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crispclowner

dan and phil arent really smol beans considering theyre both over 6 feet so can we just call them beanstalks instead

because i mean dan has beanstalking phil for a while now

i am so proud of that pun you dont even understand

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Your Fave Is Problematic: Eugene Krabs

- SOLD Spongebob in S3EP16

- Brutally beat Plankton in episode S4EP2

- Animal abuse (tricked spongebob into capturing all the jellyfish in Jellyfish field just so he can use them for his own personal gain)

Has an EXTREMELY long criminal record (source)

  • Krabs counterfeits money. (The Krabby Kronicle)
  • Krabs steals newspaper. (The Krabby Kronicle)
  • Krabs publishes lies and slander in newspaper. (The Krabby Kronicle)
  • Krabs has imprisoned customers in his restaurant several times.
  • Krabs puts a person in a coma.
  • Krabs tries to steal Plankton’s formula (probably a crime). (Plankton’s Regular)
  • Krabs tries to steal food from a person and Mrs. Puff “pets”. (Growth Spout)
  • Krabs has cameras spying on his friends. (Truth or Square)
  • Krabs plagiarizes a hotel motto. (Krusty Towers)
  • Krabs poisoned all his customers with all of the Spongy Patties. (The Krusty Sponge)
  • Krabs built up an amusement park ride, which caused many lives in peril when it was breaking down. (The Wreck of the Mauna Loa)
  • Krabs worked his employees to near death. (Fear of a Krabby Patty)
  • Krabs has repeatedly violated worker rights. (Squid on Strike)
  • Krabs built up a playground entitled “Krabby Land” which caused one kid fall on a slide and may have harmed some children (if they have been playing on it) because of obvious materials being built up with. (Krabby Land)
  • Krabs stole Clamu’s pearl and all the things on the Bikini Bottom Zoo. (The Smoking Peanut)
  • Krabs uses a device to magnetize and steal money. (The Cent of Money)
  • Krabs steals the Krabby Patty secret ingredient, and then blames it on SpongeBob. (Patty Caper)
  • Krabs steals Mrs. Puff’s bus mobile and Colonel Carper’s sound equipment. (Hello Bikini Bottom)
  • Krabs stole a video camera from an airport (just mentioned). (Accidents Will Happen)
  • Krabs has opened fake stands charging money for something that is usually free. (Atlantis SquarePantisand Hello Bikini Bottom)

And committed TONS of workers rights violations (source)

  • Big Pink Loser” reveals that he makes SpongeBob pay him $100 an hour to be able to work (when the point of a job is to get money, not to spend it).
  • In “Squid on Strike,” he refuses to pay his employees, and instead makes them pay him (for reasons as ridiculous as breathing and existing).
  • In “Clams,” he rewards SpongeBob and Squidward by taking them on a fishing trip (much to Squidward’s dismay). Squidward is injured, but Krabs could care less. Mr. Krabs then loses his one millionth dollar. They search for days, until they try to leave. So Krabs threatens to starve everyone (ironically dooming himself too), and then even goes so far as to feed them to a clam.
  • In “Fear of a Krabby Patty,” he realizes that Plankton is open for 23 hours, so he opens the Krusty Krab for 24 hours. He then works SpongeBob, Squidward, and even himself to near death for 43 days straight (not letting any of them even go home).
  • One Coarse Meal” reveals that Mr. Krabs pays SpongeBob with fake money.
  • In “No Hat for Pat,” he hires Patrick to give entertainment to the customers by repeatedly falling. This eventually got to the point in which he was making Patrick fall into a bucket of sea urchins. However, at first, Patrick struggles to do so. He then realizes it was his hat making him fall. He, as well as Squidward, falls, thus causing injuries toward Squidward.
  • In “Le Big Switch” he literally sells Squidward when he goes bankrupt.
  • In “Chum Fricassee,” he uses Squidward as a doormat, only after re-hiring him.

what do you do for a living?

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