how you doin? ;)

I love posts like this that require like six levels of meta understanding to comprehend them.

@dawn-hammer

This is like the retail version of “no weapon forged against me shall prevail”

my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word

if ur dealing to the people on the left you’d just say “$45 a gram” and theyd be like “yeah bro sure dude i gotchu thats legitness ur the man” but the ppl on the right u gotta finesse like “my normal price is $15 a g but this stuff is called Cosmic Throat Cum Squirt Haze so the lowest i can go is $50″ and theyd b like “wow… so cultured… i cant wait to smoke this out of my native american themed bong…”

“It’s their job to do that. You don’t have to say thank you”

can we please have more aggressively polite memes in the world???

Honestly I’m living for teen vogue right now

y lo que más me dolió fue que te importó una mierda como me sentí yo.

i dont even have guilty pleasures anymore i just like stuff and if people have a problem with that they can go fuck themselves

There’s a difference between being happy and being distracted from sadness

once a boy let me borrow his jacket and after i gave it back i heard him gushing to his friends bc it smelled like me

nice to know boys do that too

Hello, 911? Yes I’d like to report a murder

I’m in Poland and they keep showing this pizza advert and it’s amazing.

It starts off with rival pizza makers who argue over who has the best pizza and are driving the customers away

Then there’s this crazy old lady who yells at them from a window to quit it (because where else do you yell business advice from?)

So they work together and do some obvious flirting via pizza montage

And the old lady is all like “just kiss already”

Then they create a pizza together, combine restaurants and live happily ever after with the crazy window lady

waking up to gay pizza makers, today’s gonna be a good day

a family pizzeria can be two lesbians and a window lady

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THIS!