Now The Whole World’s Watching You.....

A short letter to Harvey Weinstein on behalf of the women who were devalued and manipulated by your actions,

One of the hardest lines to sing and write in this song for me was….. ‘is it a fight worth fighting?' 

I believe this has been a question that women have asked themselves for years as they endured circumstances that devalued them. They feared what was at stake if they spoke out. I have heard my female musician friends tell me story after story of being disrespected at a studio or receiving physical touch where it was not wanted. I count myself included in this experience. Countless times I have been presented with a situation where I have to make infinitely clear where I stand on a romantic / sexual level so I can be respected as a professional artist and focus on the task at hand. I have attended business meetings at record labels and exchanged numbers with men of high influence after a productive, positive meeting with the thought that it would benefit my career to maintain my networks only to receive a text after midnight that night while I’m with my boyfriend at the time, asking ‘what r u up 2′. Countless times I have, like many women, wondered where and how to draw a line, is it a fight worth fighting? A flirty text message that means nothing to a man could end up meaning or risking EVERYTHING to a woman. 

We then feel shame that they may have 'led someone on’ even if we were incredibly clear that we were there to WORK. Why should women be doubted in the first place for that? Together I believe we can change the culture within our workplaces. But this will only change when there is equality established. Equality eliminates the power play. It demands respect. When there is respect, both parties listen and see eachother as professionals, not as objects to be attained or intimidated. Equality demands that both women and men are given the opportunity to be paid according to the work they have put in, not according to their gender which continues to reinforce outdated ideas around the role of women and their worth in the workplace. 

We will not have accountability until women are earning the same as men for doing the same work, until women are in positions of power in places like the film industry, the music industry, the law firms, the government… we will not see change until there are women who can speak to the culture from a position of EQUAL worth and EQUAL influence. 

I feel so fortunate to do what I do and to have such creative control over my career. I hear stories all the time of artists who are not given this, they are told what to wear, what to sing, what to say, how to be most profitable for someone else’s benefit. I promised myself that I would not play into that game, but it meant I had to create a culture within the people I worked with. And it doesn’t mean that I haven’t faced situations where I felt immense pressure.On a shoot with a stylist (from the Magazine - both will remain unnamed), I began to express some concerns around an outfit, but was reassured that 'the main thing that matters is that you look cute so guys will want to f*** you’. I swore it wouldn’t happen again and now create my own team for shoots and make it very clear that although I am proud of my body and am happy to 'look cute’ for my own enjoyment and others, it is outrageously disrespectful to think that my main concern at a photoshoot should be only to appear sexually desireable. People do photoshoots & features on me, because I am a MUSICAN, an ARTIST and a VOICE first. The rest is secondary. 

As a producer also in this industry, I have often been doubted for my ability as a technician and engineer then proved myself countless times to be the fastest Protools user in the whole room. I have experienced assumptions made that I am just the 'singer’ and had to work twice as hard to gain respect as a credible technical voice in the room (later becoming nicknamed 'Eagle Ears’ at the studio’s I work at).

If we continue to feed this culture of assumption, women will not only veer from taking roles in the more 'male dominated’ industries for fear of being doubted or not give the same opportunities, but they will also settle for less and fall victim to circumstances where they are promised opportunities in exchange for their self respect.When we learn that women are consistently being paid less than men across the board, we reinforce and permit a preconceived assumption that there is less value to the work of a women, this feeds into a culture that allows for women to be easily seen as objects rather than equals. We must fight for equality in the fields we work within. Would Harvey Weinstein have continued to get away with these crude acts if there had been a more balanced display of women and men at the top ranks? We must speak out, but we must also speak to the structures in place. 

I don’t really talk around these things often but I can’t deny my responsibility to offer my voice as a woman in a largely male dominated industry, I am not only working everyday in a line of work that often makes the assumption I am less capable, I have made it my goal each day to let my WORK speak for itself, but if we continue to undermine the work of women by saying it is worth less and therefore paying less than the same work of men, then we will never get to the true core of why these things continue to happen in industries where men abuse their positions of power.

Yes, it is. Will it cause trouble? Yes, it may. Will it put your job at risk? Very possible. Could it prove as a chance for you to speak to the structures and demand justice where there is so little? Definitely. Could it empower someone else to fight back for their self respect and speak out also? Yes. Could it cause other men to speak out in support and hold their fellow work friends accountable? Yes, and this is the only way we’ll create change. If we stand together on the same team, for women to be treated with equal respect and worth in their fields of work. I’m hopeful for the future. 

To Harvey Weinstein, the whole world’s watching you. So what will you do?

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0d3XbH12cs)

It’s been a while since I posted something new here but I am particularly proud of this remix I made in collaboration with Young Dreams to reimagine the track ‘Oban’ by Jaga Jazzist from their last album Starfire. I wanted to share it with all of you! It is also on Spotify & iTunes as of today! 

Jaga Jazzist are an instrumental band from Norway and one of my favorite bands, constantly pushing musical boundaries, I hope you will check out all their records. A way I like to stay inspired and push myself creatively is to re-approach my favorite songs as a way to honour them and unveil different aspects of the original song. When the opportunity arose to reinterpret Oban I was really excited at the challenge of developing such an incredibly dimensional and technicolour piece into more of a 'pop’ style arrangement.

Young Dreams made an instrumental rework of the original song set in a psychedelic 70’s world. I fell in the mood of it and added a vocal and lyric in homage to that era of soul ballads. We then collaborated on the final arrangement/ production, and after our back and forth we ended up with an entirely new song titled ‘Relative Peace’.

I wrote the lyric about a relationship torn by one lovers need to find comfort in stability over their passions…. the melancholy of desire when not returned, and when traded for safety and ease.

I felt a great sense of longing and tension in Jaga Jazzist’s original, and the instrumental by Young Dreams brought a romance to the song so I felt I wanted to encompass these two worlds when I approached the song. I wanted to explore the facade of ‘happiness’ and ‘relative peace’ that we often wear in efforts to pacify a deeper longing. The melancholy of desire when not returned, or when traded for safety over passions.

Hope you enjoy and make sure you check out the original song by Jaga Jazzist here:

You can hear more of their music here

www.facebook.com/jagajazzist www.jagajazzist.com @jagajazzistofficial

...as well as Young Dreams at :

www.youngdreams.com @youngdreamsband

RELATIVE PEACE

woe I’m in memory never can win i'm dreaming i was next to you to you to you

all this empty space used to be full up of him dreaming now will never do won’t do won’t do won't do

oh baby I tried so hard to make you come back tell me does she treat you right? does she lie? does she write? does she call back?

oooo oh baby you make me wanna take back whats mine no more running around you time won't bring another

say you're living in a 'relative peace' i'm on my knees

what good is my plea if you're relatively happy?

know i make you weak now we never speak I still know what you think about

I know what you need say you're losing sleep tell me does she treat you right? tell me does she treat you good?

ooh baby tried so hard to make you come back ooh baby you make me wanna take back whats mine she's like Jekyll around you then Hyde when the night comes

but every time i look at your face baby there’s a part of me, there in your eyes tell me does she treat you good?

cos baby i’d be living a lie if i don’t say anything i won’t take it too far darling does treat you good?

you say you’re living in… a relative peace you say you’re living in… a relative peace

It’s been a while since I uploaded a bedroom cover to my blog/soundcloud. Sometimes I get inspiration to reinterpret and reimagine the songs I love... Just by myself at home... as a way to let off some creative steam... this is one I made yesterday while testing out some new synths. It’s called ‘Seigfried’ by Frank Ocean. 

It’s off his brilliant new album, 'Blond’. (Get on it). Hope you enjoy my vision of it x 

(Listen loud). x

Song by Frank Ocean Produced, mixed by Kimbra Art by David Hockney

Reflections on Prince (The Beautiful One)

Those of you who read my blog know that I use this as a space to dive deeper into the music and share some of my inspirations behind it.

There is perhaps no other artist in the world who has inspired me as much as Prince.

Yesterday was a heavy day, it’s as though the world tilted off balance for a moment… to go from talking about someone as a current, modern-day innovator and someone I have also been blessed to cross paths with, to then speaking about that same person in the past tense is a very shocking shift. I struggle to articulate things I feel when I’m limited to short sound-bytes and our short-form social media culture makes it hard to truly express the depth of our feelings at times. So, I’ve turned to a longer format in order to try process my feelings around Prince’s death. It helps to write it down as I can candidly reflect on just how meaningful his influence has been in my life (and what I can learn from it) but also I see it as a way of maybe honoring his legacy and inviting you deeper into his artistry through the eyes of how I knew and looked up to him, from a distance.

Prince, entirely changed the way I make, listen, think and feel about music. He held the tension between pop and experimental music in ways that have shaped me and given me the courage to pursue these sides of myself as an artist. He could be aggressive and explosive in ways that felt completely unhinged and sometimes on the brink of madness, then hold the most gentle, sensual and elegant posture in the next breath. He rode the line between masculine and feminine, unveiling characters we recognized in ourselves… he spoke of the animal, and the god within, the primal beast and the humble soul seeking cosmic significance and oneness with god… he NEVER apologized for the things he wrote about and never censored his art to pacify the masses… he was controversial and daring but never cheaply shocking, he lived inside a paradox, balancing opposites and holding the tension. As he evolved musically, spiritually and emotionally, he continued to produce work, never looking back, never being defined by anything he released, but fearlessly expressing himself with an unapologetic passion that completely captured me from the day I bought ‘Musicology’ as a 14yr old in a record store in New Zealand to the day I stood in front of him at the Grammy’s in 2013. Prince inspired me to push forward in my ambitions and never set limitations to the kind of artist I will be. He didn’t let anyone define him and also showed the world that even when people tried to challenge that, he would always fight to release his art. He was never pushed down by the structures put on him. His artistry and expression had no bounds.

And Yes, that’s right, I said ‘Musicology’. The first Prince album I properly lived inside. So I came to Prince pretty late, but in some ways I feel this album allowed me to discover Prince in a different way than perhaps others did. I didn’t have the context of Purple Rain or the notion that he was as big of a star as I later realized. I knew his name but it was this moment that I crossed from being curious to being enamored. I remember seeing the video for Musicology on Juice TV in New Zealand and buying the album for myself at my local record store. For months after I remember singing Call My Name at the top of my lungs in my bedroom.

Next, I ventured deeper and discovered his very first album, For You. This was around the time I was myself building arrangements and making demos completely from vocals. I heard the opening song for this record and just couldn’t believe the musicality and craft within this song. Not only was he 20years old when he made this album but he played everything on it and produced it himself.

It wasn’t long till I was completely deep in Prince’s entire catalogue. I’d become obsessed. I found so much fulfillment in his songs… there were many of the same things I appreciated in modern r&b music but when Prince did it, it was different…. the dimension and texture of everything felt tactile, deeply intentional and soulful like nothing I’d heard before. There was a constant sense of unease and wildness, as if he might jump OUT of the stereo at any moment… everything provoked such a deep reaction in me. I had become fascinated with a lot of experimental music at this time and also heavy rock and metal. I started to see threads of Prince in so much of the music I had been listening to. His influence became evident everywhere. He was the starting point for so much of what I gravitated to in the music I’d come to love. Of course, his own starting points were in Sly, George Clinton, Jimi Hendrix, and naturally it was Prince who pointed me to their music too. I’d found a kindred musical mind and a kind of permission to own all the juxtapositions of my own musical exploration.

My interest in production started with a fascination for Prince albums also. There was something dangerous about the production on his records, he left jagged edges. You could feel sweat, there was something so real about it. I had found an artist that truly showed me the scope of possibilities that one could explore as a pop artist. The progressive, genre-bending, psychedelic aspects of my current favorite bands at the time were all elements I now discovered in Prince records. I found myself referencing his songs in almost every musical conversation, no matter the genre of the artist. I began to realize that so much of the music I loved (even the heavy metal I was listening to) ultimately traced back to funk. And my father of Funk was Prince. He took me to school. While my friends went to university and studied their degrees, I studied this artist and the records he made. I continue to tell people that almost everything I need to learn as a producer and a songwriter are found in his albums.

In 2011 I signed to Warner Bros and began working with Lenny Waronker, who signed Prince to the label as an 18year old and continued to work closely with him over the years. I remember my first visit to Warner Bros and seeing photos of him all over the wall. I couldn’t believe he had walked the same floors, sat in the same rooms as I had… He also fought huge battles in that building and I knew this was home to a lot of stories. Lenny often shares stories with me about Prince and there are a few I’ll never forget. Like the one where Prince played him, ‘When Doves Cry’. Lenny explained that Prince had concerns about there being no bass in the song. I couldn’t believe it, Prince with a concern about his song?! Part of me felt he must be free of self-doubt. But something about this story reminds me that he had moments of fear about fitting into the constructs or at least the idea of what a song should be. Prince explained that he felt the song was finished. But he also knew most of his songs centered heavily around bass. Could he leave it like this? He played it for Lenny. Lenny got so lost in the song, he hardly noticed it. He told him it would probably be fine with a bass line if he added it, but it sounds great as it is, and he should probably just put it out. And so he did.

I think of this story when I’m struggling with my own art and questioning wether something fits neatly into a genre or traditional song format and doubting it if it doesn’t. Prince had a relentless trust in his instinct, and that was something that he stood by no matter what. His instincts and intuition. Luckily, the best A&R’s knew to get out of the way and let that intuition ultimately drive things.

When the album ‘Diamonds and Pearls’ was played for Warner Brothers back in 1991…no one knew where it would fit. Record executives were sure there was no song for Urban Radio. When this information was passed onto Prince he simply said ‘it sounds like you’ve got a marketing problem’ and hung up. Lenny tells me this story while laughing, he fondly reflects on Prince’s stark honesty. But he notes that he was also an intent listener, and incredibly smart and up for a challenge. After hanging up the phone, he went back into the studio over the weekend. Monday morning came around and he called Lenny saying ‘you’ve got a new baby’. He’d written a new song. Lenny said he remembered Prince coming in with the song and looking ‘so damn good’…. then there it was, ‘Get Off’. Dark, dirty, provoking, a slick fit for urban radio and undeniably brilliant.

When people didn’t know what to do with him, he would tell them to work it out, then come back with something even better, he could play the game, but the game never played him. No record that Prince ever made was easily marketable in terms of definable genres or subject material. He was a force that stood entirely in his own league, unmatched and ever-evolving. One thing that inspires maybe the most about Prince is his wildly prolific and varied catalogue. When we sit and go through his albums now we will see it from start to finish, and it’s truly the journey of an unstoppably creative spirit constantly navigating and shifting but never being held to any one piece of art he makes, instead, he was always looking forward.. there’s a lightheartedness, a lack of preciousness even, to the way Prince has released music over the years. His experimentation and exploration is played out before us in his records. It is not a neat, manicured body of work…. it’s raw, visceral and most of all, captures a moment.

Making Vows was a time where I grew my appreciation of the deep craft of Prince as the songwriter and producer. I remember the day we started production on Old Fame because Francois Tetaz has started introducing me to Purple Rain in a deeper way than I’d ever known it. Together we studied The Beautiful Ones. To this day this remains one of my all-time favorite songs and what I believe to be perfectly crafted in emotion, groove, intensity, texture, subtlety, soul and passion. The drum beat in this song evoked so much in me, it was so punchy, but then the dream synths came in and the pitch shifting drone of the one high string drunkenly wailing over the whole arrangement. 

The yearning in Prince’s songs struck such a chord in my own mode of expression. He sang in a way that so abandoned and spoke to my soul. He never let his voice stay tied to one sound or space. He would send tingles up your spine in a chilling low tone, eerie and creepy then flaunt the most impeccable falsetto that would dance and shimmer over the song. His voice to me was an incredible instrument. Coupled with his fierce guitar playing and ear for production and songwriting, I had found all the things I aspired to in one artist. He could write a song so seemingly simple and lullaby-like, then sneak in dazzling complexities for those who scratched beneath the surface. He could twist a song on its head while keeping you captivated and immersed the entire time. As freaky as it got, it always maintained a sense of the familiar. Every time I heard his songs, I would hear new textures and detect new subtleties in the landscapes that I hadn’t heard before. He left things raw enough for the listener to go inside and feel for themselves. Even when the production turned shinier in latter albums, there was always a danger to the way things interacted in the arrangements, a kind of untamed energy so that even though he could shift the sound worlds dramatically they always felt authentically Prince - in the way they could grab you at the throat one minute then caress you the next. But he never shut the listener out with tricks. The syncopation was like hypnosis. The dissonance evoked intrigue, instead of isolating the audience. This balance of depth and accessibility is my endless fascination with Prince.

Prince was fiercely prolific and Crystal Ball is an example of this. Originally released as a 3disc set, with a bonus 4th disc of Prince just on acoustic guitar. He held just as much command in this setting. The fourth disc includes another of my favorite songs, Dionne. I loved to unveil these gems within Princes world. Little pieces of the puzzle. I felt like I was in on a secret when I heard some of these bootlegged songs. It was so exciting to dig through and discover .

The title track of Crystal Ball quickly became another of my favorites by Prince. I would love asking people, ‘but have you heard Crystal Ball?! I’d sit them down and make them listen to this entire almost 11 minute song and pointing out my favorite parts while it panned psychedelically around the speakers. The song made me feel like I was on a trip and I couldn’t believe his ability to move in these avant garde worlds as effortlessly as he did in a song like ‘Kiss’. ‘Expert Lover, my babe… Ever had a crystal ball?’ I would listen to it over and over. He assigned Camille (alter ego) to some of these freakier tunes and I loved how this character could exist in its own little world, this strange genderless character he would bring into songs. Prince was the first artist that led me to explore characters in my music. I would always write for different characters in my music, and hear arrangements as conversations between dark and light or just different voices within myself. When I heard the way Prince cast himself in so many characters in his songs, I felt that permission for my music to also explore these different voices and create fun roles for them.

There were so many sides to Prince and ways in which he expressed himself but there was another side to his music that maybe wasn’t as well known or far-reaching, and those were his songs exploring faith. To this day, one of my all time favorite gospel songs is one written by Prince himself called, The Cross.   I’ll never forget the power I found from this song when I first listened to it and how it has continued to empower me in my own faith journey. The lack of fear in proclaiming his truth is endlessly inspiring to me. He moves in and out of subject matters that seem almost frivolous, temporal one minute then profound, sacred and mystical the next, all of this so deeply reflecting our own fragmented navigation through a life of both spirit and flesh.

Fast-forward to 2013 and I was suddenly at the Grammys with my friend Wally for a song called Somebody I Used to Know. I remember our faces when we saw Prince on stage, and the genuine shock and amazement of our all-time musical idol standing in front of us. I remember thinking to myself ‘I wonder who the person will be to receive an award from Prince!!!…that must be the ultimate honour ever!!….’ …. For a moment I completely forgot we were even in the category. My attention was so focused on the fact that he was up there that I forgot that there was a chance he was holding OUR names in that envelope. Then he said it. Gotye and Kimbra. He also said, ‘I love this song’. He removed his shades and handed us the award. My smile was so big it was starting to hurt, my face was holding that kind of look elation that verges on tragedy, almost paralyzed in an ecstatic wonderment… I remember our gazes locking and him bowing his head subtly and gracefully. When it came time to speak, I was still only thinking about Prince. Yes we had won a Grammy, but PRINCE was standing next to us with his cane and impeccable outfit and he has just honored US. All I could do when it came to my turn on the mic was to thank him. The inspirer and innovator who came first. Hearing these words come out of my mouth : ‘I just want to thank Prince’ and to look over and see him there graciously accepting… well, that was quite unforgettable.

I never interacted with Prince directly after that night although there were a couple of moments where it nearly happened. Prince had requested for security and a reservation of seats at one of our past shows in Minneapolis although he never arrived (not an uncommon occurrence for one of the worlds most mysterious superstars). I was also asked us to perform at Paisley Park last year and although I was off my touring cycle when the request came through, we had planned to make it one of the first shows on announcement of a new record.

Aside from feeling a sense of loss that our paths may not directly meet again (at least in this physical realm), my most treasured memory involving Prince was probably a text conversation I had with my friend Janelle Monae last year. I had been asked to give my favorite 10 Prince songs for an interview piece by an Australian blog and Janelle mentioned to me that Prince had seen it, he wanted her to tell me that he loved The Golden Echo and his favorite song is ‘Carolina’.

I’ll never forget that feeling of knowing that something I had created had ended up in Prince’s stereo and he had listened to it and even picked a favorite track. It was such a high honor and encouragement to be acknowledged by my idol and that’s something I’ll always hold so close.

I am so grateful that I got these small personal glimpses into the world of Prince. I was lucky to see him perform once in Melbourne. It was incredible and exceeded all expectations of Prince as a force of musicianship, soul and the Father of Funk that I came to learn from over the years. He he has passed on to be with the others now but what a gift we have in the music he left behind. He will always be the strange and Beautiful One to me, and I can’t speak higher words of the influence his music has had on me and others I have known. I feel there is a baton we must take up now as artists of the younger generation. His spirit lives on through us. I’ll be forever grateful we were all able to experience true artistry like this and I encourage everyone to dig deep into the discography with a reverence for the joy and magic that lies there.

Kimbra

The Dark Nights of The Soul

Part 1

I have been thinking a lot about the role of pain and suffering in our lives.

We live in a world that would rather run from feelings of discomfort than face them head on or worse, live inside them for a period of time. We have worked out ways where we can avoid seasons of what the ancient Mystics described as, 'the dark night of the soul'. To me these are times when we carry heavy burdens and are left with the emptiness of our own loneliness which can lead to fear, perhaps negative inner voices, maybe even an existential crisis which can threaten to derail us from our true selves. We make great efforts to set up a sense of security (for those of us living in the West, this is probably found in establishing our own ‘identity’ or 'sense of self' but for many in the rest of the world, this security may be found in just knowing you have enough food and money to survive) so that when it is shaken it can feel like the world is ending. 

Either we face these pains or we deny them in order to convince ourselves they’re not real. Could it be we actually need these experiences of pain to teach us life’s most important lessons? To expose and evolve us into the people we’re truly destined to be?

Are we running from this confrontation with pain out of fear for how it will change us?I am coming to believe that change is exactly what we are here for. To grow, evolve and to become more and more human and divine at the same time. The human experience must involve pain and suffering purely because it is only in these moments that we are forced to stop and listen to our lives (or as CS Lewis put it,  “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to”) and further, to endure and discover a strength within us that we could never have known were it not for these seasons of darkness. 

It has been said that one must die to themselves, to find themselves. More and more I am beginning to understand this, but I also realize how in conflict this thinking is it to our culture which is built on a system of human beings establishing a very strong identity for themselves and holding on extremely tight to who you think you are. But then comes a moment where all of that us challenged and we are forced to reassess who we are entirely! 

In these moments, a space opens up in us that is far bigger than any constructed idea of an identity can fill. A space opens for us to become a part of a story, a bleeding organism, a body of people who find their purpose in serving one another through their gifts and also through their pains. My pain and suffering has grown a new empathy in me. I think when you have truly suffered, you begin to look at a person differently when they share their own story. You look, and you see your brother or sisters pain. You really see it. You don’t just observe it from a distance and eventually be led to judge if you don’t understand where their pain comes from since it is outside your realm of experience. If you have not lived with pain in an honest way, you may even be very afraid of that persons suffering, it is a feeling you can’t find a reference point for. Often we are scared of the unknown and rush to define it quickly so that we remain unchallenged by what life is trying to teach us.I recently read a book called Letters to A Young Poet and connected deeply with this quote about feelings of sadness producing fear simply because they are unknown and the mind and body hasn’t yet developed a way to deal with it.

Part 2

This past year I have encountered a lot of unfamiliar feelings that I look back on now like teachers who were sent to somehow shape me with the invaluable lessons that only pain and suffering can teach. Through taking time to really sit inside these emotions, I’ve found within myself a hope and faith that can exist regardless of external circumstances. Although weak, this small flicker of light was enough to fuel an entire fire and eventually fan into flames far grander than I could have ever imagined. An invaluable joy and acceptance. I feel as though this hope was put through a time of testing in order to prove that it truly was enough to see me through. We all need these moments of witnessing our own strength to overcome. To realize that our pain and suffering are not in vain and they are not meaningless. How we respond and allow ourselves to be changed by times of pain are what truly make us human. These experiences shape the person we are to become. Through these seasons of darkness, I felt constant temptations to become victimized and feel powerless to the feelings of isolation and fear. There are moments when we are not sure wether we are strong enough to withstand the jolts and inner tornadoes that life can throw at us but my belief is that we only truly grow to understand each other and ourselves from spending periods in this unfamiliar (or perhaps very familiar for some people) space, in order to reaffirm what is important to us and perhaps be stripped of the obstacles in our way. Perhaps to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves.

There are times on stage where I feel like I lose my sense of self altogether… the moment takes on a timeless quality, the space feels unbound and I feel a deep sensation of oneness with the sounds and people in the room. These are always the shows I enjoy the most, where I am abandoned and lacking in self-consciouness. True love casts out all fear. In these moments I experience a kind of unconditional love and transcendence that detaches me from thought or judgement, and plunges me into a state of purity.

As I have encountered more pain in my life, music have become less about myself and more about service. Realizing the power music has to speak to the soul in a way that words can’t, I feel devoted to it. I am in awe of how music has the ability to connect us in such a mysterious and mystical truth. My pain is set free in these moments but also given a worth. I am reminded that we do not suffer in vain but that it is a reminder of what binds us as human beings, this daily decay of our bodies is a constant proof of our finiteness yet we have this ability to be transported beyond our finite existence. In these moments we glance a small window into the infinite and realize that it lives within us. The possibility is opened wide in these communal experiences of music or art that inspires us. 

We glimpse an expansiveness within ourselves and a capacity for love that seems to go beyond the realm of our day to day experiences…. and further, this capacity is made possible through pain and suffering. As we sit in our pain, we find in us the ability to transcend it, to see a way out and therefore know that it is possible. During a recent yoga practice, I was introduced to this quote that has really stuck with me :

Our destruction is our renewal. Our suffering can become our redemption. We can endure with hope and be shaped by our darker moments. Fear is only cast out by love. But love must be received and space must be created in order to receive. Suffering challenges our sense of self, moves us toward humility, a place where we can understand grace, the gift of love, not something to be earned and fought for, running from anything that stands in our way. There is purpose to the pain that we face, in whatever form it takes.

Part 3

My time in Ethiopia taught me that pain is relative. It is not something to be compared and seen as different between simply because one seems more intense than the other. From the outside it may be so, but for that person, the pain could be just as potent and paralyzing as the others. It could be in the context of a women with HIV, struggling to support her 5 children and stay alive because of the lack of work and the stigma surrounding her illness, her life may have seen rape, murder, all kinds of injustices and yet she is still struggling to survive and faces fear everyday for her life. This kind of suffering seems incomparable to someone in my position or maybe your position. If we live in the West we have access to resources and wealth that most people could hardly dream of, we are not fearing for our lives and have far more than we need to eat and be entertained, yet we still face incredibly dark moments and suicide rates that continue to skyrocket. We have systems of denial and distraction that lead us to breakdowns and fears or addictions that boil down to the exact same set of emotions: fear… loneliness… confusion.. pain… suffering. My pain is relative to my realm of experience and my incredibly unique set of circumstances, just as yours are.

The women I met in Ethiopia had faced things I can’t even comprehend yet I saw in them all experience the same emotional struggles that I have faced in my own ways. Heartbreak is everywhere and fear comes in many forms. Every single human being faces these things and I realized that this was ultimately what connected me with these women as we held hands at the women’s centre talking about the hardest moments in our lives. They told me stories of injustice, pain, loss, sickness and I was often brought to tears at just how hard life has been for them, but when it came time for me to share some hard moments in my life, I saw these women change from victims sitting in a circle to mothers all reaching out to me with equally tear-filled eyes as I told them (slightly embarrassingly) the story of how I left my homeland when I was 17 and missed my family often because I only get to see them once a year. 

One could say this is a small in comparison and almost petty pain to compare with the things these woman have been through but to see them look upon me with such love and understanding was a moment I will never forget. They knew the bonds of family. It is everything to them. Although they had very tough lives, they did still have each other… their community and their children to love (although they feared they could not give them good lives). Their hearts broke at the thought of me being away from my family across oceans and they understood that we all share the same pains because they are relative to what we have known and experienced. 

No one can tell you your pain is less than another’s, it is a void that lives inside you and the intensity of depression and anxiety can be just as numbing and paralyzing to a persons life as the kinds of suffering I beared witness to while I was in Africa. We are all bound by love and we are all broken by it. Where one person is broken by famine, another is broken by infidelity…. one experiences the loss of a father, one experiences the loss of their identity in an existential crisis or acute panic attack. I feel a new empathy within myself as I come to understand this. A celebration of the pains we have all lived through rather than a need to run from them and design a life that blocks them out.

For a long time I had a fear of physical pain. It’s not uncommon to fear needles etc of course but I was very resistant to discomfort and I think this also bled into a fear of uncomfortable circumstances and difficulties in life. I’ve always had very high expectations for myself, standards I would often fight to attain in an obsessive way, perhaps to avoid a feeling of vulnerability, which may open a chance for pain and suffering to overtake. It is not uncommon to feel fear arise in unfamiliar circumstances but for me this could prove to be very hard when so much of my life is about stepping into unfamiliar territories - in fact my very spirit thrives in this space! - but alongside this joy of new situations, there can also be a resistance - fear can build into obstacles that ultimately need to be knocked down. Sometimes there’s only one way for that to happen. Through a season of pain and suffering where we are forced to reassess and stare our fears in the face… We either fall victim to them, or endure the ‘dark night’ and transcend it.

Part 4

This year I got my first tattoo. While being highly symbolic for me, it was also a deeply spiritual act as I learned to sit inside a controlled form of pain and wait till it passed in a state of surrender. I felt the deep desire to mark this time of my life after returning from Ethiopia. This entering into a new relationship with pain, symbolized through a physical experience of pain. My fear of the unfamiliar was uprooted in this act and it gave birth to a radical acceptance. It was a deep act of devotion to myself and to the lessons I have learned from pain. I drew a design for my arm that would represent 3 things I want to be reminded of always. Joy, grace & pain. I drew 3 lines like roots along my veins marking how these experiences had now entered my bloodstream and the very flesh of who I am. To remind me that our experiences are ultimately gifts that can never be taken from us, memories to hold onto and perhaps they will become a compass for how we will live in light of them.

- Rilke

The first stem was inspired by the sacred markings I observed on the necks of women in Ethiopia, reflective of their devotion, but also their endurance and courage. I discovered a joy on this trip that was unlike any other I’d felt before - a new capacity for love - I think of all they taught me and the way my spirit danced during that time whenever I look at it. 

The middle stem is a cross; also a symbol of suffering. In fact, literally an instrument of death in a historical sense, but to me, a symbol of hope that is only fully understood within the context of pain. Spirituality and faith is a path of seeking that will never cease for me, but along the way I have always found great courage in the symbol of the cross and what it says about our humanity and our ability to overcome. Ultimately it speaks of our connection to a love that is greater and living within all of us, perhaps only fully realized in the face of pain…. in the moments of our humility…. the moments when we forgive…. when we offer ourselves in service to another instead of trying to control them. 

When I reflect on my my greatest musical ‘highs’ on stage, I don’t feel any ownership in those moments. I feel more like a vessel or as my friend Ruban Nielson put it : ‘like an antennae to god, simply downloading’. I want to remind myself of this everyday. Although the cross has been a symbol to support many inhumane and un-servicing acts throughout history, at it’s core it symbolizes hope and redemption. These days I hold little faith in the word ‘christian’ or the institutionalized ‘church' but I have a lot of faith in what the cross represents and my own experiences in coming to understand this. If we are destined to endure pain as christ did (though we all experience pain indifferent ways), we are perhaps also destined to posses a divinity that allows us a way to find meaning in suffering. 

As someone who grew up with no religious or spiritual direction whatsoever, I have been drawn back time and time again to the profoundness of this message but also to the call of unconditional love that exists for everyone despite our circumstances and individual experiences. By seeking this core message I have been led to teachers like Thomas Merton and Father Laurence Freeman who sparked my explorations into the mystic writers of Buddhism, Judaism and Islam - this learning has led me into a far deeper engagement with faith and an excitement at the possibilities for real transcendence in life.  To me, this cross symbolizes a love that lacks fear

... It’s a reality I want to move deeper into.... a place where there is no judgement... where pain is a chisel that carves away at the ego within man and all it’s delusions of grandeur. .. it carves to make space for a new understanding of myself as just one part in the whole. 

To me, the cross also says we are connected vertically (both heaven and earth live within us) and connected horizontally (with each and every person surrounding us and our very planet itself).A symbol is only as good as the meaning it leads you to reflect upon. This is what I see.

The last stem is a simple depiction of ‘the dark night of the soul’. Blackness. Darkness. A mark to symbolize that place of pain. Next to it are the grace and joy but they don’t remove the scars that pain leaves with us. We are changed by it. We are broken by it. It doesn’t always heal fully, but alongside the hope we have found, it is made beautiful. We are messy and glorious human beings.  Imperfection is in its own way, perfect. The order in nature is wild and seen sometimes as chaos to the eye that doesn’t understand. But the seasons pass and after the seed self-destructs, it gives birth.

Part 5

Limitation and imperfection are not things we’ve grown to love in our modern life. But yet we are all faced with it. I personally live in a world where I can present a highly manicured version of myself to the world and appear to be without limitation, able to achieve my goals and given permission to explore myself as an artist and make money doing it. Yet, we all know artists are perhaps the most tortured when it comes to insecurity and being highly flawed while under pressure to present a version of yourself to the world - a version which many people have now grown to love. We are now all able to filter a version of ourselves to the world. While setting up a standard of perfection (be it on social media or even in just in our minds), we naturally feel pressured to meet that standard. A standard that doesn’t even exist except in the space of our ideals and fantasies. Part of my journey has been in accepting the perfection that lies within our moments of humanity and weakness. The very fact that someone is limited and imperfect yet able to transcend and display beauty through their brokenness is what makes life so wildly fascinating and extraordinary.

This year I met Stevie Wonder and stood right next to him while he sung for a crowd of people with flashing cameras on his 60th Birthday celebration. I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I watched a man completely surrendered to service and abandoned to his gift while being so ‘limited’ and ‘imperfect’ by our worldly standards. His eyes don’t work like everyone else’s, this is a major limitation and imperfection of the body (one might say) yet I felt in the presence of an angel when he sang. My focus was not even on the man himself, but on what flowed out of him and the ability to move beyond what the world see’s as a ‘hinderance’ and be used as a vessel for such incredible healing to the world. Beauty out of brokenness. An acceptance of oneself that leads to a transcendence!

After a small accident in high school I broke my right arm and it never healed fully, as a result I can’t extend my right arm like my left arm. It is stunted before it fully extends and instead locks in an awkward position. It is of no major importance except that it reminds me of the odd and stranger parts of my body. This is where my three lines of my remembrance are. I can look there everyday and accept my body with all of its quirks. The parts that don’t do everything they’re supposed to. The imperfections that in a way are quite perfect and make me unique. I feel I am letting go of the need to strive for some perfect ideal and acknowledging the beauty in brokenness. The ability to move past pain or limitation and be used for great good in the world, despite our scars. Maybe even, because of them.

Remembrance is a discipline. I’ve found it so important to keep reminding myself of what I have learnt along this journey and although the stumbling never stops, to get up and continue failing better each time is far better than to stop growing altogether. Knowing that I am evolving as I surrender to all that pain has to teach me. I’ve decided to not let memories of painful moments veer me away from them, but to remind me of my ability to overcome. We all have the ability to experience great joy and even when it is denied us we can think back to the times when we were strong and summon this courage to face it again. Maybe this time, with less fear and more love.

Part 6

Can we even make friends with the darkness? Maybe not. But can we live there and perhaps find solace in the emptiness? This is hard when our world is designed around more things to fill the void. When we are faced with our own loneliness it can be very scary and unfamiliar, but these days I have come to think these are perhaps our most spiritual moments. The emptiness is created within us so that it can be filled, and what joy there is to find fullness of life within its utter simplicity. 

The tree does not sit and reflect on itself, it simply is. It serves its purpose and is nourished by its connection to the living earth. It lives in a harmony receiving all that it needs to grow from the nutrients that are given. It is pruned to make for better growth, all that it does not need is cut off. In the winter is is stripped bare and in the spring it reaps a harvest. It gives birth again. Perhaps in our states of darkness we can remember the tree’s in their various seasons and trust that they too experience stages of emptiness. But they are not forgotten by the earth.

Listen to your life. Share what you hear. Let it grow and never stagnate. Remember your pain and don’t be afraid to face it again. But this time, perhaps with a new understanding. Pain is there to teach you something and although we are never able to control the things that happen to us (life IS uncertainty after all) we are able to influence the situation. Maybe in the words we speak to ourselves, maybe in the reminders we look to, maybe in the messages that affirm our strength to overcome, maybe in reaching out or letting go, maybe on our knees in prayer, maybe in simply waiting for the season to pass, maybe by actively facing the fear - something I have done this year - proving that I don’t have to feel victim to the dark spaces I can find myself in. We each have a different path to take in overcoming, but I write this only to share some of what I have learnt and to honour the gift we have to help each other in times of need. 

If you read no other book this year, just try to read this, ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’ by Viktor E Frankl. I’ll end with a quote of his because I think it sums everything up very well. Be lifted.

As some of you know I recently went to Ethiopia and was incredible moved by the trip and the women I met there. I have some incredible footage and photos from the trip a lot of which I am still putting together but I thought I would share a few sneak peaks here at The Catacombs. 

Below are two videos I made about the trip, in the the style of a video diary.

Video Diary from Ethiopia Pt. 1:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4OWUU9ocpI

Video Diary from Ethiopia Pt. 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i71vwEspbg

I felt very compelled to share my feelings while I was away and I am so humbled to know that it has really touched people and inspired them. I encourage anyone who has ever thought about traveling to Africa to spend time discovering the heart of Tirzah and the work they do with women in children, partnering with Ethiopians to help be a support where needed. (www.tirzahinternational.org). Words and images are powerful but  nothing is more impactful than the human touch. I hope some of you will get to have the experiences I did one day!

So in order to share a bit more of trip with you, I wanted to add some of my favorite photos from the trip (some of them taken by me & a lot of them taken by the talented Caitlin Flint - a sister I travelled with). 

They are a collection of snapshots which capture some of the life changing moments and unforgettable faces I encountered. I’ll never forget the new capacity for love and joy that I experienced over there. The greatest thing I took away from Ethiopia is the expansive compassion that people have for one another and the new space I discovered in my own heart for inspiration, love and joy. When I forget that I look through some of these photos and feel transported back to that laughter, and am able to take it wherever I am on my own travels. Hope you enjoy. 

OH ETHIOPIA

patience patience her time will come

broken queen of sheba a promise written on her bones africa arise she will show them what she knows I saw a vision and it won’t let me go patience patience she will reap all that she sows

sing out from mount entoto where the teff grass grows high and the barley burns in the hands of black widows

where the children laugh and stain the land with hope and a future yet unknown patience patience they shall reap what they sow

preparing the land for a great harvest deep roots will penetrate the virgin land she has been waiting for a lover to come pure and forgiven

christ took the debt bloodshed on the mountain holy water won’t heal the wounds but the scarred hands of love will make all things new

we are the hands and feet reaching out to the forgotten many creased skin and hollow eyes small peaking portals to a sky

light spews through the cracks good news carried for miles on her back fire wood, bricks, candles and stone she fights her way she fights all alone

this is where the women cry then wipe their salt away with a smile shackles on their twisted ankles heirs of a lost heritage now they come to claim back a royal mess but it returns as a message a fragmented gospel a woman by the well beggars hands turn to blessing the land rejoices in her kiss

this is where the untouchables unite where they kneel and go to pray god hears their song while the priests push them away high on a mountain close to heavens eye sleep brings solace on the dirty ground they lie in a mud hut their temples rise out of the dust

‘don’t lay your hands on us’ they cry hush hush sisters we softly proclaim the face of grace holds no condemnation no one will break the bond of mother ethiopia and her children of god apple of queen sheba’s eye emperor’s descendants africa’s delight

this is where the first woman rose from the ancient homo sapien throne we are the hands and the feet once primitive and mute now alive and speaking truth justice held inside a shaking fist let it pour out from the holy eucharist see the veil is now torn and all are called to break bread and step out from the shadows now there are no gates and no walls

oh ethiopia cradle of mankind womb of humanity gods very own spine

she breaks but is not broken a new seed is soon to grow patience patience she will reap what she has sown

beggars hands turn to blessing they will lead her to the new morrow the stones and trees will cry out if we do not singing will burst out from the sorrow so let us lift voices and write a glory song be not troubled for hope is here

africa arise there are new children to bear for now there is no male no female no black no white only love in the body of a broken christ

patience patience her time has come no longer will she be wronged this war has been won now follow in the footsteps of a people strong ancient, proud, where you belong beggars hands turn to blessing the eye that see’s becomes the heart that knows soon she will reap all that she has sown

join voices from mount entoto sing loud across the land redemption redemption from the dust and the sand glory has been bestowed queen of sheba shines on the land of scorched faces carrying torches to the cross the burden of a hundred generations

oh ethiopia the broken bride veiled in a vision and a promise justice inside that shaking fist heartbeat of the pulsing river Nile from the summit of pain births a new bloodline no longer does she live in shame

we are the hands and the feet this is where we come to speak to touch and place our fingers in the palms and reach through the wounded holes find new beauty out of the burning charcoal

sweet ethiopia a promise has begun a good work started and a war that will be won africa arise beggars hands turn to blessing lead us out of the corrupt and the carnal mind send us a spirit not of division but of one one love one sun a shining light for the world

oh ethiopia the beautiful broken queen she is calling she is rising we join hands and sing from mount entoto glory glory shine on we sing for the children so the story shall be known

THE VANITY FAIR

Hide away although the world still sees you Camouflage into the light of day Hurry now because the time is creeping Yet I watch you in the black of sleep

But I don't think she knows So I follow where she goes No I don't you think you know  … how magical you are !

Child, with lips of coal & eyes like sulphur Everything you touch it turns to life

Age, the diamond thief who carves a story Of dreams and in-betweens upon your face

But I don't think she knows So I follow where she goes No I don't you think you know  … how magical you are !

But hold that feeling love Look to me my love I'm your mirror mirror on the wall! Follow me to the vanity fair You'll see all that you want to see there!

Baby you're a star…. Hollywood just don't know who you are Baby you're a star So come on & light up the world with all that you are!

… Vanity Fair … Vanity Fair … Vanity Fair

My latest installment for the Catacombs is a  cover of  'I'm Wishing' from the Disney classic 'Snow White' recorded for the 'We Love Disney' album (iTunes: smarturl.it/WeLoveDisney)

It was awesome to pay tribute to the psychadelic, imaginative world of Disney that I fell in love with as a kid. This track features production from the amazing Taylor Graves (https://soundcloud.com/taylors-beats), and also features guitars by axe-boss Timon Martin (both of these guys play in my live band and appear across my recent album 'The Golden Echo').

We wanted to put a darker, modern twist to this track. Make it bang, while keeping the innocence and beauty of the original. Crank it loud!

Produced by Taylor Graves Co-produced by Kimbra Johnson Keys/Drum Programming: Taylor Graves Vocals: Kimbra Guitars: Timon Martin

And check out the Original Disney recording from 'Snow White':

Sometimes I record covers of songs I love and here is a recent one I made for a song by Owen Pallett called ‘The Passions’. It is off his new album ‘In Conflict’. I’ve followed his work for a while now - he used to go by the name Final Fantasy- and felt a connection with this song the first time I heard it… suddenly had the urge to reinterpret the song in a new way - playing with Owen's string arrangement as a map for different vocal ideas so I locked myself away for a few hours to see what happened.

This came out of my little basement setup one afternoon, just using voices and some guitars. It’s very raw but I figured someone might enjoy discovering this down at The Catacombs. Make sure to listen in headphones :)

And here is the haunting original by the amazing Owen Pallett.

Enjoy x

The Story of Narcissus and The Golden Echo

There is so much I want to share with you about ‘The Golden Echo’. I have given many insights into the musical aspects but beneath all that, there is a heartbeat at the core of this record that goes beyond the sounds and has become a mantra and wise teacher to me over the last year. In order to bring you a little deeper into the world of ‘The Golden Echo’, I have decided to post some of the writings that I have kept about how the title came to be. I have been truly humbled by the prophetic nature of music and how it can come to write itself on us, rather than the other way around. The thoughts that chose us to think them. Below are some insights into the instrumental influences, inspirations and teachers who helped guide me towards the completion of this album. I want to share with you a message that I hope you will unveil for yourself within these songs. It all started with a dream.

Like a lot of inspiration does. My immersion in the work of Frederick Buechner and Thomas Merton had me listening more attentively to the sounds of my life and the world around me (‘Listen to your life.. see it for the fathomless mystery it is….’) and in this particular dream I felt these words resound within me over and over again. Golden Echo. Golden Echo.  What did they mean? Where had I heard it before? Had I heard it before or had it simply arrived in my subconscious only to trickle its way into my waking state? ….the invisible manifests in the visible…. I was lead down many rabbit holes as I searched out these words in order to unveil this mysterious utterance : Golden Echo. I was first led to a flower. 

The name of this is flower is: NARCISSUS GOLDEN ECHO

This led me to the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus. The story of a young man who falls for his own reflection in the water, not realizing it is merely an image. 

Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus dies and it is said that a simple yellow flower was left in his place.

I have always been fascinated with Greek Mythology but I was led to the story of Narcissus in a new way. Has there ever been a time where this story has been more relavent than now? An age where we live more bombarded with projections of the self? Every screen is now a mirror of ourselves, a highly edited reflection we send back out to the world with the illusion that it will connect us on a deeper level, perhaps even fill our hearts with love. Narcissus pines away by the water, desperate to unite with his reflection but he can only admire from afar. Beneath the water lies a world of infinite imagination and possibility - worlds within worlds - but he cannot see past his reflection. Everything surrounding him pales in comparison as he sits by the water lonely and fragmented, soon to die of a broken heart. It struck a new chord. I came to find a timely resonance in the character of Narcissus and his helpless infatuation. To think that so much lay just beneath the water, yet all he could see was the surface - his vacant face painted softly on the skin of the lake. "Now let us frankly face the fact that our culture is one which is geared in many ways to help us evade any need to face this inner, silent self. We live in a state of constant semiattention to the sound of voices, music, traffic, or the generalized noise of what goes on around us all the time. This keeps us immersed in a flood of racket and words, a diffuse medium in which our consciousness is half diluted: we are not quite ‘thinking,’ not entirely responding, but we are more or less there. We are not fully present and not entirely absent; not fully withdrawn, yet not completely available. It cannot be said that we are really participating in anything and we may, in fact, be half conscious of our alienation and resentment. Yet we derive a certain comfort from the vague sense that we are ‘part of’ something – although we are not quite able to define what that something is – and probably wouldn’t want to define it even if we could. We just float along in the general noise. Resigned and indifferent, we share semiconsciously in the mindless mind of Muzak and radio commercials which passes for ‘reality.’” - From Thomas Merton: Essential Writings The story of Narcissus lay heavy on my heart. The chaos of his frustration, the limitation of his thinking. But there was so much more to be found from this flower. I also came across a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins. A 17th century Jesuit monk. I have always taken interest in the life and teachings of the monks and the Desert Fathers and Mothers. The quiet voices on the outskirts of society, those who feel no need to broadcast their opinions on pedestals, but instead in small books on bookshelves of small shops in small towns. Gerard was a monk of this kind. His poem talked about beauty and how to keep it from vanishing away. He had such insight into the human struggle to maintain beauty and find a way to share it. The first half of the poem is titled ‘The Leaden Echo’ - it aches of despair, loss of hope. As if it were Narcissus himself speaking. But as the poem progresses, words are repeated like echoes and they begin to take on new meanings. 'Despair, despair, despair, Spare !! ….' Revelation and insight hit the author and shed light on the darkness! The poet is lead, toward a sound, an echo of sorts. A calling not just to find beauty and hold onto it, but to give it back…. The comes the second half of the poem, ‘The Golden Echo’. He talks of a flower.

'The flower of beauty, fleece of beauty, too too apt to, ah! to fleet, To its own best being and its loveliness of youth: it is an everlastingness of, O it is an all youth!’ Then comes a state of surrender. A call to put aside our external reflections, our identity, our beauty… he tells us to motion it with breath….. To give beauty back to the place from which it came. In giving back the beauty, we are freed of our need to contain it and squeeze it to fit with our finite ideas. We give it new life. Below is the poem in its full form. And this is Richard Burton reading it at the fastest pace humanly possible:

THE LEADEN ECHO HOW to kéep—is there ány any, is there none such, nowhere known some, bow or brooch or braid or brace, láce, latch or catch or key to keep Back beauty, keep it, beauty, beauty, beauty, … from vanishing away? Ó is there no frowning of these wrinkles, rankéd wrinkles deep, Dówn? no waving off of these most mournful messengers, still messengers, sad and stealing messengers of grey? No there ’s none, there ’s none, O no there ’s none, 5 Nor can you long be, what you now are, called fair, Do what you may do, what, do what you may, And wisdom is early to despair: Be beginning; since, no, nothing can be done To keep at bay 10 Age and age’s evils, hoar hair, Ruck and wrinkle, drooping, dying, death’s worst, winding sheets, tombs and worms and tumbling to decay; So be beginning, be beginning to despair. O there ’s none; no no no there ’s none: Be beginning to despair, to despair, 15 Despair, despair, despair, despair. THE GOLDEN ECHO Spare! There ís one, yes I have one (Hush there!); Only not within seeing of the sun, Not within the singeing of the strong sun, 20 Tall sun’s tingeing, or treacherous the tainting of the earth’s air, Somewhere elsewhere there is ah well where! one, Oné. Yes I can tell such a key, I do know such a place, Where whatever’s prized and passes of us, everything that ’s fresh and fast flying of us, seems to us sweet of us and swiftly away with, done away with, undone, Undone, done with, soon done with, and yet dearly and dangerously sweet 25 Of us, the wimpled-water-dimpled, not-by-morning-matchèd face, The flower of beauty, fleece of beauty, too too apt to, ah! to fleet, Never fleets móre, fastened with the tenderest truth To its own best being and its loveliness of youth: it is an everlastingness of, O it is an all youth! Come then, your ways and airs and looks, locks, maiden gear, gallantry and gaiety and grace, 30 Winning ways, airs innocent, maiden manners, sweet looks, loose locks, long locks, lovelocks, gaygear, going gallant, girlgrace— Resign them, sign them, seal them, send them, motion them with breath, And with sighs soaring, soaring síghs deliver Them; beauty-in-the-ghost, deliver it, early now, long before death Give beauty back, beauty, beauty, beauty, back to God, beauty’s self and beauty’s giver. 35 See; not a hair is, not an eyelash, not the least lash lost; every hair Is, hair of the head, numbered. Nay, what we had lighthanded left in surly the mere mould Will have waked and have waxed and have walked with the wind what while we slept, This side, that side hurling a heavyheaded hundredfold 40 What while we, while we slumbered. O then, weary then why When the thing we freely fórfeit is kept with fonder a care, Fonder a care kept than we could have kept it, kept Far with fonder a care (and we, we should have lost it) finer, fonder 45 A care kept.—Where kept? Do but tell us where kept, where.— Yonder.—What high as that! We follow, now we follow.—Yonder, yes yonder, yonder, Yonder. I finished the poem and sat in amazement. Thinking about the possibilities of what lay ‘yonder’. I thought again about the flower. Giving it’s beauty back to the Sun. It was like a key that somehow unlocked the mystery surrounding these songs, how they all fitted together and how they felt important as a body of work. For me, The Golden Echo is a thread throughout the songs. A whisper, a hum that starts as the noise of Narcissus - and ends with a Golden resonance. An echo calling us to connect with the world around us, but also to connect to the profound centre of our own being. A place where we go beyond the constructed ideas we have of ourselves. A place we feel a part of the whole. Maybe it is then that we see ourselves in our true human context. What is The Golden Echo to you? Maybe a moment of transcendence in a crowded room… maybe a simple sound that reminds us we are not alone…. a hint of the mystical hidden amongst the the day-to-day… perhaps it is a murmur in the cloud of unknowing, you know not how to say it but it is something you hear and hold in your heart. “There is a silent self within us whose presence is disturbing precisely because it is so silent: it can’t be spoken. It has to remain silent. To articulate it, to verbalize it, is to tamper with it, and in some ways to destroy it.” I have learnt that when we see something for what it is, we can begin to transcend it. When we embrace the chaos we can learn to move beyond it. Narcisuss tempts us to only see ourselves when we look at the world - and to see only what we can receive from the world not what we can give. But in order to hear the echo we sometimes have to be suffocated by the fabric of our own reflections first. Out of this narrowness we yearn for the open space - the feeling of real connect. Instead of looking only at ourselves, we begin to see through the water, out into the infinite worlds of dimension that loom below the surface. I know the world of stimulus very well. Praise and criticism, reflections and projections. It is a place of excitement and sometimes fear, but it is also a place that can lead us to look only for the grand signs and loud voices. Perhaps we lose sight of the subtleties and the small whispers. ‘Listen to your life’…. says Frederick Buechner. The mundane and the familiar become portals into worlds of color and creation. We must make space to hear them. We are all of us more mystics than we believe or choose to believe. We have seen more than we let on, even to ourselves. I believe music has the power to engage us in ways that we often don’t allow for ourselves in our day to day lives. Music can open a door into a part of ourselves, full of wonder and awe. To follow the Golden Echo is to go deep into the heart of who we are, to hear the echoes in all areas of our lives; in the juxtapositions and contradictions of the self and in the people we meet everyday. In the dark and the light, the sacred and the pain, the animal and the divine, the friend and the foe, the land and the sky. Each song on this record is an echo. An echo of love, an echo of pain, an echo of death, an echo of the ‘ideal’, an echo of chaos, an echo of stillness. They are all teachers and places where I ask you to listen…. to hear the whispers at work. It all came from a simple story that stemmed from a dream and then into a flower; then into a blossoming kind of consciousness… two energies bound together, pushing and pulling in a beautiful dance… I hope you will live inside this record. I hope you will float, twirl, punch walls and clouds, kiss boys and girls and make space for the echoes that are lined like silver in the framework of these songs. They are my gift to you now. May you find in them, a Golden Echo, and then perhaps, become one for others.

TS Eliot - Burnt Norton

I Time present and time past And time future contained in time past. If all time is eternally present All time is unredeemable. What might have been is an abstraction  Remaining a perpetual possibility Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been Point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take Towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden. My words echo Thus, in your mind.                      But to what purpose Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose-leaves I do not know.                 Other echoes Inhabit the garden. Shall we follow? Quick, said the bird, find them, find them, Round the corner. Through the first gate, Into our first world, shall we follow The deception of the thrush? Into our first world. There they were, dignified, invisible, Moving without pressure, over the dead leaves, In the autumn heat, through the vibrant air, And the bird called, in response to The unheard music hidden in the shrubbery, And the unseen eyebeam crossed, for the roses  Had the look of flowers that are looked at. There they were as our guests, accepted and accepting. So we moved, and they, in a formal pattern, Along the empty alley, into the box circle, To look down into the drained pool. Dry the pool, dry concrete, brown edged, And the pool was filled with water out of sunlight, And the lotos rose, quietly, quietly, The surface glittered out of heart of light, And they were behind us, reflected in the pool. Then a cloud passed, and the pool was empty. Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children, Hidden excitedly, containing laughter. Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind Cannot bear very much reality. Time past and time future What might have been and what has been Point to one end, which is always present. II Garlic and sapphires in the mud Clot the bedded axle-tree. The trilling wire in the blood Sings below inveterate scars Appeasing long forgotten wars. The dance along the artery The circulation of the lymph Are figured in the drift of stars Ascend to summer in the tree We move above the moving tree In light upon the figured leaf And hear upon the sodden floor Below, the boarhound and the boar Pursue their pattern as before But reconciled among the stars. At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless; Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is, But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity, Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards, Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point, There would be no dance, and there is only the dance. I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where. And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time. The inner freedom from the practical desire, The release from action and suffering, release from the inner And the outer compulsion, yet surrounded By a grace of sense, a white light still and moving, Erhebung without motion, concentration Without elimination, both a new world And the old made explicit, understood In the completion of its partial ecstasy, The resolution of its partial horror. Yet the enchantment of past and future Woven in the weakness of the changing body, Protects mankind from heaven and damnation Which flesh cannot endure.                             Time past and time future Allow but a little consciousness. To be conscious is not to be in time But only in time can the moment in the rose-garden, The moment in the arbour where the rain beat, The moment in the draughty church at smokefall Be remembered; involved with past and future. Only through time time is conquered.

For those of you who weren't able to see us play on our one show of the Golden Electric tour, I found some recorded audio of us playing 90s Music live from our show in Melbourne. Damn, we had so much fun translating this jam live! Decided to mess around with it a bit and get the crowd head banging with us during this prog as outro. Wish there was video of this. Such a good time. I can't wait to get back on tour with my amazing band so we can bust these songs live again. In the meantime check out this snippet. One ticket to riff-city. Chur.

For those of you who missed the Minnie Riperton tribute last night in Downtown LA I thought I’d share a little rehearsal recording taken the day before at our rehearsal for the show. There will be more official footage to come from the performance (the night was recorded and filmed!) but for those of you who follow the Catacombs, I have created this space for the less official insights & a chance to share some of the things I keep and record on the sidelines. 

The night was such a blessing and incredible tribute to Minnie Riperton, an artist who left us too soon, but what a legacy and spirit she left behind. It was truly resurrected in the music last night! What blew me away was the kindness beauty, and passion of every singer involved in this show too. Honoured to have been a part of the night!

So here’s a little iPhone recording of my rehearsal for ‘Inside My Love’ (one of the straight up smoothest, most beautiful songs ever) & some photos of the night. 

Highlight: When the legendary Leon Ware (writer & producer of the song ‘Inside My Love’ with Minnie herself!) completely surprised everyone (including me!) and joined me on stage out of the blue to sing the song with me. What a trip.

RIP Minnie. Your music lives on & flowers endlessly in our hearts.

THE BIRTH OF THE SONG: '90S MUSIC'

The story of this song is an interesting one. It was never originally on the album when I initially thought the record was finished. But I had always felt the song should be completed somehow and used for something. There was an un self-conscious kind of energy to it and it wasn't until the last month of working on The Golden Echo that it popped back onto my radar. Interestingly it is now the first single for the record and a divisive one at that. Nothing else on the record really sounds like this song sonically but in saying that no song sounds much like the other on this record. I have placed innovation, artistry and experimentation as high values while working in the studio. But above all, it is the art of songwriting and the ability to take the listener on a journey that keeps me excited about what I do and always pushing to find a new way to do that. The story of how this song came to be is an interesting one. The Catacombs will continue to be a place I can share more insights with you about this album so for those of you who love a good backstory, here's a bit more about the song. There is so much to share about the making of the music video which will come soon but for now here is a bit more about the song and it's wild birth.

90’s Music first originated back in Australia when I was jamming with my band in a studio I had set up an hour out of Melbourne in the country. At first it was a bit of fun, my drummer Stevie Mcquinn was mucking around on a Roland drum machine, and hit the ‘music’ sample - I suggested we try building a song around it to see where it led. The band and I were listening to a lot of Deerhoof and Battles at the time and were drawn to the idea of juxtaposing sing-song melodies and toy-like sounds with abrasive, heavier elements - I wanted the song to feel like a kids anthem, I had the idea of carnival music in my head or a warped version of a Sesame Street song. It took on a strange little life of it's own as we jammed it and I began a lyric about listening to 90’s Music with a young love but it was always left somewhat unfinished, and fell to the side while I worked on the rest of the record. 

  Literally in the last month of working on the album, Rich Costey (the producer I worked on the record with) and I went back & listened to the '90’s Music' demo randomly one day and discussed wether it was worth taking another look at it since we both had a soft spot for the track since Day 1. At the time, the record was pretty much complete and I felt sure I had all the songs I needed, but on a whim I decided to dig in to the song again just to see if it could come to life in a new way. The demo was just a raucous band jam recorded through iPhones so I asked my drummer, Stevie Cat Jnr and guitarist Timon Martin (aka Major Dudes) to lay down their parts to a click and send them back to me in LA - I figured this would help me to rework the song and try a new idea for it. They sent the song back but this time it had thumping 808’s as a backbone for the verses and an almost industrial approach on the clunky xylophones which were now running through abrasive distortion plug-ins with fast math-rock guitars and dribbling high hats. It gave me a totally fresh perspective on the track and the very same day I re-recorded all the vocals, spun my voice through a dozen samplers and gadgets to weave a new world around the song. It came together so quickly and suddenly had a completely unique identity to everything else on the record. Rich and I continued to evolve the song by adding textures and taking a pretty fearless approach structurally - we wanted it to feel slightly unhinged while also being super fun and abandoned.

  One night at the studio Rich sent the song to Matt Bellamy (Muse) to see what he thought and if he had any ideas. The next morning he'd sent back an email attached with an obnoxious detuned guitar part for the chorus. We loved it and dropped it straight into the session. Moments before signing off on the song we also had Mark Foster (Foster The People) come down to the studio as he was also excited about the track and had some ideas. We dived in and came out with the final section for the song, a modulation halfway through the track with stacks of synths and r&b hooks which I recorded literally moments before I flew out to Australia that same night. We wrapped the song up feeling super excited about the last piece of the record coming together. It inhabited an energy that seemed to compliment the rest of the album which ultimately inhabits quite a different sonic space but embraces a sense of adventure. There is a part of me that is very attracted to minimalism and sparseness, but I have a wild love affair with maximalist music and to be able to explore both sides as an artist and have fans that create a space for me to dive into both these worlds is a great blessing. I think pop music should give a chance for experimentation and a whole lot of good fun. But also a place where the listener can be challenged, then slowly courted into a great romance. 

  Despite being a different stride in sounds, this song embraces many things I always like to explore musically - I'm always attracted to the meeting place of light and dark, sweet and sour - the juxtaposition of angular sounds and head-crushing distorted elements sitting alongside a breathy bubblegum vocal - I love the idea of crossing unlikely approaches sonically and lyrically. Bands like Deerhoof, Battles and Mew inspire me so much for their innovation and collision of playfulness and dreaminess with heavier, aggressive moments. These bands were all influential over the period that i worked on this song - their approach combined with the R&B influences already stamped on the song gave it an identity very unique from other tracks I was working on at the time. Instead of making the track a throwback musically, I wanted it to feel like a nod to the past from a futurist perspective. Lyrically the song is a celebration and affection for an era I remember fondly and associate with growing up and young love. I discovered a new excitement for 90’s music again while I was writing this record and was feeling a strong resurgence of the era in a lot of music and fashion so it felt like the perfect framework for the song to exist in, and a chance to pay tribute to some of the artists I loved in my youth.

Nostalgia has often been a theme for me - I have a strong connection to childhood and the teenage years so I wanted to capture that boisterous, playful energy with this song - and to do it through the use of sounds and influences I haven't drawn from in the past. That place where all the subconscious ideas merge and collide is always the place where I am most excited about music. Although we change and grow as people, the memories of the past live on, but perhaps they take on a different shape and form as we recall them. It doesn't sound or look quite the same but it's made into something new! Seeing this song birth from a garage jam in rural Australia and grow throughout the time spent here in Los Angeles has been so much fun, and it's just the start of many more adventures to come. 

The Emptiness and the Purity~Thomas Merton

"When we are alone on a starlit night, when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children, when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet, Basho, we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash - at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the "newness," the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, all these provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance."  

'Where kept? Do but tell us where kept, where.—

  Yonder. —What high as that! We follow, now we follow. —Yonder, yes yonder, 

  yonder,

  Yonder.'