Hamilton AU

Are you ready for this? No you are not, here we go.

Ok so we all know that Alexander Hamilton is bi as fuck. Now when Alexander comes to New York, he kinda falls in love with John Laurens, who is very gay indeed. He meets Angelica Schuyler at a party, and trusts her pretty much instantly, and she tells Alex that her sister is also gay af, and struggling to hide her relationship with another woman. She introduces them, and together they arrange to be ‘married’ so that they can both claim to be a normal straight couple like any other, whilst actually seeing their real partners. This goes perfectly for a long time until (shh we’re gonna ignore someone’s death) rumours about Alex and John’s relationship start flying around. 

By this point, Alex and Eliza have had quite a few kids, and they kinda share them between the two couples because it’s the only way they could have kids. But Eliza just tells Alex 'cheat on me’. And Alex is like 'darling, I think you’re missing the main basis of our relationship’ and she’s like 'yeah well they don’t know that. I’m gonna go visit dad for a few weeks, just stir up some shit’. So Alex and John find a guy called James and his wife Mariah who are fairly poor, and offer to help them if they can help them circulate rumours that Alex had slept with Mariah. Together, they form an intricate backstory, and wrote letters as proof. Hamilton paid James reguarly, supposedly to keep him silent about the 'affair’, but in reality to keep him and Mariah healthy. 

Word leaks out into congress, and Alex knows that Burr would never keep his big gob shut. Gleefully, Alex publishes the reynolds pamphlet that he’d written weeks prior. It was specifically intended to be as atrocious as he could write, and it worked. He knew it would ruin his career, but none of that mattered if it meant he could be with John. Eliza got 'mad’ as planned, and everything went well. Then she really was mad when Alex got their son killed, but Alex worked hard for her forgiveness and john supported him, until John passed away defending Alexander shortly after Philip’s death. Eliza was devastated for Alex, and they grew closer again. Eliza had long since split with her girlfriend, and devoted herself to her children. Alex did the same, and they decided to just care for their kids.

Alex died in a gunfight with Aaron, he always intended to provoke Aaron into a duel. Alex saw no point of life without John.

Eliza dedicated the rest of her life to try and reverse the story they had intricately weaved, but to no avail. She died without recognition, but the orphanage allowed couples that couldn’t have their own kids to finally fulfil their wishes. she died hoping that some day, people like her, John, and Alex would be able to adopt children without making false lives for themselves.

Reasons Humans are the cutest animals:

1. They know that automatic doors open by themselves, ut when they walk towards them they slow down just in case. Sometimes they hold out their hands and pretend it’s magic.

2. They adopt smaller animals and live with them in their homes, sometimes imitating noises and sounds in attempts to communicate.

3. When they see something funny on TV, they immediately repeat it, sometimes to other people who were already in the room watching to begin with.

4. When they like being around someone very much, some humans will take clothing items from the person to have their smell around when they’re gone.

5. Many humans will take their favorite foods away from their regular feeding areas and hold off on eating them until they are sufficiently comfortable and entertained, to maximize on the experience.

6. Sometimes, a human will associate a particular song with an individual or event, and the song will invoke deep emotional reactions.

7. While many humans prefer to sleep alone, a large number of them sleep better when in close contact with another human who they trust and enjoy the company of.

8. When a human is particularly engaged by an enjoyable task or hobby, sometimes they simply forget that their bodies require basic care to survive.

9. Sometimes the urge for them to sneeze suddenly disappears, and they become frustrated with their automatic immune responses

10. Some humans talk in their sleep, or make funny noises or breathing patterns.

11. When a human likes another human, they begin to imitate vocal patterns and mannerisms.

12. Humans come in a wide range of shapes and colors, and many humans will decorate themselves with flashy dyes or fabrics.

13. They will collect random objects with no set objectives in mind- they will gather items such as paper squares, lengths of fabric, puzzle games, and pleasantly-shaped rocks, which they will excitedly show off to other humans.

the most human postive post that could ever exist, I hope aliens find this post 

Sonnet 130 - Shakespeare Read by: Alan Rickman

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips’ red; If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head; I have seen roses damasked, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks; And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks; I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw a goddess go My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.   And yet by heaven I think my love as rare   As any she belied with false compare.

Alan Rickman. :(

If you don’t understand why people get so upset over celebrity deaths, here’s the answer.

Alright, Percy Jackson would be a great youtuber

no I don’t have a story about this and no I most definitely wouldn’t write out a massive list of headcanons if only one person showed slight interest in it no way

here’s your slightest interest. I’d love to read that

*sighs as I smile wide because headcanons but I feel like I shouldn’t*

-Percy’s channel was originally just of weird things happening in his life [like one of his family (meaning the Olympians) trying to figure out what order things should happen at Christmas goes viral because they’re the loudest, most crazy family ever to exist] but his commentary was always spot on so he realized he had like 150k subscribers so he finally made a video titled ‘Hi?’ and he started getting interest because he was cute and hilarious and had no idea what the hell he was doing.

-He is SeaweedBrain12 and you know it.

-He always just ended up doing weird stuff in the videos, even if it wasn’t planned.

-He slowly got more and more popular and often announced he had no idea what he was doing and often said ‘how do youtube?’ when he had problems.

-His mom was in a lot of his earlier videos after she joined him for a ‘I DO MY MOM’S MAKEUP CHALLENGE BC I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND’ (with an ‘is this title a fall out boy song?’ in the description) and people loved her and especially loved how cute he was with her.

-He never got a Twitter, because of his dyslexia.

-His hair became a running joke for how often he ran his hands through it when he didn’t know what to say.

-He admitted that his friend (Leo) had edited a lot of the vids with him because he’s crap with computers.

-He begins every video with “Look, I didn’t…” (yes that’s a reference to the beginning of the lightning thief).

-He slowly gets more punk as time goes on, and embraces the freedom that the internet encouraged, getting tattoos, wearing ironic t-shirts, cussing more, but he was always cute.

-He makes a shit ton lot of band references and old Disney movie references too, because that’s all that matters to him.

-He started working out after he hit a million subscribers because he’s still human and felt the pressure of starting to get famous.

-The ‘Puberty Kings Club’ consists of Nevile Longbottom and Percy Jackson after that.

-He, and a bunch of other guys (who were also internet celebrities) decided to all pitch in and get an apartment together.

-The guys include: Leo Valdez, the Vine king queen, who’s only a little lower on the totem poll (after Percy) in amounts of sass and comebacks. Frank Zhang, who’s so dorky that he has a small fandom that loves him and he’s a lot better off during collabs. Charles Beckendorf, who’s known for his internet rants about social problems, etc. Nico Di Angelo, who’s got fangirls off the wazoo, and becomes a social figure when he comes out as gay. And Travis Stoll, who makes prank videos and vines and has more male fans than female and gets jokingly picked on by the other guys.

-Anyways, they all get an apartment, and their bedrooms are based off the number of subscribers they have (i.e. Percy has the master bedroom, while Charlie and Frank switch out who’s in the smallest bedroom and who’s on the couch).

-They make a group channel and they all squish on the couch and talk at a camera and those videos are instant hits and thus, the Half Bloods began. (They called themselves that because Percy’s half Greek, Nico’s half italian, Frank’s half Chinese, Beckendorf is half African American, and Travis is half of the pair that was him and his brother, but Connor went to college across the country) (yes I know that we don’t know they’re all half-half on races it’s an AU)

-Beckendorf starts dating beauty vlogger Silena Beauregard, who soon joins them on the Half Blood Couch for the monthly massive collabs they do. Hazel sometimes guest stars in Frank’s videos and she’s super cute and everyone talks about how adorable she is. Katie Gardener is often the subject of Travis’ pranks and the meme of ‘JUST KISS ALREADY’ is basically their entire relationship. Leo complains about being single a lot. Nico (much later on) starts dating a little-known internet celebrity, Will Solace, who’s a bundle of sunshine and happiness and tweets about loving life and takes pictures of rainbows and tells people they’re perfect all the time.

-Annabeth is a British (take a moment and imagine Annabeth freaking Chase with a British accent, it’s a beautiful thing) girl who is in New York for college or whatever (honestly I imagine her as a ballerina because I adore ballet but it’s ok for her to be anything else idc). And she and Percy start dating and of course she gets a ton of hate because we fangirls can be bitches but Percy still loves her and tells people to get over it.

-Everybody mocking Annabeth’s accent when she says something like ‘Quit being so silly!’ or ‘Bloody hell, Percy!’ and she gets all huffy.

-Their girlfriends/Will join in on the monthly Half Bloods videos.

-Beck, Percy, Frank, and Will all squeeze onto the couch, and Annabeth sits on the back of the couch with her legs dangling over Percy’s shoulders because she’s a flexible and athletic little graceful ballerina queen. And Hazel sits on the floor, leaning on Frank’s legs. And Silena sits in Charlie’s lap, with her legs across Frank. And Leo perches himself on the armrest near Percy, complaining about getting no respect. And Nico begrudgingly (until some homophobe says it’s disgusting, then he does it just to spite those people) leans on Will’s legs like Hazel.

-They play Mario Kart tournaments and someone always gets hurt.

-Whenever they actually argue Percy’s the one who has to settle it because of the subscribers numbers.

-Annabeth is quieter in the videos but whenever she says something it’s so quick witted and awesome that everyone laughs and she makes facial expressions at the camera and becomes the reaction gif queen.

-Percy’s most famous video, with over like, 150 million views, was one he took on his phone, at 4 AM. He got up and said, “I’m gonna show you what it’s like living in our apartment.” and proceeds to tour through the house to see what’s going on at 4 AM. Frank and Hazel are in the bathroom, where she’s painting his face like a bear because someone on Twitter dared him to. Leo is walking up and down the hallway muttering video ideas to himself on his 9th cup of coffee. Nico is under a pile of blankets in his room on his laptop, watching Netflix, looking like death as Will slept with an eye mask beside him. Beckendorf was on the phone with Silena who was in a different time zone, arguing about Coach vs. Michael Kors. Travis was trying to set up a trip wire outside of Frank’s bedroom, and looked like a deer in headlights when Percy walked up. And after all that Percy walks out on the balcony and looks dead in the camera with fear in his eyes and whispers in horror ‘I found all of that completely normal.’ 

-Percy still fanboys over anyone even if he’s ‘more famous’ than them.

-He ends every video with a shrug.

Okay that was even longer than planned if you read all of that you are magic. I have so many more to add but it’s time to stop.

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

This is wild from start to finish

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional

Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.

This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash

My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and they crashed into the front of the stage at high speed.The entire boat imploded. The actors just sat there in silence for at least a full 10 seconds in the midst of the wreckage before my friend Adena screamed “ABANDON SHIP” and they all jumped out and took off running.

My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn’t dramatic enough for “fleeing” so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother got to me, not knowing what to do they stepped over me and continued running. But Cinderella had forgotten to loose her shoe so half way out of the room she chucked it back where it hit me in the head. I bolted upright and ran shrieking hysterically out of the room. A moment later the Prince came down to where the shoe was picked it up, looked dramatically at where I had exited and said “I hope that dog’s okay.” completely forgetting his line.  

This may be my all time favorite post. 

I was once in a production of “Hello Dolly!” and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other’s plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see what would happen. What happened was we ended the show with the two leads violently frenching each other on stage as the curtain dropped. They started dating two weeks later.

Last year we did “Once Upon a Mattress” and the jester was supposed to do a somersault off of a stack of like 3 mattresses and then the minstrel and Lady Larken would be covered up with a blanket, but during one show the jester knocked down one of the mattresses and we had no time to fix it so we had to throw the mattress on top of them

Last year I was in a school production of One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest. Our stage set up was in a mini gym, so there was the change room in the back where the actors waited, and then dividers on rage where we kept the props hidden, and a stage hand was there helping us. So, we didn’t have a wardrobe department or anything and the costumes were mostly from our own closets. McMurphys costume was just jeans, white shirt, and leather jacket, which was no problem for our McMurphy. Between these scenes McMurphy has a costume change where he comes out in his jeans, the next scene is at night so he’s in his pjs (his boxers), and in the next scene it’s morning in the day room so he’s in his jeans again. Simple enough. So McMurphy does the scene, goes backstage to take off his pants, walks on stage and does the scene. Now the thing is, the guy playing McMuphy for some reason only owned skinny jeans, so when he went backstage to quickly put his pants back on he couldn’t get them on. Nothing is sound proof so we’re all freaking out silently, when the stage hand gestures for everyone to shut up and he takes off his own pants (track pants) and puts them on McMurphy and sent him out. When the scene finished, McMurphy went back and had more time so he managed to get his pants on. Our teacher supervisors, who were sitting in the back with the light and sound crew, came to congratulate us when the play finished and the first thing they said right after was “what the Hell was that costume change?”

In my eighth grade play, there was a scene where my friend and I were sitting on a table made up to look like a bed, and I was supposed to be ranting about being a teen. Halfway through the monologue, the table collapsed under my friend. I forgot the rest of my lines and just whispered ‘oh my god’ into the mic while the rest of the audience gasped

REBLOG TO PROTECT PLATONIC "I LOVE YOU"s AT ALL COSTS

look , i literally can’t stress how cute this deleted parks and rec scene is and im about to lose my fucking shit.

Im in love with Chris Pratt

“just kidding, I’m so strong”

oh my god OH MY GOD

KILL ME NOW

Reblog if you post ‘SHADOWHUNTERS’ stuff

Let’s make the blog hunt easy for the new fans after the show airs in January :)

Mesmerizing

that’s REALLY satisfying to watch

oh godh

Stop stereotyping

Thaaaaank youuuu

RE-BLOGGING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS

But actually

I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t have 2020 vision.

We only have seven days to left reblog this joke

#can we please discuss the fact that this movie was made by Americans

#some of us might actually be self-aware

Nobody has to deal with americans more than other americans.

I am an american and I can verify that this is indeed true.

#everyone else gets to be annoyed by Americans from afar #while Americans have to be annoyed by other Americans loudly and up close

Even Americans don’t like Americans.