Jay Pharaoh’s John Mulaney impression

Holy shit

That wasn’t an impression John Mulaney possessed him

Watch the whole thing 💀

He hustled you…

He hustled you GOOD

😂😂😂😂😂

Omg🤣

@why-animals-do-the-thing why do foxes steal shit from ppl? They’re so cute but what is the purpose?

It’s because they’re habituated to people and have learned the can be a source of food. This fox obviously is no longer afraid of people, and has learned that it’s generally beneficial to it to tolerate their presence long enough to steal / get something - possibly because it’s frequently edible. Given how close it’s willing to get and how it approaches, I’d hazard a guess this is an animal who has actually been fed by people before. 

As much as it’s cute on the surface, wildlife that are habituated to people to this degree are put at a huge amount of risk - from human/animal interactions (if someone gets bit or attacked), from health issues due to potentially improper diets, and from cars due to spending a higher fraction of their time than normal in settled areas.  

I’m back! Princess Zelda from ALBW, Winner of Patreon Fanart Poll! 

I had a dream

My entry for Uniqlo’s Pokemon contest!

oscar winning actress activist humanitarian entrepreneur philanthropist bisexual icon AND archaeologist??

cool idea- bind all controls of a game to the same key and see what happens when you press it

i am gonna do it

don’t do this

I changed my mind, TikTok is Vine 2, which is amazing.

someone: hey can i ask you a personal question?

my oversharing ass already bursting to answer the question: moi?

Old People Restaurant Scam. You know the scam. Whine about perfectly good food to get some sort of comp.

In their old age, my parents befriended another older couple who would pull this stunt everywhere they went. After my mother told me a few stories about how their new friends had shown them how to get discounted or free meals, I felt like I was suddenly the responsible adult, concerned about the bad influence these people were on my parents.

While visiting my parents with my girlfriend, this other couple attended dinner with us. As I expected, the food was brought to the table and they immediately began dramatically complaining to one another about the quality/taste/temperature/etc. They were making a scene in order to attract the attention of the waitress. When our waitress returned to ask how we were doing, the miserable old bastard who played the lead role in their act took a deep breathe, struck a dramatic pose (with his hand raised to begin gesticulating for emphasis) and bega–I leaned forward and cut him off before he could finish the first word: “Everything is absolutely fantastic. It’s all great! Thank you very much!” She smiled, and began her obligatory “Great, well if you need any–” when he made a second attempt. “We come here all the time an–”. I didn’t acknowledge that he was speaking at all, repeated that all was just as we ordered and thank her again.

He was stunned and thrown off from his routine by my interruption. During this pause the waitress walked away (It seemed clear that she knew what they were trying to accomplish). He turned bright red. I turned to my girlfriend and, smiling and without lowering my voice, stated how pitiful it is that some people could be dishonest, deceitful and put at risk the livelihood of a cook, server or hostess for a pathetic discount or a free early-bird special. My passive-aggressive reverse-parenting broke my parents of the habit in short time.

And baby boomers talk shit about Millennials being entitled

As a Jimmy Johns employee for three years, the largest demographic that scams us for sandwiches are older than 40.

when people yell at retail workers/waitstaff/etc. for no reason

Oh yeah

Rob Zombie confirmed for coll fuckin’ guy

ROB ZOMBIE CONFIRMED FOR COOLEST FUCKING GUY

i love that Rob Zombie is now Baby Metal’s badass protective grandpa 

Are they actually trying to gatekeep metal from Rob fucking Zombie? Go cry some more, here’s Babymetal with Abbath.

The most beautiful thing you'll see today.

@thysilus

We love a cultured King 👏