an alternate tumblr where the website is red and everyone is nice

if u ever think a boy in class is cute just look @ him outside of class i promise you the only reason you think he’s cute is bc you have limited selection in class and your standards are momentarily lowered

turns out im a lesbian lol

emo stands for eat me out

Not all heroes wear capes

The saga continues

A happy ending.

probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet

Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that “I have no idea how to do that - but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I’ll figure something out for you.” I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, “You do realize that I just like…google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don’t know how to do, right?”

But his praise didn’t change at all. There was no “Wait, that’s all it is?”

Instead, he said “Yes, but the fact that you think to do that - and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you’ve learned and use it going forward - is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it’s “just googling stuff,” but it’s still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don’t shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay?“

And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don’t undervalue your googling skills, kids. It’s not lying if you know you can figure it out.

top tier search skills: finding the source of a rare meme

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

me not understanding a movie: wow… the cinnamon tography

(via DrMassicotte)

Appreciate the good art. It comes from the heart.

gifted to his parents by suprise. wholesome.

no more discourse everybody shut the fuck up and eat some bread

-Jesus at the last supper

Ok Germany ok

Me when I walk with my mom somewhere 

are you spongebob or squidward I can’t tell

somehow I’m both

It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:

It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.

me: i hate country music

shania twain: let’s go girls!

me:

me: i hate country music

carrie underwood: right now, he’s probably-

me: 

Me: I hate country music 

Beyoncé: daddy’s little girl 

Me:

me: i hate country music

dolly parton: jolene jolene jolene jooooleeeeeeeeene

me:

me: i hate country music

Lady Antebellum: It’s a quarter after one!

me:

A kid in my 7th grade summer credit recovery class got caught jerking off and i just looked him up on facebook and he’s in the army now

god bless our soldiers

I’m legit crying at this

White Lady Boycotts News Station Because New Reporter Is Thick AF And She Ain’t

This is Demetria Obilor. Demetria has body for days. And Jan is SICK about it.

On Wednesday, Facebook user Jan Shedd was stewing in frustration over the curvaceousness of a stunning woman of color.

Apparently, ABC Dallas recently hired voluptuous and beautiful traffic ensemble reporter Demetria Obilor and the middle-aged White woman is up in arms over it.

Source: http://www.ebony.com/news-views/white-woman-demetria-obilor-double-standards#axzz4xTPktazJ

Award for best tweet goes to:

My God!

THAT JEALOUSY IS STRONG.

First of all that girl ain’t no size 16/18.