white house weenie roast

I’d let eto kill me for sure

*holds my newborn child with my deluxe yoda hands*

somehow i always knew

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

everyone stop this is my new favorite joke ever

@ssjbear

this is true friendship my friends

i saw an opportunity and i took it

My whole inventory gotta go!!! You can’t beat these deals!!! FUCK is you doing boy!!! GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE!

true romance 💞

*Ocelot voice* Boss, take a look at what the R&D team just developed

the snake IS my boot

meeting up with old homies like

“THERE WAS SOMETHING SCARIER THAN SCARY STORIES!”

when youre home alone and you hear a sound