Azurfemme

 Did you make much from busking?

Pete: “Then there was that time with Scarborough Steve [Bedlow, former singer/cohort]. It was about nine in the morning, a Sunday, and we’d run out of booze so he suggested we go out busking. He’d just had some of his teeth knocked out and had some temporary ones in. Falsies. We were all absolutely mangled by now and it was afternoon by the time we got down to the bridge. A boiling hot day. These Japanese girls walked past and said, ‘Do Twist and Shout!’, so we started singing: ‘Well shake it up baby now’, and when we got to ‘You know you look so good’, Steve’s tooth fell out.”

Carl: “It landed in an old Nescafé tin that we had as our pot. Then a car ran over it. Those girls were disgusted.”

Carl:Shut up John, just cos (mutters something inaudible to tape) Have you seen thecarpet burn on my knee? Where did I get it from? [Carpet burn. On his knee.Gah.]

John: Gary (repeats Gary many times whilst Carl brandishes his knee at Pippa)Carl: Gary? Was it? I thought it was Pete!John: I thought you had a fight with him?Carl: I can’t remember! I was too drunk..

“We’d been up all night, bombing around Tokyo, breaking into bars. We found this funny complex where the lifts went up to different bars and we found ourselves on this level where the bar was actually locked so we bust open the door and the pair of us stole bottles of gin and an umbrella.”

It was just girls, girls, girls. In Munich, I went off on a tandem with this girl, back to her place. She insisted on playing Suede. So it’s afterwards and I want to go back to the venue because there’s this other girl and I wanna get to her before Carl does, but the tandem-girl locks me in the bathroom so I think, ‘Disaster,’ and actually end up booting the door through and she was screaming, screaming, screaming and she was naked as well. She’s had my clothes away, and I’ve had to jump back on her bike and race through the streets of Munich with just a hat on, back to the bus. And at the end of the night we had to leave Munich because we couldn’t stay and Carl was just snogging this girl endlessly and I’m stood there like fucking Hancock, when Sid James has pulled and he hasn’t. That was the girl that I’d cycled back for.”

“An encounter where he and fellow band member Carl Barat had sex with two fans in a disabled toilet after a gig on their 2003 Scandinavian tour was typical.“We met a right old punk who took me and Carl under his wings and took us to the sleaziest club, a proper rock ‘n’ roll dive with all these garage kids,” said Doherty.“I remember fuckng this girl in the toilets, on the floor, proper sort of sliding about the tiles and Carl came in with another girl, as cool as you like and bent her over the toilet.“Yeah, he had a smile on his face. And a vertical smile on his bum.”

What’s your favorite Christmas carol?

Pete: “Oh, that French one, Carol Debois, she’s lovely.”

Gary: “Mine is (sings) Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robinlaid an egg, Batmobile lost its wheel, then the Joker got away, hey!”

Carl, where will you be this Christmas?

Carl: “I shall be in Watership Down. That’s where my mumlives. The cat brings in rabbits from time to time. I saw that, the cat gotfrisbeed last year by a fucking juggernaut.”

Pete: “I used to go there and meet his mum…”

Carl: “Er, with me.”

Pete: “…and he used to take me into the wild woods.”

Carl: “I used to take him to Arcadia and back.”

Pete: “It was pitch black. And I’d see (Greek God) Pan.”

Carl: “He saw Pan and he came running with his tailbetween his legs. We didn’t even know he had a tail ‘til then. Since then he’skept it very short.”