Kikilicious

Endless Summer deserves a fourth book, pass it on.

Quinn: Damn it!

Jake: Who the fuck taught you how to swear?!

tag yourself, endless summer edition

bonus:

Me, a sensible boy: They’re fictional characters and don’t actually have feelings, they’re programmed to love you and you can always see them again.

My caveman brain: YOU’VE BONDED WITH THEM.

Estella: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We’ll hang a mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Diego: We are not doing that.

Jake: Mistlefoe™

MC: Jake no.

my gorls

they would

miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. im shooting everything. im laying down cover fire. im shooting the walls. im shooting my teammates. im shooting myself. my accuracy is 100% yall just dont know what im aiming at

I didn’t even read the rest because I’m still laughing at “miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit” like I’ve never read a more perfect phrase in my life

these are basically turning into my video diaries

this video made me laugh so hard I threw up. I woke up my 63 year old mother downstairs, she rushed up to make sure I was okay. it’s gone midnight. i want to watch it again but I’m scared I’ll shit myself next

This is why I love this Zoobe shit. It’s magical.

it’s that time of year again

Galaxy Plush Bats and Stickers, by BeeZeeArt

Cuddly Cosmic Chiroptera!

♡ Guess I’ll Die ♡ 

Please don’t remove this caption! ☆

@narnet

Being a crow sounds like such a fun existence it’s like

1. Wake up

2. Eat some garbage

3. Find a rabbit to fuck with because you just hate rabbits so much

4. Get to the top of a very tall tree and scream for at least two hours so that people know you’re a crow

5. Join your 3 crow friends in someone’s backyard and just fucking hop around like a goof ball

6. Yell some more

7. Okay that was good enough go to sleep!

8. Repeat

I never should’ve taught my parrot how to laugh it’s given him far too much power

do you know how embarrassing it is to have a pet that can laugh at you? I dropped my ice cream and wailed in despair and my parrot zoomed out of nowhere JUST so he could stand on the couch and laugh at me. I’m being called a dumb bitch in my own home by my OWN SON.

@keyhollow