirits on stage and off-stage. I don’t have it in me to continue this lifestyle. You have got to be an empty and soulless being to live and thrive off of materialism, idolatry and hedonism.

               I miss you, Jason. You were the only source of sanity in my life. I regret the day that I let my career destroy what was between us. What good is living when I sacrificed our unborn child for Lux? I can only live vicariously through the spirit of our dead baby by visiting my ‘pretend daughter’ at the orphanage in Addis Ababa every year. But she is not promised to me every year I go to see her. A white family could adopt her at any time. That little orphan, Tsehai, looks a lot like me. She looks like she could have been our daughter had I not sacrificed our baby.

               I did not want to do it, Jason. I can say that Elliot forced me to do it but I could have went against his wishes. I would have just kept the baby and we could have gotten married. I probably would have had a music career anyway—just not with Elliot and Lux. But I let him suck me in.

               Part of me feels like I deserved the rape, the humiliation and the horror. It’s karma well-deserved. I deserved it for aborting our baby for a man who hated the fact that you loved me. He only wanted me all to himself. Elliot gave you opportunities to direct music videos for his artists, so he could get a close enough to watch of you. He hated seeing us together. That’s why he sent Monty to take you to industry parties. He wanted you to cheat on me. But of course, you didn’t because you loved me. He hated that. And when he found out that I was pregnant with your child he threatened me if I didn’t abort it.

               I’m writing in circles now. Now would be a good time for a blunt. I can’t have that though. But there is no high as intoxicating as the good energy that we used to have between each other.

               I won’t kill myself again. I promise to myself and to God. I was kind of happy that Markus took me away from the ledge of that building; so I guess I didn’t really want to die after all. After saving me from jumping to my death, I feel one-hundred percent better about him being my future brother-in-law.

My suicide has failed but that doesn’t mean that I still don’t feel like a zombie. I wish I would have seen what you saw in Elliot in the beginning. I should have listened to you when you told me that you didn’t trust him. You were always good at reading other people. I was too enamored with the idea of being a member of the “Lux family”, so I didn’t listen to someone who truly loved me.

I’m pathetic to you right now. I know. You’re probably much happier with the girl who I saw you hugged up with in your photos on Facebook. She’s gorgeous. She’s definitely your type—eclectic, artsy, slim, busty and doll-faced. She looks like a chocolate Barbie doll just like my sister Fanaye. And all of her gorgeous glory made me feel very insecure behind that computer screen. She probably won’t hurt you like I did. But she will ever love you like I do.

I need you in my life right now. I need you right now more than anything. If there is any time in my life where I need you the most, right now is it. Nothing would heal me like your forgiveness.

"EXPOSING THE INDUSTRY (INDUSTRY SNAKES):

*sighs*

Soooo…welcome to my first blog post. :)

Please excuse the typos or incorrect punctuation and i am typin real fast. I am writin this from my phone. It’s two in the morning and im trying to write as much as I can with these long ass acrylic nails that I just had done today. Don’t wanna break them! ;)

I don’t blog. But something that has been happening motivated me to make this blog. I know that the blog is titled “Industry Snakes”. I know what yall thinking. You probably thinking ‘all shit another industry reject mad about not making it so they making a blog tryna bring down successful people that made it’. No it’s not like that. Not at all. In fact, I could have been very very successful in the industry but I put God and Jesus before money.

U probably asking why I made this blog. Well, I used to work in the industry for a short before going into my field of public relations. I currently do PR now for a non-music industry related company (thank Jesus). When I was young and naive, I dreamed of being some big name in the industry. I wanted to be the next J.Lo—a singer, entertainer, businesswoman making boss moves. I could have made it but again I put God and Jesus before money. I have seen too many dark things in the industry. My goal is to expose as much as I can without getting my ass burned.

And one of the biggest snakes that I wanna expose is the snakes at Lux.

It was back in 2004 when I started the internship at lux records. I was in my second year of college so u know I was super hyped when I got the news of workin @ the job of my dreams with one my idols, Elliot hunter. When I say hes my idol, I mean I used to put this man on pedestal not only was he rich but he was foine. I mean FOINEEEEEE. Anyhoo, I remember when I first applied they as in lux records as people to send in a photo with their app. so I sent one. It was weird but later I found out why it was so important to Elliot to see pictures of future interns. He wanted a female intern at that. Then, being naive, I thought it was cool cuz I figured he was giving women a chance in the industry.

The first day I started Elliot and the Lux family gave me a dinner. They loved calling themselves a family. It was really nice and Elliot was one the most charming men I ever met. Women already know how handsome and debenair (sp?) the man is. But at the same time his charm was on psychopathic levels. While he was sexy there was a very dark demonic motive behind it. While he was one of the best lovers I ever had, he was also one of the most disturbed and deranged human beings I ever met.

At that time he had a girlfriend. She was a model who I prefer not to name since he always kept his love life private and u only saw him with a bunch of women. He been engaged to this model like forever but I was one of the stupid ones that fell for his seduction. Two weeks after working as a PR intern Elliot and I began a private affair. He liked the way I look on my picture and that was the main reason he hired me as an intern. I was a good intern tho. But because he was attracted to me it helped.

Our affair started with him inviting me to five-star hotels to have sex. It was an unpaid internship but I got ‘paid’ in diamonds, designer clothes, A-list connects, six-star hotel stays and trips to places like Monaco, saint tropez, paris and milan. When I wasn’t bein showered with gifts he was giving me good sex. I knew he had a fiancée but I was so stupid and so blinded by his power and his money and his charm that I wasn’t thinkin. He gave me rare diamond jewelry for having threesomes. He even gave me a Benz and put me up in a nice apartment in Manhattan for letting him do something that later sent me into a deep depression. I even thought about killin myself after doing the kind of things I did with him. I was raised a church girl so it all went against what I was used to. I really cant go into detail what we did because Im scared to.

I left lux because of this. But also because he started to scare me. When I told him that I didn’t wanna continue to with the affair and felt bad, he threatened to fire me. I was like ‘fine then’ fire me. He also told me to give him everything that he gave me. I was like okay I will be without a car and a home but I rather keep my dignity. I moved out of the nice apartment and gave up the benz. I was sad about it but I was even sadder about what I did and the things that I let this man do to me. I wish I could fully tell what he did to me but who knows what this man is capable of."

Rape, Abuse & Manipulation: Alimah Files Lawsuit Against Manager Elliot Hunter, CEO of Lux Records

The seven-time Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter says her manager and mentor, Elliot Hunter refuses to let her out of her contract with her master rights.

By Kenya Nelson

May 12, 2010 | 11:00 am

Alimah has set the music world in shock with her recent lawsuit against her long-time mentor and manager, Lux Records CEO Elliot Hunter.

The lawsuit filed in New York Supreme Court goes all the way back to 2004, when Alimah was 18 and Elliot Hunter began making flirtatious gestures towards the singer-songwriter.

From there, Alimah goes into detail about how he stopped flirting with her for a couple of years but showed other strange behavior. For example, finding girlfriends that looked very similar to her to trying to break up her relationship with her former boyfriend, music video director Jason Riggs. She reported that the rape occurred in late 2008 when her mentor/manager came to her home for a celebratory dinner. She claims that she was drugged and raped by him. The lawsuit reports that “Ms. Kebede woke up in the bed the next morning, naked in her bed. There was bleeding from her vaginal and anal region, which indicated that Hunter may have performed anal intercourse on her.” After the rape incident, she reports that he started displaying stalker-like behavior tapping into her phone lines, sending people to follow her and/or hacking into her email account.

Although the sexual abuse allegations will deservedly gain most media attention, Alimah reported that he is refusing to grant her rights to her masters as promised in the contract because she refuses to give in to more of his sexual advances. She also alleges that he refused to promote her last album Incognito because of her refusal to give into his sexual advances.

Alimah has become synonymous with the success among Lux’s female roster. She is one of the most successful female rock alternative artists of the decade, transcending the sound of rock and R&B into electronic grunge, industrial sounding-blues and African-influenced punk. She is also hailed as a barrier breaker and one of the greatest yet underrated stage performers of her generation with her adrenaline-powered, tribal-infused energy. On March 9, 2009, Grammy-nominated hip-hop artist/producer Markus Blak resigned from his position as co-founder and vice-president of Lux Records. His departure from Lux was one of the most talked-about stories in music news. Markus Blak is also the brother-in-law of Alimah; so, it seems coincidental to some that Alimah came out with a lawsuit after longstanding rumors of conflict between Markus Blak and his business partner Elliot Hunter. However, Alimah claims that her brother-in-law knew nothing of the rape before his departure.  

Alimah also stated that her psychiatrist, who treats her for depression, told her that continuing her contract would be “dangerous for her mental health and her life”. She is suing Hunter as well as Orbis Music Group, the parent company of Lux Records, who are charged with covering up his actions and forcing her to continue work with him.

The lawsuit filed on her behalf by her lawyer Joseph Wertz asserts causes of assault and battery, sexual harassment, unfair business and discrimination based on religion and gender.

A lawyer for Hunter tells CNN that they have filed a lawsuit of their own against Alimah for defamation of character. Hunter’s lawyer states: “As set forth in the complaint that we have filed for Mr. Hunter, Ms. Kebede is on a mission to defile Hunter’s image because of her refusal to understand business. It is clearly stated in the contract that the artist is only granted rights to his/her masters if they have earned back all of the money which the label invested in them, which Kebede hasn’t done yet. Kebede refuses to understand the music business. While she is a musical genius, she lacks respect for and knowledge of how to do business…Like Geppetto carved Pinocchio, Hunter created Alimah and gave the world a major contribution to rock music and black music. Hunter has invested more than money into Kebede; he has invested time, love and immense faith in her. She is displaying ungrateful, unwise and immature behavior.”

On October 16, 2008, Alimah announced to the public in a press conference that she was leaving the music industry. “After my last album with Lux, I decided to bid my farewell to the industry. I will continue to produce music and write music but I will no longer be performing concerts or touring.” Kebede has always been vocal about the ills and misfortunes of the music industry and has often been criticized for her rebellious behavior. However, Alimah established herself as one of the most benevolent philanthropists and hands-on volunteers in the music business, for example a three-month leave she took with her sister in 2005, to help rebuild homes in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. This past February, Alimah was awarded two long-deserved Grammy’s for her production and composition of the original soundtrack for Anna Perenna and her last album Incognito, after having been nominated for seven Grammy’s throughout her career.

“Earth’s Shadow” Lyrics - From Alimah’s Fourth Album “Incognito”

(Verse 1)

Flashing lights turn to blackouts,

One blackout after another,

Unaware of everything around me,

Nowhere to run for cover,

Time's nothing but a blur, it disappears,

along with my safety.

No protection within these deadly woods,

Masqueraded by those tempting green leaves.

My soul is nourishment for their roots,

Leaving me vulnerable at the hands of thieves.

Promises of pure immortality,

Promises of power like that of kings,

At the cost of my soul and body,

Controlled by your puppet strings.

 (Chorus)

Memory as dark as night,

As I wake beneath Earth's shadow,

As I wake beneath Earth's shadow, shadow.

Tomorrow bears no light,

As I wake beneath Earth's shadow,

As I wake beneath Earth's shadow, shadow.

 (Verse 2)

Demons surround me, I can't see their faces,

Lying naked underneath their gazes,

Not sure if I'm alive or dead,

In this cold and anonymous bed.

Black out after black out it seems,

I thought, "Is this all real? Is it all a dream?

As I awakened in a moving taxi,

Now, the story's getting crazy.

 (Chorus)

Memory as dark as night,

As I wake beneath Earth's shadow,

As I wake beneath Earth's shadow, shadow.

Tomorrow bears no light,

As I ride beneath Earth's shadow,

As I ride beneath Earth's shadow, shadow.

 (Bridge)

I wish that I could run and hide,

From the pain that I feel in side,

How many girls have you violated?

How many souls have you mutilated?

 (Chorus)

The truth has come to light,

As I cry beneath Earth's shadow,

As I cry beneath Earth's shadow, shadow.

It's not a pretty sight,

As I wake beneath Hell's shadow,

Shadow, shadow, shadow, shadow...

Fade out...

There have been many debates about whether or not this song was Alimah’s experience being sexually assaulted by her boss Elliot Hunter. She has never made it one-hundred percent clear whether or not the content was based on the incident. Even to this day, it has not been proven whether or not she has been sexually abused by him. When asked about the meaning behind this Grammy award-winning song in 2010, Alimah simply responded that the song was about “personal demons”. 

Album cover of Alimah’s Inferno. Taken from Hieronymus Bosch’s “Hell”. In the original painting, the black creature is grabbing on to a pale white female figure with long hair. However, I replaced the white figure and painted an image of an African-American figure that resembles Alimah.  

PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG MY STUFF IF YOU ARE A NSFW BLOG!

If your blog is full of naked pictures or porn DO NOT REBLOG. There may be sensitive readers viewing my page and I do not want them (or me) to see that trash! If you reblog, I will immediately block you.  There will be some mild sexual content, mildly disturbing images and strong language on my page but porn and graphic, gruesome violent photos are NOT ALLOWED! There are too many of you weird and freaky perverts on Tumblr! Please keep your porn away from here. Thank you. :)

SVENGALI: INCUBUS