Colin Mochrie is the undisputable fucking king of Improv

The newscaster puns are a whole different level.

Nailed it.

young man, the groomsbride is a whore i said young man, please close the goddamn door

this is it

the post that is simultaneously the best and worst post in existence

groom door hand whore bride door

It would be so nice to be in an apartment right now with really big open windows and lots of bright light pouring in and and long curtains and the smell of rain floating through it

The Millennial generation is so broke we’re romanticizing decent housing.

i feel like the government has tried to erase all my memories of these

x

On February 3rd, 2019, we will have 2/3/19.

TODAY’S THE DAY!

i don’t think that a movie needs to be good in order for it to be good

College professor type 1: any email you send them on Friday or after 4pm on a weekday is lost to the void. Gone. A whisper in the wind. Office hours? 7:00-7:15 on alternate tuesdays. My office is in Montana good fucking luck

College professor type 2: responds within 2 minutes at 3am on a weekend but only in single sentences with no punctuation

this is so real that scares me

so we have a letter board in the apartment

reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.

Terrible idea:

Tarot DnD. It’s DnD but you replace the dice with tarot cards and the DM has to interpret the results by symbolism instead of numbers.

Ooh! My friend proposed an idea similar to this. CAH DnD. It’s basically the same concept but instead of tarot cards, you use Cards Against Humanity cards. As she put it:

“Perception check”

“Bees?”

“BEES???”

That sounds absolutely HORRENDOUS, your friend should be very proud

I’m enjoying the idea of CAH tarot. 

“What does the future hold for me?” 

“A bag of dicks.” 

this is stomp dog it shows up to stomp away sadness

It works

please stop these tears stomp dog

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

I saw this before I left work last night and had a quiet hope, and today I checked my phone at about quarter to two, while I was still on my lunch break, and I’ve just got a job interview with the BBC next week

I’m not a big believer in anything much but I’m so happy holy shit. So like unrelated note but something real good happened to me at 1.42 today lol

Can’t take any chances these days

Here goes