Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse; But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.
I’VE SEEN THIS POST FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS AND JUST NOW GOT THE JOKE.
MOTHER FU-
World Population : 7,810,521,683
just in case somebody start feelin too important
7,810,521,682 and me
listen taylor i’m not trying to tell you how to run your shows but PLEASE BRING BEYONCE OUT AS A SPECIAL GUEST
beyoncé is NOT going to take the time out of her life to be a special guest at one of satan swift’s shows
she took the time out of her life to attend taylor’s 25th birthday party so really anything’s possible
sweetie, you’re comparing going to a birthday party out of sympathy for over shadowing her last birthday by surprise releasing the best and most critically acclaimed album of the decade to attending a boring stadium tour of a woman she hardly talks to when bey has stadiums she has to get ready for within the next month like it isn’t going to happen
☝ - How tall are you? ✔ - Sexual Orientation 🚬 - Do you Smoke? 🍷 - Do you Drink? ♒ - Do you Take Drugs? 😳 - Age you get mistaken for? 💉 - Have Tattoos? ✏️ - Want any tattoos? ✂️ - Got any Piercings? ✌ - Want any piercings? 👌 - Best friend? ♥ - Do you like anyone? 🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands? 🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs? 😒 - Biggest pet peeve? 📝 - Story from your childhood. 💬 - I wish… ‼️ - Something you’ll change? 💦 - What makes you horny? 🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for? 🔥 - Something spicy you like? 👃 You hate the smell of …. 👊 - Something you hate? 🚶 - Are you single? 💬 - Can we text? 💌 - Fan mail me? 💍 - Marry me? 💘 - Be my tumblr crush? 💭 - Favorite foods? ☀ - Story about your day. 💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes? 🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies? 📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows? ✏ - Random fact about yourself. ✈️ - Where are you from? 🚀 - Where do you wanna visit? 😍 - Do you have a crush? 😷 - Something you hate eating? 🙈 - What makes you shy? 💃 - Can you dance? 💏 - Do you love anyone? 👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear? 🌴 - A island you would visit? 🌎 - A country you would visit? 🌀 - Favorite type of weather? 🔮 - Do you believe in luck? 📱 - What kinda phone do you have? 📅 - Favorite time of the year? 📚 - Career goal you want? 🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat? 🍭 - Favorite Candy? 🍇 - Favorite fruits? 🚘 - Dream car(s)? 🚔 - Have you ever been arrested? 🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before? 🎫 - Do you have a license? 🚼 - Do you have or want kids? 🔞 - Are you under 18? 🐶 - Do you own a pet? 😔 - Something that makes you sad? 😡 - What pisses you off? 😏 - What turns you on? 😈 - Are you a freak? 💪 - Do you work out?
[First Swazz imagine, let me know if y’all want more!]
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“Babe?”
I was relaxing in bed rereading one of my favorite books when I heard my boyfriend calling me from the hall. I hadn’t expected to see him until late since he was supposed to be hanging out with guys and I figured they’d indulge in a little Friday night turn up. “In here!” I answered, still not taking my eyes away from the pages. It was the most intense part of the novel. I’d read it several times before, but I was still on the edge of my seat. I hadn’t even noticed that John was standing above me with a stupid grin on his face.
“Y/N, he dies at the end. Just like last time,” he chucked.
I rolled my eyes playfully then put the book down. “Yeah, whatever.” I laughed, “Is there a reason why you’re home so early?”
“Nah,” he shrugged then started to look around the room and whistle, purposely creating suspicion.
“I don’t believe that,” I crossed my arms as I tried to figure out what the hell he was hiding.
“Wait,” John put his hand over his heart and pretended to look hurt, “is my own girlfriend calling me a liar?”
“Well I ain’t calling you a truther,” I mimicked one of my favorite Josh Peck quotes.
John laughed at me then caught me off guard when he proceeded to steal my book, hit me with a pillow, then run into the living room. All in under five seconds.
“Hey!” I yelled once I’d finally processed all that had happened in that short time span. I got up to chase after him, but I skidded to a rather quick stop once I saw what our living room had become. Blankets and pillows covered just about every square inch of the place, it was barely recognizable. Not to mention the overflowing box of snacks that John was standing next to. I looked at him and smiled.
“This is awesome!” I exclaimed.
“This is also how we’re spending the rest of our night,” he smiled back.
I ran up and hugged him to show my gratitude. “You know exactly what I like,” I said with my face buried in his neck.
“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”
I pulled away to seal my thanks with a kiss, long and slow.
“Damn,” he mumbled once I ended it. He leaned back in, but I had already turned my attention to all the food.
“Hey, I wanted another kiss,” he complained.
“And I want these cookies,” I teased, “Now let’s watch Zombieland.”
-
Gilinsky through the years..
Our baby 😭🙏
no it aint
didn’t ask
if you see a person who is on their period bleeding through their clothes or a pad showing dont laugh at them or post pictures on the internet as a “funny embarrassing people!!” thing. Go give them your jacket to put around their waist until they can reach a place to clean up help them dont just make them feel ashamed of something they cant help its already shitty enough being on your period dont make it shittier for somebody by embarrassing them ive seen so many pictures like this on facebook and shit being laughed at its honestly disgusting
best look: big t-shirt no bra slutty underwear and ponytail
sad because you can’t watch fanfics
kudos to mtv for spreading this message tho
Turn the fuck up MTV
