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rillawafers

@rillawafers / rillawafers.tumblr.com

try { _uacct = "UA-8104916-1"; urchinTracker(); } catch(err) {}my name is darryl and this is my other brother darryl. these are some things I found and or made on teh intranetz. I live in Hollywood, California I like dogs and my toys I work on the internetz at Funny or Die. <!--google_ad_client = "pub-7440091741648159";/* 468x15, created 7/5/11 */google_ad_slot = "3878296288";google_ad_width = 468;google_ad_height = 15;//-->
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xuhulk

I went spelunking on the Chinese internet today. What started off as an innocuous search for Chinese Nicki Minaj fans quickly turned into a hunt for the ingenious, hilarious, and often slightly insulting nicknames created by Chinese fans for the American pop stars whose names they can’t pronounce.

After an inappropriate amount of time on Weibo and the Chinese equivalent of Yahoo Answers, I present the greatest of my findings:

Nicki Minaj - 麻辣鸡 (má là ji): a slant transliteration of “Minaj”. Means spicy chicken (ma la is a spice combo commonly used in Sichuan cooking).

Taylor Swift - 霉霉 (méi méi): derived from 小霉女 which is itself a pun on “pretty young lady”, but replacing the word for “pretty” (美/mei) with an abbreviated version of “unlucky” (倒霉). Chinese fans gave her the nickname after a string of her singles failed to make it to the top of the Billboard 100.

Justin Bieber - 碧波姐姐 (bī buó jie jie) - Sister “Bi buo”, a hyper-feminine transliteration of Bieber; more commonly 凉凉 (líang líang) which I can’t figure out at all.

Drake - 公鸭 (gōng yā): Literally “male duck”, as in the definition of a “drake”. I laughed out loud when I finally figured this one out.

Kanye West - 侃爷 (kǎn yé): a transliteration of Kanye. In Beijing dialect, this means someone who brags a lot with no actions to follow it up. (I actually love Kanye, but this is still damn good wordplay.)

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I gave this dude off tinder my number and all he’s done is send me pictures of his rock collection and it’s the best thing that’s ever come out of tinder tbh

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heehoohoo

Our last day of school involved dressing up and I took it upon myself to be the sexiest one there

I’m honestly not sure what I find funniest about the unexpected success of my sexy gandalf cos

  • The people that are slightly turned on and very confused
  • The people that are unashamed and direct
  • The countless marriage proposals
  • The even more countless amount of people that have decided this is what they’ll be this year for halloween (The idea of having raised an army of Gandalfs in fishnets is honestly fantastic)
  • The unanimous agreement that this is the only acceptable sexy halloween version  of a costume
  • The innocent numerous cuties that think it’s Dumbledore (shh don’t tell them)
  • Tons of new cute messages saying I’m cute/hot etc (I’m glad you could all see beyond my hot grandpa beard wow)
  • The amount of new followers hey I love you all I’m glad my legs made you stick around
  • Most importantly of all, the thirst for Gandalf
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