shoutout to depressed and anxious people who often isolate themselves because they don’t have the energy to socialize, they’re scared, don’t believe anyone genuinely wants them around, etc.
can you imagine if coronavirus happened in like 2013. this site would be like "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO A LEARN ABOUT ~SOCIAL DISTANCING~"
LUCKILY FOR *YOU* HANDSOME BASTARDS, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IS E X A C T L Y SIX FEET TALL.
SO NEXT TIME YOU’RE CHILLING WITH YOUR MOIRAILS, IMAGINE A BEAUTIFUL BENDYPOO LYING ARSE NEKKID ON THE FLOOR BETWEEN YOU. CAN’T FIT A WHOLE SHERLOCK?
THEN YOU’RE T O O F U C K I N G C L O S E GOD DAMN IT.
What your headache is tellin you
I haven’t seen this post in a min but precisely when I have a headache RN it comes up in my feed
Two quick additions, as someone who suffered from chronic migraines
1. Behind the eyes: eye strain or just long stress. More sleep will definitely make this feel better. 2. Temples: unclench your jaw, as that bone is putting too much pressure on your temples.
This is a fucking life saviour with the amount of headaches I have
i spent more time on this than i wanna admit
knifefuck :)
godshit
trash sex
Shameless self promotion of my AO3 because I’ve been writing again and WOW I cringe at my old shit so hard. Cringe and groan as I choke on my Starbucks during the COVID Pandemic.
Isshin Kurosaki holds out a box of condoms to Ichigo. “Going raw is fun, but STDs sure as hell aren’t.” Ichigo doesn’t know what to say, just stares. Isshin continues. “Going raw is what lead to you and your sisters, after all so make sure to use protection!” Blushing and thoroughly embarrassed, Ichigo takes the box and throws it back at Isshin before storming off as Karin laughs in the background at his misfortune. Yuzu has to remind him dinner will be ready shortly and that he better not brood in his room for three hours again or she’ll kick his butt.
Everyone, I am absolutely overjoyed to introduce you to…
The Fists and the Furry: a paperback collection of grimmichi short stories written by myself, in lovely collaboration with the amazingly talented @trevoshere!!! ✨
Containing all my short stories including Love Potion #9, Fangs for the Memories and Something Fishy, wrapped in a delicious bodice-ripping cover completely designed and laid out by Trevo, this beautiful piece of shelf candy legit looks like an aged and weathered romance paperback that you’d find in a local library somewhere. And it’s amazing. 😍
the internet is so cursed, when people look back on the history of covid-19 it’s going to look so different from the history of the plague because we will have left a trace of quarantine playlists all featuring toxic by britney spears
Flower shop AU
Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”
Omfg
MY TIME HAS COME
so you’d need a bouquet of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing.
The “fuck you” bouquet.
(Not to scale. Sources: geranium, foxglove, meadowsweet, yellow carnation, orange lillies.)
Introducing… the Cat Dandy Paperback/Hardcover book!
If you’re anything like Tea and I, when you enjoy a story enough, sometimes there’s just no beating a physical copy of it. Well, since I had a stack of fun writing Cat Dandy and recently wrapped up the final plot, Tea and I decided we wanted a hard copy each. But I liked the paperback and she loves a good hardcover…so we compromised and made one of each! 😊
Literally read Cat Dandy on AO3 and it’s worth the read. Seriously. I wanna buy this now even though I’m broke af *sobs*
Ichigo Kurosaki born 1989 and no one can fucking tell me otherwise.
And about to have a midlife crisis, FUCK YEAH.
No because he would have been 29 in 2018. He’ll turn 31 in 2020.
Cause Ichigo is 27 at the end of the series and his sister’s are 23. Four year difference. I also used the Japanese publish date to run my calculations, so fucking sue me.
He’s 15 when we first meet his character and the Girls are 11 when we first meet them. The three of them on July 17th, when they went to visit Masaki’s grave turned 16 and 12, respectively. Because May falls before June in the calendar.
And he’s 9 when his mom is killed. Which means the Girls are 5. Again, four years difference because fuck Bleach Fandom Wikia for presenting false information! Ichigo’s birthday is July 15th, his sisters is May 6th because twins.
WHICH MEANS KUROSAKI YUZU AND KARIN ARE BORN IN THE YEAR OF 1993! They are year of the Rooster in the Chinese Zodiac and Ichigo would be year of the Snake in 1989.
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT EVERY ONE
Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you
HMMMMMMMMMM
in case you don’t understand what this post is suggesting, the issue lies in the wild amount of drug seizures involving specifically 280g of crack cocaine, which completely breaks the natural pattern of bigger quantities being rarer
therefore- very good chance this increase in arrests is tied to police forces planting crack cocaine on unsuspecting civillians and arresting them for it
Oh gotcha. Thanks for clarifying how fucked up this is
Whelp Shit
Hi y’all. I have returned for the bowels of who the fuck knows where with news! I wrote some shit, I plan on publishing it after I get some sleep b/c WOW WHEN DID IT GET TO BE ALMOST SIX AM (not here, of course) And it is for a lovely little angel named @Puraiuddo! I’ve kinda just fucked off after tumblr’s adult content announcement and feel really bad, so I’m sorry guys. I mean, I’m... I’m just kinda upset I fucked off with fanfiction and this for so long because of my personal life. I forgot how much I loved it, tbh