@callistamiralni / callistamiralni.tumblr.com
You always got strange looks whenever you fed the neighborhood ravens. “I give them food, they give me company,” you’d say. One day, a raven excitedly comes up to you and whispers, “A neighbor plots against you, my lord.”
full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009
remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set
Sometimes shit was marked “lemon” and it’d just be them making out, and sometimes they’d just start pissing on each other
No rules, no laws, you took your life into your hands opening fics
A/N: this contains SLASH, that means TWO MEN, if that makes you uncomfy, DON’T READ!
A/N: please don’t sue me, o anime overlords, I’m not making any money off of this! I’m just a broke student! I don’t have any money!
A/N: I totally wrote this while high off 10 Red Bulls wheeeeeee!!!!!
A/N: COMMENT if you want me to continue the next chappy!!!
No, no, no
remember when there’d be interactions with the author and the characters?
InuYasha: I don’t get why I have to be here for this
A/N: Because it was in your contract!!1!1 *revs chainsaw*
god those were lawless times.
this is the representation nepo babies deserve
I think it's important to know, there's an older picture of David signing stuff, with his father-in-law WHO WAS THE FIFTH DOCTOR, holding a very similar sign behind David's back. I don't have the pic, but you can probably find it if you look a bit.
so tonight I’m at synagogue, listening to the Purim Night reading of the Book of Esther, like you do
and near the end of this chapter my brain presents me with the following:
nooooo ooooone plots like Haman calls the shots like Haman plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman
(It only works with the Hebrew pronunciation of Haman, which, like Gaston, is accented on the second syllable.)
By the time we get home my brain has added:
for there’s none so well-favored and kingly yes, we all can be certain of that he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat
*face in hands*
Petition to sing this every year at Purim.
I shared this with my dad, and he added:
No one’s spruce as Haman, Nor abstruse as Haman; No one’s half as good tying a noose as Haman! He’ll use gallows in all of his decorating! No one else hangs as well as Haman!
niiiiice
i know several people who will definitely appreciate this.
this is beautiful
oh wait
When I was a lad I hatched four dozen plots Every morning, to raise myself high… And now that I’m grown I hatch five dozen plots So all those who oppose me shall die!
Oy, what a goy, that Haman!
*SPLUTTERS*
Chan Purim y’all
Oooh! I got one!
No one sneaks likes Haman
Falls for cheeks like Haman
No ones welcome at all queenly feast as Haman
“(Whining) My best council is never solicitatated.”
Oy what a goy that Haman.
Ooh, possible, possible … although how about this, for the final verse?
No one’s keen like Haman Makes the scene like Haman Gets invited to feasts by the queen like Haman
(Guys, somehow this post has exploded – over 1700 notes in the last three days. Seriously, I’m going to have to finish the damn thing.)
CHOCOLATE MAN MADE A LOVE POTION
hope this explains it
If she blinded you with science maybe you should have been following lab safety protocols and wearing your goggles
https://twitter.com/mohammadhussain/status/1340439172687998981?s=21
“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading
full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009
remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set
Sometimes shit was marked “lemon” and it’d just be them making out, and sometimes they’d just start pissing on each other
No rules, no laws, you took your life into your hands opening fics
A/N: this contains SLASH, that means TWO MEN, if that makes you uncomfy, DON’T READ!
A/N: please don’t sue me, o anime overlords, I’m not making any money off of this! I’m just a broke student! I don’t have any money!
A/N: I totally wrote this while high off 10 Red Bulls wheeeeeee!!!!!
A/N: COMMENT if you want me to continue the next chappy!!!
No, no, no
remember when there’d be interactions with the author and the characters?
InuYasha: I don’t get why I have to be here for this
A/N: Because it was in your contract!!1!1 *revs chainsaw*
god those were lawless times.
Reddit twins
I know andromeda gets custody of teddy after remus and tonks die but exhausted and confused single teenage dad harry is actually something that can be so personal,
after 5 consecutive panic attacks over a misplaced shapeshifting baby on a muggle playground harry enlists hermione to knit the most outlandish baby clothes possible so there's never a chance of him matching another kid
babies aren't supposed to have meat until at least 6 months old but its a full moon and he's got a 2 month old half-werewolf snarling for a bite of his steak and he's really wishing wizards had google
oh God and we KNOW teddy is gonna be even more accident prone than tonks ever was....the second he starts walking harry's on red alert. his apartment is padded like a gym. so many instances where teddy will be safe on the ground and harry will look away for a SECOND only to turn back just in time to see the baby falling head first off the top of the fridge
SKDHDKK he takes him to the zoo one time and teddy pulls the vanishing glass accidental magic harry did when he was 10 only on the exhibit with wolves in it and hops right in while harry is just like
the iconic scene from full house where jesse and joey destroy the kitchen in their panic while trying to change a diaper, only it's harry and ron and it's only like 3 days after the war ended and hermione is laughing at them so hard she actually throws up
harry: can't have ptsd night terrors if I never sleep because my godson spends all night howling at the moon 😎
his wizard therapist who is trying her goddamn best: okay....but,-
*hands you a cow* *hands you a cow* *hands y
Mark Hamill is like the Tony Hawk of cartoon voice actors; in spite of the fact that he’s been doing it for decades and has played some of the most well known characters in some of the most popular shows around, everybody is still absolutely flummoxed to learn that their favourite character was voiced by Mark Hamill.
I am beside myself with this information. Absolutely dumbfounded. Spent my lunch break nearly crying in confusion and/or relevation reading a wikipedia article
I think my favourite is the short where Joker (voiced by Mark Hamill) teams up with the Trickster (voiced by Mark Hamill) to kidnap famous voice actor Mark Hamill (voiced by Mark Hamill), only for the villainous duo to be defeated by Swamp Thing (voiced by Mark Hamill).
C'mon man, you gotta at least share it!
Literally I’ve seen this post so many times and only now having watched the short do I also know that Mark Hamill assists in his own rescue by doing the voices of the Joker and Trickster to trick them into fighting and driving onto grass where Swamp Thing can capture them.
Mark said it was the only thing he’s done where he was sleeping with the entire cast.
IS THAT ANOTHER EGG??
matryoshka
Person, I hope you know you are the funniest being on this entire site. I am wHEEZING
