“It’s not your fault, Oriole. You’re doing what’s necessary to feel comfortable–  I can’t blame you for that.” Especially not anymore when Star sneaked into Oriole’s apartment and carried him all the way home so he’d feel comfortable. “Your comfort also matters to me more than almost everything. So even if I don’t like something… I’m willing to try it if it helps you feel better about being with me.” 

“And no, I won’t tie you up again. This was a one-time mistake, a-although I know that just sounds like a bad excuse.” Because it was despite being true. His “mental blackouts” didn’t waive the sane him responsibility for his actions. And that’s what he sought to do in spite of how it’d make himself feel. His feelings were secondary to Oriole’s. 

But, in own small selfishness, Star’s next immediate thought was to sweeten the “stay” pot a bit more. He scooted closer to Oriole and embraced his friend, gently rubbing his back as the other held him tight. “I love you, and I want you to be genuinely happy when you’re at my side. I hope you still know and believe that.”

“Interacting with other people is included. Just… remember that I can hear you, please.” Star hoped Oriole didn’t interpret that as a thinly veiled threat. He asked because listening to the person he loved tell others how deranged, horrible, controlling, or what else have you about him while he watched silently from the background would hurt him. 

But if that’s what Oriole wanted to do, Star wouldn’t stop him. He’d only break his word of staying back if Oriole used his time to beg others for protection and separation from from Star. Hurting and killing others were still acts he didn’t like to indulge in lest he found it absolutely necessary. Keeping the two of them together was his ultimate priority. 

“Is that enough to make you stay…? Or do you still need more from me? Wh-which it’s fine if you do! I-I’m only asking…” Star hated this feeling of walking on eggshells every time he said something. It’d stop once Oriole agreed to stay, though a bad feeling told  him all these compromises weren’t going to be enough…

With Oriole’s binds cut, his friend’s eyes were sneaking glances at the door. It hurt to witness, even if Star predicted his friend would try to escape the moment he cut him free. Although should he actually try running away, Star wasn’t against tackling Oriole to the ground if it meant keeping Oriole here just a bit longer. To keep his world from stopping as it always did when he was left alone. 

Upon asking for anything to keep Oriole here, he got an answer he’d heard multiple times: Oriole wanted the freedom to go out. Unlike himself, Oriole couldn’t stand being cooped up inside for very long and would go stir crazy in a matter of days when forced to stay in. While Star couldn’t understand Oriole’s infatuation with the outdoors, he nonetheless wanted to respect his friend’s wishes… in a way that wouldn’t override his personal feelings.

Ignoring his feelings too long inevitably lit the fuse for the desperation bomb to blow. This kidnapping situation happened because he bottled them up and hoped they’d go away; didn’t work the first time, failed yet again the 20th time.

“If I let you go outside, can I at least follow you…? I’ll stay completely out of sight, you won’t even be able to tell I’m there.”  He’d become an adept at keeping to the shadows– how else could one explain Star managing to carry someone in his arms back home undetected? “As long as I can still see you, I-I won’t worry… as much.”

      their head lay rest in their hand as they stared to their captive. why did they do this? for answers of course.  ❝ i don’t need you running away or avoiding things right now with me which is why i chose to do this ludger. ❞  the jeweler spoke as they moved to sit on the floor before him.

      ❝ i want answers. ❞  they state as they look him in the eye.  ❝ ludger where have you been running off too so often when you get those calls? ❞

Oriole’s answer was at least better than a yes. Regardless of his response, Star made his way to the kitchen and removed a knife from the knife rack. “I’ll cut the restraints. Hold still for me,” Star explained before he knelt back down at Oriole’s side. With careful, precise slashes, the ropes around Oriole’s wrists and ankles fell to the floor in halves. That should make Oriole a bit less anxious (in spite of his own anxiety now shooting through the roof). 

“I’m sorry for tying you up. I wanted to make sure you’d wait and listen to me once you woke up, but… I-I know that’s not really an excuse.” Star would understand if his apology was too little too late for Oriole. Taking Oriole home without his consent was objectively wrong. He knew that, and yet… “I-It’s just… I don’t– I can’t function when you’re not here with me.” Whenever Oriole was away, Star’s thoughts were a constant wave of worries and possible disaster scenarios he’d fail to prevent being so far away. 

“So even if you do find me horrible or scary now, please don’t leave. I’ll do anything if it means you’ll stay! I-I mean it, anything at all!”

“I carried you while you were sleeping– I’m a bit surprised myself you slept through the whole trip.” Julius used to say he was a very heavy sleeper; the same probably applied to Oriole. “As for why….”

“We were already home by the time I realized you were in my arms. Holding you just feels so natural to me that I didn’t process I was doing so until I had to set you down.” In other words, Star couldn’t remember why he chose to bring Oriole back to his home. Somewhere in him he felt satisfied now that they were both here, but the man couldn’t begin to explain the logistics. 

What Star could process is Oriole’s terror directed at him. Sort of like Julius back when he–… maybe he’d be better off asking than assuming. “Are you afraid of me now…?” 

Star’s guess was square on the money– the man remembered being called ‘Oriole’ in the past. “I had a friend I used to call ‘Oriole’ because we were almost mirrors to each other, down to our names. He’d also refer to me as ‘Star’ by my suggestion.” A somewhat sly way to remind his friend of their old relationship; jokes had a way of naturally easing tension. 

“It’s been a long time, Oriole-san.” 

      ❝ i dunno, maybe by kissing or something? ❞

      ❝ well i was seeing if you’d react in a certain way! not just smile like a goofball. ❞  they moved to lightly elbow him with a playful smile.