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SEXGOD

@sexgodmccormick / sexgodmccormick.tumblr.com

Hey everybody! It's Kenny McCormickSex god andMost risque guy around
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Clint: First, I’d like to thank Peter for giving me two dollars, it wasn’t necessary but I appreciate it.
Tony: Why did you do that, kid?
Peter: I thought he was homeless
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Tony: i’m having a baby

Peter: oh, okay that’s gr—

Tony, slamming down a pad of adoption papers: it’s you, sign here.

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goddamndogs

"Everyone takes nudes...right?"

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* STARTERS FROM MY GROUPCHAT !!  – @sexgodmccormick
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   “Maybe not everyone but I would say a lot of people.”

   One could call it a technicality, unnecessary for the conversation and yet he felt the need to argue the choice of words. He hadn’t taken nudes; he was still wearing his briefs in those pictures.

   The real question was why McCormick was asking, especially with a tone that seemed to seek for reassurance. “Did you get hacked or something?”

   For him to come over to Christophe’s house with an inquiry like that, he could only assume so. Or maybe he sent them to the wrong person; it wouldn’t be surprising.

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"So pretty much everyone," Kenny said with slight tone of apprehension. He cleared his throat some and tried to train his expression into something more neutral. "I like to think I have a fairly attractive body, I've got nice legs. So if I accidental sent them to someone who wasn't meant to get them they should probably feel pretty good about the whole situation. Kind of like a 'you're welcome' moment...right?" 

Kenny asked raising his eyebrow. "Besides I bet even grandmas take nudes these days!" He picked at a lose strand on his jacket and frowned. "They were tasteful at least, classy nudes. I put a black and white filter on them and everything." He hesitated for a moment before glancing back at the other. "You've never taken nudes?" 

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((Ooc, y'all this shit makes me really sad. Don't get pets if arnt willing to commit to them for the rest of their lives. I get putting yourself first but that doesn't mean throwing your pets away cause they are no longer convenient.))

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Injured/Bleeding Sentence Starters

  • “That’s a lot of blood…” 
  • “That’s not good…” 
  • “I think that’s more than a little cut.”
  • “You’re looking rather pale.”
  • “You’re bleeding!”
  • “That doesn’t look good…” 
  • “I don’t think that’s suppose to come out.” 
  • That’s a bit of an interesting angle for that to go at.” 
  • “How do I get it to stop?!” 
  • “How are you still standing?!”
  • “Don’t get up, you’ll make it worse.” 
  • “What happened to you?”
  • “I can’t feel my fingers anymore…” 
  • “Everything hurts.” 
  • “Is everything supposed to go dark?”
  • “Ow, yeah, okay, that’s starting to hurt.” 
  • “It’s just a cut.” 
  • “I’ve had worse.” 
  • “You’re bleeding all over my floor!” 
  • “You better not die on me.” 
  • “They got a lucky shot…” 
  • “Next time don’t call me to come over only to find you in a pool of your own blood!” 
  • “You need to keep pressure on it.” 
  • “Don’t move!” 
  • “That looks nasty.” 
  • “Am I dying?” 
  • Send 🔪+ your own
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goddamndogs

"I was cleaning the floor..."

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Even more Random Sentences.—  @sexgodmccormick

“Funny way to clean ze floor. What was up with ze snoring and ze lack of doing any cleaning at all?”

To come back home and finding a bundle of orange fabric curled up on the floor of his living room was quite the surprise. To hear it snoring and see it unmovable leaned more towards annoyance so the light kicks to Kenny’s side was the way he chose to wake the blond up.

“I do hope I won’t find a broken window somewhere, McCormick.”, he grumbled. Christophe wasn’t going to kick him out; if the guy had to go as far as breaking into his house, he had a reason – as crazy as it might be. He also hoped he wasn’t just drunk.

“Get up. I’ll get a spare bed ready for you.”

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"It's not broken," Kenny groaned as he sat up. "It might not lock again though," he added after a moment. "You sure? I can make do with the sofa, it's not a big deal." He slept on the couch at home all the time. He was afraid though that might be coming to an end. "I uh...couldn't really pay rent this month." He admitted. "The landlord sort of locked the doors on me. I get my paycheck in a couple weeks though so l can probably just ask Stan or somebody if they'll let me crash with them."

It really hasn't been his intention to bother the other. It had gotten cold out though he really did need that nap.

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Due to current weather condtions, I’m offically extending cuddling season. you’re welcome. 

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rpmemestbh

Sickness starters!

( as requested by the lovely @zalemoonshadow )
  • ❝You aren’t looking so hot.❞ 
  • ❝Maybe you should sit down.❞
  • ❝I think I need to sit down.❞
  • ❝Just take it easy today.❞
  • ❝No – no. We’re going home, right now.❞
  • ❝Can we leave?❞
  • ❝You just threw up 3 times, you’re not fine!❞
  • ❝I’m fine. I think I’m done now.❞
  • ❝Just let me take care of you. Why are you so stubborn?❞
  • ❝We’re going to the pharmacy and then we’re going home.❞
  • ❝My stomach isn’t feeling so great.❞
  • ❝I think my stomach is trying to digest itself.❞
  • ❝I think I just need some sleep.❞
  • ❝Will you stay with me tonight?❞
  • ❝I don’t want to get you sick.❞
  • ❝You’re gonna get me sick!❞
  • ❝Holy shit, you’re burning up.❞
  • ❝I can’t stop sweating.❞
  • ❝I can’t stop shivering.❞
  • ❝Are you ever not sick?❞ 
  • ❝How the hell are you still conscious right now? Your temp is almost 104.❞
  • ❝Urgent care or ER? Those are your two options. We’re not staying here.❞
  • ❝Do you want some tea?❞
  • ❝I made you some tea.❞
  • ❝I’m losing my voice.❞
  • ❝I couldn’t get any sleep last night, I can’t breathe out of my nose.❞
  • ❝Oh my god, you sound like Roz from Monsters Inc!❞
  • ❝Bathroom. Now.❞
  • ❝Bed. Now.❞
  • ❝I’m not taking that medicine, it’s disgusting.❞
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“Someone has to stay sober to cart your comatose ass around.”

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I’m not that bad! comatose is stretching it, I can have a perfectly cohorent conversation with you when I’m drunk! 

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shitthepizza

Even more Random Sentences.

Random sentences, mostly a made-up dysfunctional friendship. Change what you need to and enjoy. um warning for profanity, I guess.

  1. “Watch out for a hurricane.”
  2. “Did you just take my last smoke?”
  3. “I needed it more.”
  4. “I was smoking it, jackass.”
  5. “And I need to die quicker.”
  6. “Then throw yourself into traffic, that works faster.”
  7. “You’re an unfeeling bastard.”
  8. “Why because you took my cigarette out of my mouth?”
  9. “That and more.”
  10. “Words, words, words.”
  11. “Look, I’ll buy you a new pack, you big baby.”
  12. “Whatever, putz.”
  13. “Hate you too.”
  14. “Are you still talking?”
  15. “Think you’d shut up by now.”
  16. “Teach you to think shit like that.”
  17. “You do know I can kill you while you sleep.”
  18. “Good thing I never sleep.”
  19. “Bitch, you were sleeping on the kitchen floor this morning.”
  20. “I was cleaning the floor.”
  21. “You were drooling on it.”
  22. “Like you’ve never passed out after an all-night bender.”
  23. “I don’t drink, dumbass.”
  24. “That’s why you’re boring.”
  25. “Someone has to stay sober to cart your comatose ass around.”
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Phan RP partner

Would anyone be interested in a phan rp? I normally like to write bottom Phil and it gets hard to find people. I’ve done all kinds of AUs and I have no trigger warnings. Or if somebody is interested in collaborating on a fic that would be amazing as well. Also this isn’t my phan account sorry, it was easier to post with this account. Hopefully if your interested you don’t mind writing larger paragraphs. I’m not picky but maybe more than just a few sentenced ((Also hit me up if you like Peterick, spirk, or wolfstar, or crenny. We could rp that instead))

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