Когда твой друг идиот

Even if you want to, just like… Dont

Me on snapchat

lookin v masculine in all these not the best pics, but v masculine which makes dis boi v happy

A good video

I love when I’m studying outside and a bee is like “flower? r u a flower? I check! is laptop a flower? i check! No one here a flower… ciao!” and I wave goodbye saying thank you for visiting little bee!

Bees don’t think in English you fools. You imbeciles.

The bee said ‘ciao’ it’s obviously Italian

me spraying rosewater all over my face: this is gonna fix everything

as a kid, i used to think that telekinesis really was possible if you could focus all of your brainpower to it. obviously, i was a fucking stupid little kid.

too stupid to unlock telekinesis like everyone else apparently lmaooo

a clownboy (half clown, half cowboy) says yeehonk

this is it. the worst post i’ve ever seen. my own two eyes are cursed

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.

the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:

稽首天中天，

毫光照大千，

八風吹不動，

端坐紫金蓮

(Humbly bowed my head below all skies Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds Immovable by strong winds from eight sides Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)

on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.

(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)

can you imagine having your brutal murder described in detail to future generations

this is my new favourite story from history

TERRIFIC stuff by the cat!